I'm always searching for feelings
Adrenaline, love, sadness

But they disappear
Before I can catch
The fleeting sensations

Leaving me searching once again

Grotesquely vague
The obscene, hell bound silence
Each step a milestone of triumph
The valleys are dark, she holds her breath for each dawn
The bitter taste
The strands fall out until your head is naked and furless
The convulsions of radiation so ******,
creating eruptions of decay
You won't let this win
You won't be slayed
The apathetic walls just glare, they've seen it all
It's all they know
Your hope begins to fade
The darkness begins to sweep over you
Your that skeletal anatomy on display
Your empty and hollow
There's not much left anymore
Your deteriorating as we speak

I floated and drifted
Uncontrollably
Passing through memories and thoughts
I held back tears
Watching
They slipped by
But new ones came into view
And I watched
I smiled
I laughed
I cried
I saw red
I hid behind the shadows
I voiced my opinion
I loved
I obsessed
I envied
I tested limits
I grew up
I developed individuality

I lived

I felt the emotions it takes a lifetime to gather

And I died

When you were single, you suddenly decided to join us.
Spent most of your days hanging out with us.
Made yourself a part of the group, which we all welcomed.
Treated you like a sibling almost, banters and jokes abound.

Months passed by and we saw you with your partner.
When you told us you found your special someone, we couldn't be happier.
We should have known though,
Your spending time with us was through.

When was the last time you joined our gatherings?
When was the last time you talked to us about anything?

Now that you are no longer single again,
We seem to be of no use to you.
Now that our friendship has reached a strain,
We seem to be dead to you.

Some friend you are.

The summer nights with you were like heaven  hot and steamy
The walks in the fall with you were a reminder that nothing stays alive at one point the love dies.
The white snow reminded me of purity that once I had before I met you.
The one thing  that was taking away when you walked out on me.
The spring reminds me that there's always a way to bring yourself back to life after a heartbreak

nobody said
you have to be happy
and nobody told you
to take off your dark
in favor of
somebody else’s light

The smell of the lake brings me back to you,
summer's at the cabin, the lake seems to have lost it's blue
And your pictures proved a point, of how happy we really were
Your pictures proved a point that your cancer couldn't cure

Because as the pictures continued, your hair started to go
As the pictures continued, I watched the faded blue lake grow
Our love became so much stronger, it had always meant so much.
Our love was something big, now I crave your touch
I miss crying in your arms, when something wasn't right
I miss falling asleep with you, holding me so tight

I'm scared of forgetting everything I know
I'm scared to say goodbye, scared to let you go.
But I felt a sign with you today,
Maybe this is you telling me- people aren't meant to stay