When I close my eyes.
I see a hut with a single wall.
The rain.
Crashing down around me.
Mud and water splashing
In every direction.
Rain drumming each and every leaf.
A symphony drowning my ears.
A wind that carries the howling darkness and it's frozen whispers.
A forest full of trees bending to break.
Attempting to escape.
Anywhere but here.

So why am I here?

So I eat the vanilla and strawberry because I know I like those. I leave the chocolate till last but can't figure out if I don't like it as much or like it more.

When the tub of ice cream is empty and I'm spooning the streaks up the side.

I'm still thinking, "would I do it any differently next time?"

On our first date I'm gonna sit on my phone.
Appear uninterested.
Keep asking you to "repeat that".
When you try and get my attention I'll laugh emphatically at something on my phone and show it to you.
Because I'm Gen Y and I don't have a ******* clue.

I was taught
To show affection when it suits me.
To show love when it's manipulative.
And always to keep you down so it feels like I'm floating.
Because I never want to remember how it feels to sink.

Y I don't identify with Gen Y.

I think I've had enough.
Being alone didn't always make me feel lonely.
Someone come and whisk me away if only.

Everything I need is always just out of grasp.
Find that good girl and make it count.
Is that too much to ask.

Because if I ever do find that one of many.
N' my reclusive heart digs it's way out of the ground.
I'll just sit back bewildered at what I found.

What do you write about when you don't quite feel broken.
**** ****, lost my only inspiration.
I can't write for **** when it's not painful and emptying.
Without the feelings of love and sorrow.
These words aren't **** just hollow.

I know I feel lonely these days.
I start to write about it but look.
I get to the end of 3 verses and feel like a crook.

It was meant to be something but it twisted into nothing.
Kinda like this garbage.
Guess that's why they call it art right.
Its ugly and pointless but someone will find inspiration in my emptiness.

I know that's a long shot.
But if its justification I need.
It's all I've got.