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Aug 2023 · 244
ichor
Kai Aug 2023
there, in that pool of blood
lies the evidence of my
arrogation to presume
i could make the world a fool

truths i declared were lies
swirl down the porcelain
drown in condemning pain;
my identity's demise

umbilical conceit,
crimson hypocrisy,
with this sure paradox
why do i not know defeat?
Mar 2021 · 2.3k
we never talk
Kai Mar 2021
vices binding my soul; ever complying
perfect obedience; never denying
i'm silent no matter how terrifying
i'm on the verge of tears but never crying
my lungs only produce a quiet sighing
i'm screaming final breaths but never dying
and all the while my pain's intensifying
my wings fledged and outstretched but never flying
i try to speak but there's no point replying
i'm done with all your endless justifying

you could've changed, but you're just never trying
the 11 syllables thing is part of the poem. you get lured into thinking it will flow nicely like an iambic pentameter, but then you reach the end of the line and you feel like you have to interrupt yourself to maintain the rhythm. that's because you do. that's how it's meant to be read. the interruption is part of the poem.

you can read this in multiple ways. either one person struggling against another, or two people arguing.
Kai Nov 2020
yá quanta lisselë náldë, valinvë lïndalyë
ar, lé vilya nenda, urulya i ilúvënna tulolyë
lertalyë rácina apa veryavë mahtalyë
immoencavë i miruvórë o rihtarlya antalyë

translation:
when you are full of sweetness, happily you sing
and, through steam (lit. wet air), bring your warmth to the world
you’re so fragile (lit. you can be broken), but you bravely fight fire
selflessly you give away the nectar of your efforts
this took.... way too long
after a long and convoluted chain of events i, roleplaying an elf character, needed to write a poem about a freaking kettle. so instead of doing something like writing poetry in italicized english, i just went on parf ed helen and said “ok.... time to figure this out”
it’s in quenya from LOTR, the only version of elvish i could find grammar resources on. it took me a long time to figure it out and i had to make up some words and approximate here and there, but i actually managed to get more than just rhyme scheme down! the lines alternate between 14 and 17 syllables so take that

character wasn’t from LOTR but like no ones looking shhhh
Kai Oct 2020
kind of? it just fills me with so much-- so much desperation when I think about how many people want to die.

and i spent, like, almost three hours or something yesterday trying to talk people out of it online. because i was thinking about it. but most of them didn't change their minds, or anything.

did i fail them? i could have been their last chance. i could have been so many people's last chance. i could have saved them if i'd known the right words to say.

Woah, hey, hey, I gotta stop you there. You can't blame yourself for it if... if they don't change their minds.You're not the reason they want to die, so it's... it's not your fault if they do. And you're not making them any more likely that they will, either.

no, no, i'm not. i know it's not my fault. but... i just care so much! i can't believe they want to die. i wish i could tell them that i'm here for them and i want to give them all the things they wanted and couldn't get because life couldn't give it to them. i wish i could show them how beautiful it all can be.

But you can't.
You can't even help yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask first, you know?

you and i both know that anything going on with me isn't nearly that serious

It should be.

what's that supposed to mean? are you trying to say that i should be worse? i should want... want to die?

No, no! Jeez. I mean you should take it seriously- as seriously as you've been taking random strangers' problems on the internet. If you don't take care of yourself, then maybe one day the tables'll turn and there'll be someone trying to talk you out of it. You matter too, you know. You're just human.

i

...Are you okay?

y
yeah. sorry. i'm just not used to this

Used to what?

you being nice?
Be kind to yourself. Not everything in the world is your fault. Not every evil is because of your personal failure.

Not sure what to tag.
Oct 2020 · 182
last love letter
Kai Oct 2020
I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I always lacked the courage.
I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you in person. I was scared of what you might think.
I regret not telling you sooner.
I couldn't live like this anymore.
I can't live without you.
This has been coming for a long time now.
I know how I feel. It's okay if you can't accept it.
I love you. Forever.
some things which might be in a suicide note or a love letter
they're not that far apart, really.
Kai Feb 2020
i don't like free verse
it doesn't make sense to me
no one should write it

even if free verse
makes you happy, i don't care
no one should write it

it doesn't affect
me, but i don't think it's right
no one should write it

it lacks structure, too
nothing should lack that, ever
no one should write it

no one should write it
as it is sin incarnate
freedome is evil
i am not actually hating on free verse ****, write whatever makes you happy! be freeeee!! express yourself! :D free verse, along with all forms of poetry, can be beautiful!

this entire thing is a bit sarcastic haha! i chose free verse bc a) the word free is RIGHT THERE and b) it's something I personally dislike!

i feel like the message is a little bit stronger if i, someone who dislikes free verse, still insist that i shouldn't be going around and telling people not to write in it yanno?
replace free verse with literally anything! being lgbtqa+, liking my little pony, still dabbing even though its dead, playing fortnite, being a furry... the sarcasm remains!

either let others do as they please (so long as no one is hurt) without giving them hell over it, or resolve that freedom is evil and you will meekly accept the commands of those above you and change yourself to conform, too

you are not a god
your way is not superior
Feb 2020 · 81
The Colours of Fear
Kai Feb 2020
Fear could be a quivering yellow,
Huddling bright against the dark
With shadows seeping in every unseen crevice
Pale, sick, unsure

Maybe it’s a blood maroon
Whose stench invades the arteries
In a disgusting, thrumming onslaught
As a red heart roars

Or an icy white nihility
With its intense blankness
That bends meekly, inferior
Against the immense pallid void

But I declare the truth
Fear is a poisonous violet
Which clouds your senses
And you can’t think
You can’t feel
There is
Nothing
But

Fear.
this SEEMS rushed, but it actually took a very long while to choose the words! the poem is sort of a personal experience, as i used my ideasthesia (specifically my word-->color ideasthesia) to choose them!
Aug 2019 · 451
Fire Arms
Kai Aug 2019
it lies entombed in fabric and stale air
the fire arms swaddled in cotton shields
scalding, the guilt, huddled and shining fair
the narrow, long weapon it finds it wields

disgust, at itself
set back on the shelf
dives back in the sea
of cloth Calliope

though arduous, the work to quench the flames’
thirst would fruit with cool, gentle blossomed rose
they wilt into an ugly, blackened shame
with scarlet spark still glowing ‘neath their throes

it found a better way-
let cooling comfort stay
fire cannot fight flame
and burn cannot beat blame
in which fire symbolizes so many things it is actually ridiculous. also, it’s very edgy.

seriously though if someone wants to do a symbolic analysis go for it. i shoved so much random stuff into this
Mar 2019 · 953
True Bond
Kai Mar 2019
You love me? I love me, too.
We have something in common.
Let's be friends, until the end.

You hate you? I hate you, too.
We have yet more in common.
Let's be brothers, you and I.
I don't really know why almost every freakin poem on this site is a free-verse, romantic poem. I don't mind it, I guess??

I did a sort of parody on it, ha- though I love my meters too much so I put seven syllables per line anyway...

This is, like, the ultimate friend zone poem X'D
Mar 2019 · 3.1k
The Phoenix
Kai Mar 2019
The phoenix burned, once more returned, from fiery pyre aflame
With wings outstretched, soared o’er land wretch’d, seen, by the bird, as the same
old forests of past, which never could last 'gainst nature’s violent outlashes
Yet in dreams surviving, defiant, and thriving; though the air still reeked of ashes

The scorching sunset cast its melting gold net o’er the equally smoldering earth
Night's moon and day's star hung above the earth's scar as two eyes that weighed the wasteland's worth
They deemed it as decent, though the charring of recent corrupted their judgement in part
And through the cloud's pain, the celestial rain cascaded down to the wood's heart

The tears of the sky rinsed the aching dirt dry, and quenched its desperate dreams
The caked floor, satiated, filled up and inflated with life bursting at its seams
Beneath vanished leaves, under wire canopies, green shoots had begun to grow
The Phoenix, all-seeing, saw the passionate being of the plants sprouting below.

The forest will burn as time’s wheels turn, evermore reaching its end
Everything dies, yet The Phoenix still flies, watching all birthed again.
This is sort of a first draft...? I might rewrite the poem and make it better one day but at the moment it's also technically a finished poem.

It’s about the resilience of nature in the face of inevitable and cyclic death (i.e. the phoenix).

I liked the idea of the sun and the moon acting as eyes which weep when it rains, so I kept it in- for now, at least.
Mar 2019 · 1.2k
Symbiosis
Kai Mar 2019
Two roses intertwine, becoming one;
their fragile petals thirsting for the sun.
They lift each other’s leaves up to the light;
and so, together, blossom through the night.
This poem's meaning is really up to you. You can even take it literally if you'd like.
I tried to express the feeling of two entities, both broken or fragile or vulnerable for some reason, helping each other through some period of time. The circumstance and nature of the relationship between the entities can change; the poem still applies.
I named it 'Symbiosis', because that is the most summarized form of what this poem was intended to describe. [In biology, a symbiotic relationship is when two organisms assist one another, such as a fish eating the parasites and such off another fish. One fish gets food and the other food gets cleaned.]

I tried to add some visual poetry, too, with each line looking a little longer than the previous line in a sort of stair-step pattern - as if you could climb up and be triumphant.

oh, and yeah this is iambic pentameter... heh

— The End —