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jǫrð Nov 2023
My inflection changed,
"Oh my God"
To "Oh," "My God,"
My sweet God.
The History: "It's is noteworthy that this Godhood thus extends only to your own Self, not to the selves of others (though a clever God may certainly influence them.)"
jǫrð Nov 2023
Learned this lesson as a child
Don't say more than you have to
And never write it down
Unless you want someone to read it
I keep forgetting
For the sake of being myself
The History: People respond better when I don't have much to say.
jǫrð Nov 2023
Awake into the night
Paralysed before sleep took hold
Suffocated by my worries
As some stranger had foretold
Awake into the night
I dreamt of coffins and stars
Hopeful for a soft future
One that died out young
Awake into the night
I felt him lingering near
Tickling my occipital lobe
Reminding me for the first time, ever
I'm never really alone
The History: I was little once, with a lot of big dreams and sleep paralysis
jǫrð Oct 2023
Your mother would be proud of you
That's what you told me

When I asked her, her opinion, she turned and said to me

One day he will be jailed, or my four will become three

When I pointed out your white lies
And each great or small misdeed

Objecting, you'd cry,  "I'll make
"Something" from my misery."

I cried, and I tried to tell you before it happened
What comes from this foolish pride

& You cocked your head, laughing back
While spitting in my eyes
The History: My ex boyfriend who painted me as heinous disgusting person was arrested in February. He is in jail for 3 years. I pity him, but I also tried to warn him. Another one bites the dust.
jǫrð Oct 2023
Treat me like a therapist
Until you feel embarrassed

Tell me you talk to me
Even more than your new wife

Act like it's a compliment
I know any good doctor would

Say that's unhealthy but
I am afraid of your reaction

So bite my tongue, and I listen
And then when you tell me

I remind you of your ex
You really mean I remind you

Of the one who got out from
Underneath your sweaty thumb

Unable to be controlled
And that just kills you
The History: He talks to me any which way he pleases. I have accepted the indiscretions, in addition to his displaced and covert professions of love. He is higher on the food chain and I am not afraid to point out his weakness. He is wholly unreliable and hates that I know, or so it seems. He is quick to anger, the closest external contact I've had with sociopathic tendencies. He lies for his own preservation, he ignores risk factors, he disregards others' experiences.
I struggle with some of the same issues. I identify them within me and work to change them. He has influenced me to be a better person so as not to end up alone as he has, comparing strangers to people of his past and allowing his bias to control every interaction. Sad from someone who's had such a long time to get it together. I sense, regret.
jǫrð Oct 2023
He died here
And his soul
Says, with the
Sky,
"Look away
Child, avert
Your eyes,
From these
Continuous
Atrocities
You are
Powerless to
Change.

Look to the
Colors ive
Painted high
Those who
Could, will
Never help"
We admire
The sunset
And search
The astral
Instead.
The History: I sat where he was hit for a while, they say I shouldn't be upset, I didn't watch him die, I was merely there for the precursors to the event. How is that any better? I look away from the crosswalk, to my left. I see the sky painted the most gorgeous sunset each time I miss him. I weep, because this was all entirely preventable and everyone just looked away when something could have been done months in advance, after I said something. Now nothing can bring him back, and they just don't think about it.
jǫrð Oct 2023
From our
Bed's stillness,
He scurries off
Softly into
The morning
Delicate and
Quiet as mice
We say goodbye
& yearn
For when we'll
Meet again.
The History: Come home.
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