Eli - Hello Poetry

Eli Jan 2021

Fears

Soft kisses
in summer rain

sprinkle upon
thy lips in vain.

Let me ride
through the pain.

I need my fears
to be slain.

This is the shortest poem that took me the longest to write. The first 4 lines were the original part of it. I wrote those lines in 2014. I didn't know there were going to be anymore lines to this until several months ago. But in the moment, when I wrote the original lines, they didn't really make sense to me. But now, it does. Because everything was in vain. Everything was in vain because I had ultimately failed to slay my fears. I let them consume me instead.

Eli Jan 2021

Boy

Am I
a boy?

or

Is my mind
a toy?

My realization of being trans came about a few days ago. I affectively came out to myself in another poem I published here. But, I'm still dealing with doubts and wondering whether or not I'm faking or if the answer I've stumbled across is wrong.

#transgender #trans #ftm #self #discovery #doubt

Eli Jan 2021

Storm

Keep me safe.

Keep me warm.

All through the night,
let's weather the storm.

No hands have
held my heart
as you have held mine.

But in the morning,
fear will rise.

Strike it down.

For it, I despise.

This is another one I wrote a few years ago pertaining to the relationship I was in. I'd fall asleep falling feel safe, but wake up full of fear. The storm is me.

#love #fear #anxiety #relationships

Eli Jan 2021

Why

Why does
it hurt?

All that
I've lost

and

All that
I've gained

But still,

I sit
inside this
pain.

I guess this is grief. That's all I can say.

#grief #sorrow #lonely #sad #pain #depression #lost

Eli Jan 2021

Deceiver

Why did you do that to her?
Why did you leave her in the dark?
After all, you were beautiful to her.
Why did you destroy the light in her heart?

This is maddening.

I want to understand.

What could she
have done to keep you there?

But instead, you strayed...
Leaving her betrayed...

Now, we've found each other

Two broken hearts melding together

Segments of our cracked souls breathe new life.

It's unacceptable to bring her such strife

I know you are still the same, Deceiver of Hearts.

Nothing will ever change.

But when musings
of your obscenities
intrude my conscience,

My soul feels her pain.

I wrote this several years ago while I was in a relationship with someone who's had a pretty significant impact on my life. We're no longer together, but we're still friends. And, I know us being apart is for the best. Anyway, I was watching a video titled "The Science of Cheating", and it ****** me off. It made me think about the ex that had hurt her so much.

#relationships #heartbreak #heartbroken #trust #lies

Eli Jan 2021

Time

All I do
is sit here
all day

and

All I see
is how much
I fray

Time

isn't a

friend

It counts

down

to the

end

I'm wasting my life away

#time #wasted #life #depression #stuck

Eli Jan 2021

Dreams

Somber pieces
float away

Rainbows
of the night

Colors dipped
in gray

Is it safe
to pray?

Why must
we fight?

This only leads
astray.

Dreams
are bound
by our
atmosphere.

Hidden
behind sight

Underneath
they appear.