come & find me
i've left my phone plugged
into the wall because i can't feel
you breathe through your fingertips
and i can't read your lips through emoji
your belly-button doesn't look right shrouded
in 8 mega-pixel dust and i want to touch you instead
of a keyboard on a screen and tell you about my day because
even though it's written doesn't mean it's real meet me offline because
i don't want a five second snapchat victory snapshot of your *****-line
i don't want my silly romantic poetry to be re-grammed on your insta
framed against a picturesque city skyline or a stoic mountain lion
with hashtags and sexting doesn't turn me on like the sound of
your voice i can write you letters until my fingers bleed but
they always arrive seven days late and you never cry
when you cut them open with a knife and i'm not
looking for a pen pal anyway or a friend
instead i seek a mirror with glowing
teeth or an outlet to plug
into and charge
me up

still wear your shorts to bed sometimes
******* the hole in the side.
i don't connect them with you anymore
except for the few times i catch myself in the mirror
and remember staring at myself in your sliding doors
wondering when i would be brave enough to get away from you.

the pain is dull
like all the white ridges on my arms and thighs
but the boy in shakespeare class
wears your cologne
and monday, wednesday, friday
every breath i breathe in class
is
frightened.

he didn't ask
i didn't tell
and that worked
now he wants more
than i am willing to give
or have and
i think i love him
or loved him
or could love him someday
but right now
now he wants more
than i am willing to give
or have

Do you remember all those nights that we painted the town?
When I'd bring you back up when you began to come down.
Our mouths were dry from smoking but never too bad to kiss.
I'd be happy if you were with me and we were laying like this.
When he touches my thigh baby, know it's not the same.
And know that I don't get those butterflies when he says my name.
In another life, another place, maybe we'd work things out.
Perhaps we'd live happy ever after and we'd have no doubts.
But for now it seems the least we can do is try.
No worries, no *******, but just you and I.

What happens when the narcissist
falls in love with the sociopath?

"People treat you like damaged goods
or ticking time bombs,
as if you’re some oddity
they would never understand
even when they don’t know a thing about you.
You are not some machine to be fixed.
You are not a problem.
You are not a burden.
You are a person
healing from the hurt,
finding warmth
under the rain
and wonder
under the stars.
And late at night
as you share
your stories
I feel like the Earth,
listening,
and remembering,
while you are the Moon,
and you are glowing."

i didn't mind getting
paper cuts
for he was
my favorite book

the one you
fell in love with
still lives,
she is just
well hidden
from monsters
like you.