Again, I have failed.

I have failed myself,
I have failed my mother,
I have failed my teachers,
my future, the time.

I ignored what they asked
my responsibilities
I threw in the trash.

It keeps haunting me,
day and night,
the need to run away
from everything
Yet its still hovering above me
and it pains me
its scares me
it kills me

but this time
it won't let me let it go
and cry

long white knives
that peirce through the
skin
of their prey
first they softly
puncture
thrickles of blood
dripping from the
fresh
pink
wound
then, they dig deeper
slowly
blood runs
faster
as the predator
***** it in
a maroon mess
finally
it lets go
and pulls the once
white teeth
now
decorated in royal red

Another morning full of clouds
Another car just passing by
Another hour wasted, missed.
Customary, boring, silent, ******.

No stream of light.
No string of gold.
But there's one thing.
There is a hope.

A hope for light,
For somet long new.
For something more.
Some more from you.

I held the paper
the sweet lie
in my hands
and devoured it.
Each word
like a drug
lulled me
More.
And more.
The poison seeped
into me
My heart absorbed
it.

Now the cold wind
swirls in it
Pain. Cold pain. It's real.
The missing piece
destroys me.

I hear the wood creaking
under his steps
His heavy breath
Echoes in the
     long, empty hallway
His whistling
It gets louder
     the pitch gets higher
as he comes closer
The tune
I realize I've heard it before
I've seen him before
A friend.
His eyes, they're always so
happy
Now, the spark is
gone
insanity
madness
It has to be
My heart beats faster
racing
like never before
It's about to jump
I swear he can hear it
The steps
they're closer
so close
Silence.
He's standing at the door,
I know it.
I shiver in hiding
and hear my shallow breath echo
in the darkness
in which I hide
Silence.
he's waiting.
The **** slowly turns
and he creaks the door
open
slowly
Light streams into the room
all I see is
the light
it gets wider, the light
no whistling
no steps
just heavy breathing
and my heart beating
he takes a step

Goodbye.