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Mel Nov 2017
i breathe you out to breathe myself in,
i love the sun, i love the rain, i love wind,
the pain i feel is what is setting me free,
it hurts, it kills, i feel sick, i feel weak,
everytime i focus on you, i'm not focusing on me,
i want you, i want you to save me,
but you cannot save me, i need to save myself,
i feel sick, i feel like i'm going to be sick,
if i *****, will that get rid of the pain,
i'm shaking, i can't breathe, i miss you,
but i'm missing an even bigger part of me

i want to be sick, i want to let it all out, my stomach hurts, my soul is being ripped apart, i feel ill,
i cannot accept you because i do not accept me,
i want your touch to heal me, i want your kisses, i want to feel your love, i just want to hear your reassuring words and your voice to calm the hurt,
but i can't rely on you anymore, i have to be by myself, i have to do some work

i want to cut you off, i want to cut you out,
like a disease in my body, i want rid of you,
i want the memories to fade and i want the hurt to stop, i want to lie down, i want to give up

i thought loving you would mean i would find myself, but that couldn't be further from the truth, please don't let me go, i can't handle this pain, i can't handle losing you forever again

i know i have to go to the darkness to find the light,
it's a tiny little photon of light, but it'll be my guide, i keep wanting you, oh how my heart aches,
i pine for your touch to soothe me again, but i do not love myself, i am so weak but this too shall pass

you were my bestfriend and now you are no longer my lover,
i have to love myself now, even with the sickness in my body, i will find the strength, attachment made me believe it was love, i'm just sorry it wasn't

you have shown me so much but i am still lacking,
i am here for you,
but i cannot cover this up and carry on like nothing has happened,
we do not work as a team when we lack love for ourselves,
i'm hurting, please pain get out

i'm letting you go now like a child lets go of a balloon, i may want the idea of you back but this pain made me accept it is over forever.
  Nov 2017 Mel
Mollie Grant
The stars, the ones
hanging in the night
behind your irises,
they dance for you
every time that
you smile
and they teach me
over and over again
that I shouldn't
be scared of
the dark.
  Nov 2017 Mel
Tea
they could scream from the
rooftops
or put it in songs
recite me their poetry
and talk all night long
none of it mattered
their pleas were left unheard

because one look from your eyes
was still
louder than words.
When inspiration strikes.
It feels good to write again.
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