I found my mind in the eye of a cigarette
The thing that I curse and despise, the cigarette
The thing that controls my life, the cigarette
I lost my freedom in the eye of a cigarette

To write a happy poem
First you need a start
You need to find something beautiful
Something close to your heart
If those are the guidelines
Then I'll write about you
Because I see your beauty
There for me, through and through
Your smile brightens up the room
Like sunlight in the dark
Your eyes though small and squinty
Reflect the beauty contained within
I know the reason why they're small
It's not because of genes
It's because you're protecting them
Showing them to those who deserve to see them
Because your eyes are like your heart;
Sensitive, but beautiful
Hidden, but alive

I wanted to write a happy poem
So I tried to write one about you
I hope it says what I meant to mean
And in your heart rings true

I'm coming bro
I'll be there man
Wouldn't miss it for anything
Do we want bottles, or cans?

I'll try to show up
Though I won't stay the night
I want to come, I really do
I just don't want a fight

I might show up
I've got some things to do
You're still my brothers
Especially you

I want to show up
But it doesn't look like I can
Sorry to let you down bro
If only I could get a ride man


Oh, last night was fun
My brother's friend is cool
Cooler than you guys
I've moved on from high school

Don't blame the lion for the pride
Don't let yourself whisper those insults
Don't see the bad and push away the good
Realize there's more to the pride than that
Because even though the Alpha Male
May not be who you'd choose
It's not up to you
Or me
Or he
It's up to the fittest
And his mighty roar may petrify the gazelles
Who ignorantly graze on the pride's land
Who sheepishly bolt away from danger
But the pride should have no fear
The pride should rally around the fearsome roar
Not be scattered around like gazelles
And when one member
Leaves the pride
He steps off the captain's seat
And begins to eat the grass

Raindrops glisten as they slide down her soaked profile
And slowly make their way down to assault her blouse and the floor
The crumpled up letter from the military sulks in the corner
Sneering at the ex-fiancee's plight

All she wants
Is for her body to be wanted
Screaming, clutching, *******
Longing for the childhood she left behind
Longing for the father that left her childhood
Longing for the sweet stickiness
Longing to be wanted
She's finished with work
Pleasure is her job
And the man she pleases on screen
Tells her that her hard, painful effort
Was second rate
Was not pleasurable
Was not worth it
She closes her bedroom door
Knowing nothing else but pleasure anymore
Pleasure now means pain for her
She's caught in a trap
She's scared and alone
She's seeing the consequences of her actions
She cries out to the night
But only the sun and another day of work answer

I'm coming bro
I'll be there man
Wouldn't miss it for anything
Do we want bottles, or cans?

I'll try to show up
Though I won't stay the night
I want to come, I really do
I just don't want a fight

I might show up
I've got some things to do
You're still my brothers
Especially you

I want to show up
But it doesn't look like I can
Sorry to let you down bro
If only I could get a ride man


Oh, last night was fun
My brother's friend is cool
Cooler than you guys
I've moved on from high school

Crashing
The cellphone against the floor
Shattering
Like the former love
Smashing
To pieces, trust that was built
Terrified
Heartbroken sadness
Uncertainty
The final decision
Resolution
Like a knife in my throat
Forgiveness
Like the memory of us
Gone.

I don't care
What the others say
What advice drips from their lips

I don't care
When they turn away
With their hands resting on their hips

I don't care
Cause they can't see
What really goes on between us

I don't care
If we're not meant to be
Because we still have a lot to discuss

I don't care
That I still feel
The love for you, so strong

I don't care;
Next to you I kneel
Because it's with you I feel like I belong

I see the moon through my smoke tinted glasses
It's crescent shape caressing the early morning sky
Before I went out, all of my thoughts were of classes
Now, returning, I am filled with delight
The simple occurance
Of the Sun silhouetting the rock
Brings me joy
As I draw inside
Life is but a collection of experiences
And this one won't be easy to forget
As I stayed up all night
The grandeur of nature seems to beget
The beauty in little things
The sorrow in the world
All at once emotions hit me
And my thoughts begin to be twirled

I'm writing a lot
So I want to talk about you
I could go on and on
About how 'us' is true
About how we
Should last for forever
No matter the problems
No matter the weather
No matter the goings on
No matter the fights
No matter the evil
No matter the nights
Where we don't agree
Where our different opinions
We don't seem to see
But more often than not
The way you treat me
Our smiles and laughter
Allow me to be me

And not that the sadness
Isn't me too
I just want to be happy
Because I'm with you
And when I'm not super
I know that you're there
If I ever should need you
If I ever get scared
If I ever need someone
To blot out the black
I know, no matter what
That you have my back
That you will be there
When my cards are down
When my face shows
The grimace of a frown
And you will drag
Me up by my shirt
Keeping my honest
And out of the dirt
Keeping me clean
Keeping me safe
Keeping me close
Keeping me honest
Which means the most
Because though I love you
Sometimes I lie
Not to hurt you, or anyone
Just to get by
But I don't want
Merely to get by
I want more than ever
You in my life

Your smile shines brighter
Than the sun in the sky
I would do anything
To prevent this from dying
And when I say such
I mean it as true
Meaning as much
As I hope to mean to you
Smelling your tender,
Loving, and caring person
Wafting your greatness
I'm in total immersion

The fog is leaking through the door
Creeping slowing across the floor
Coming closer, frightening me
Filling the room, I can hardly see

The fog has broken down the door
Can't escape it any more
Nothing more that I can do
Now I'm enveloped with thoughts about you

The fog has eaten away the door
I'm not getting out of this, I'm sure
Soon the fog will turn to fire
This room to become my funeral pyre

There's only fog, there is no door
Now I know what it's got in store
Suffocating, I can hardly breathe
I take a step but cannot leave

The smell of flesh lingers freshly on my wet snout
italic Don't **** me....please....God...please
I stare at this creature, curious at it's noises and mannerisms
italic Oh God.......God.....
I sink my teeth back into its leg
italic AHHHH
Its screams take me aback. No prey, you are my dinner
italic Gotta.........run........
I step back as the creature uses it's fore legs to pull itself inches
italic no..........No...........NO!
Its sound becomes as strong as its scent, piercing my ears
italic N-n-not today wolf.......n-not today God
It reaches a shiny object that hurt me. I do not like what my prey is doing
italic EH? EH? COME ON YOU *******! FINISH THE JOB YOU DEMON!
I am troubled by the noise my prey is making. The others did not put up a fight
italic COME ON!
I leap onto my prey, expecting my mouth to be filled with warm blood
italic I GOT YOU, YOU *******!
There is a pain in my stomach. I am thrown off by my prey. This is not as it should be
italic ERGRUHAHA!
The yelping noise of my prey is drowned out by my own cries of pain.
italic THAT'S RIGHT, CRY DEMON!
I pull away from my prey, and see my own blood saturating the ground
italic Ugh.....ugh....
My world is swirling around me. I fall down, and blackness envelops my vision.
italic SOMEONE! HELP ME! SOMEONE HE-

I promise I love you
But that doesn't matter
I want to be near you
But that doesn't matter
I cry myself to sleep over you
But that doesn't matter
I can't let go of you
But that doesn't matter
You don't love me
But            that                   doesn't            matter                  





Or does it?

Starting up, the engine roars
The car lurches forward hard
Way too fast for us
We both grip the door, and
Have all four feet pressed to the floor
Has our chauffeur lost his mind?
Made a petty issue into a deathly lesson?
Me, I can't say for sure
Love makes me believe that's not the case
You, not so easily convinced
More sensible and logical
Than I can be at times
I let my emotions control me more
Could this have grown out of control?
Have we made a final mistake?
Ever foolish in our words and deeds?
Hoped it wouldn't end like this, because
Baby...I don't want this ending

I'm done trying to squeeze out drops of creativity
From my beaten, abused, and exhausted mind
I try writing words on my page
But they don't even rhyme

And as I slowly feel my wither
My sinking back to dust
I wonder who I can depend on;
I wonder who I trust

Not that I don't trust you
You, I, and trust just don't mix
It's not that I'm not friends with you
This just isn't worth it to fix

And I don't mean to offend you
Because I really would take offense
If I so much as touched your ego
And caused those cracks and dents

And I'm sorry for casting the rock
I couldn't see that you are glass
How was I supposed to know
Through you my rock would pass?

Was I supposed to know
Exactly what should happen?
Maybe so or maybe not
But away from me you're passing

I don't really want to let you go
Please take that as the truth
But frankly I've had enough of you
Begone, and take your youth

Leave your Youth of awe and wonder
And take the immaturity away
I really can't be subtle anymore
I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAY

Headaches, again
Time for another desperate attempt to suppress the need
Block out the noise, drink more water
You are full.

Itching, under my skin
One piece won’t hurt, right?
One leads to many, drink more water
You are content

Jitters, distracted
The sweet aromas surround me, as if they can satisfy
Then I hear the soft grumble, drink more water
You are determined

Smoke, filling my mind
Replacing all that’s been lost in this fight
Another cigarette, drink more *****
You are forgetting

Concentrate, use your tongue
Pleasing him has become more important than bread
A little longer, drink more water
You are empty

Bliss, almost free
I feel like a kite that’s been let loose on a windy day
Eat everything in sight, drink a coke!
You are guilty

Shameful, but act happy
Holding his hand, no thanks, I ate already
Change the topic, drink more water
You are hiding

Pressure, stubborn
He knows my lies, pushing some carrots my way
Chew nervously, drink more water
You are weary

Laughing, releasing
No dessert in this world could compare to how he makes me feel
Bring me closer, drink me in
I am full.

Ah the way this feels
To be a part of us
And I know I'm just a part
Act One in a Broadway play
Special in my own right,
But not ever complete
Without Act Two

I've never felt this way before
The way a child feels with ice cream
The way a chemist feels with a mol
The way a Christian feels with Jesus
All of them combined
To make my heart swell
Bigger than the Grinch's
On Christmas Day in Whoville

And because it's grown so big
I can't help but to share it
Because it's like the best milkshake in the world
Two straws are necessary
And how this has come to be
Took my more than by surprise
Almost as if someone dissected my thoughts
And produced someone perfect
To more than cancel out the negative past

Although my face doesn't always smile
Know that through my frown,
That though my tears stick to my cheeks
Inside, the smile's still there
Because, see, it can't be switched
It can't be turned upside down
And even though I know it's hard
To see past my tears and frowns
Please know that it is there
Underneath everything else

It's like the embers of a roaring fire
Red hot, like the Chili Peppers
Inextinguishable, a passion so strong
And also reaching out forever
Like a line on a circle
Wrapping round and round
Like an infinite slinky
And like that slinky that goes on
That I could never get bored of playing with
That I could forever push down the stairs
And rush to the top, more excited than ever

This feeling, here in my heart
Means the world to me
I've learned so much from it
I've learned what it means
I've learned what love truly is
I've learned what smiles are made of
And learning a lot from this lesson
Seeing both the good and bad
Just makes the feeling stronger
To have the smile again

And this poem would have no purpose
If I didn't mention that I thought
That it could never be this way
That two could feel so much like one
While still being two
While letting us do us
Like smashing the ball out of the park
Farther than any home run before
And more powerful than a cannon's blast

And though I know that maybe
At sometime yet to come
My smile may not be as easy to see
I will know, as I know now
That smiles never fade
That they only hide close to the heart
Waiting for a chance to shine again
Like sunset's final wink before night

All of this is to say
I really really enjoy each day
I wouldn't want it any other way
I wouldn't want a thing to change
Together, things are never strange
And thinking about you makes me think
That this kind of ship could never sink

The world is crazy inside my mind
Tall towers crumble to my will
The right words I seem to always find
To the ******* my window sill

The great mountains before me sink
And I rise tall above them
To distant planets, I bow and drink
Until I choke and cough up phlegm

I stagger back towards my earth
All things around me are growing
The help I need, here is dearth
A fact that the dead die knowing

The world is crazy inside my mind
I shan't ever go there again.

When you jump, think of me
Not before
Savor that feeling of life
And then think about the dying as you are

When you step, think of me
Not before
While the rope is set up
And the chair's underneath
Because my harsh words are wrapped around your neck

When you pull, think of me
Not before
When you're buying ammo
When you're setting up the tarp
But for the split-second of your short life
I deserve to be in your thoughts

When you die, I'll be thinking of you
Of our love
Of the past
And I'll join you, wherever you are
Because Hell's okay with me if you're there

It didn’t mean for it to go
This far into the dark
I didn’t want the friendship glow
To be extinguished in that way

But I could not take anymore
The way that you behave
Your lies hurt like an open sore
All I wanted was to save

I wanted you to trust me
Just like friends should do
I just wanted you to see
How much I trusted you

But your words reflected a deeper thing
Something I’ve seen before
Something I wished never again to bring
To let into my door

And now the friendship glow
Is shut out completely
I just want for you to know
It really hurt me deeply

You say I should be unashamed
I should proclaim on high to all
About the Man, the God, who saved us
And I should devote my life to him.
But see, you twisted serpent of Scripture
You're reaching for the apple
And I, like Newton, merely observe
As you, and the apple, fall
I don't claim to be better than you
Because I'm not in any way
But neither are you.
I'm embarrassed to say I follow Jesus Christ,
I mean, Jesus Christ, have you seen the others?
The self-righteous ones who picket the streets
With their crosses held aloft
Meant to guilt trip the masses into faith.

For all the Christians:
Speak your faith, don't scream it
Because the more you try to force it
The less Christian you become.

I'm unashamed of Jesus.
I'm ashamed of those who claim to follow him.

Wading through the crisp moonlight
I saunter to your door
Searching for the answer, to make things right
But you don't want me anymore
Caught up in the life of thrills
Refusing to settle down
To be honest, it makes me ill
To see you getting around
I respect your decision
Though I don't agree
I guess that's just the difference
Between you and me

The Journey winds down the lonely Road
Flanked on the sides by Spirits
Recognizing the faces nearest
They stuff my backpack, add to my Load
In their countenance is where their fear is

Starting out, weak dumb and small
With no mind for allegory
See the winding Road before me
In this beginning, I have to crawl
In this humble beginning, I begin to see

Standing now on my own two feet
Toddling down the road
Now I'm in exploring mode
Hoping for someone nice to meet
Hoping for a special Someone nice to know

Getting stronger, day-by-day
Trying to conceive the end of it all
Hoping my missteps don't make me fall
Wondering what Price I'll pay
Lost deep in introspective thought; my mind's enthralled

Now I pause along my path
Knowing I'd have to find some meat
Seeking this one special treat
Sneak away to divert His wrath
I look eagerly for a baker to entreat

The glowing Angels guard the sacred Ground
Forcing me to cut short my break
Showing, not telling, my mind to stay
A breathless whisper without a sound
That breathless whisper said all they needed to say

Now strong and tall and unperturbed
I wonder what lies beneath
The Road spans o'er what's underneath
I let my mind wander, undisturbed
And wonder about the secret hidden heath

Wiser now but youthful still
Talk and research of subjects profound
None of which fail to confound
Waiting patiently, I walk with Time to ****
While words of thoughts buzz lazily around

No longer Young but I am not old
My appetite for destruction, curbed
My longing now for just a Word
The One that can be forever untold
But only Once does It need to be heard

I am old now and growing weary
I see now the end of the Road before me
Winding up to those Benevolent Three
As I draw closer, my eyes with old age, bleary
I heard them say 'I love you dearly'
And slipped into Their Grace.

Perpetually ******, peeved and put-out
                        Cocked my cans back to give them a clout
                        Surrounded by slithering serpents suffocating my shout
                        Asking angry ******* what their apathy is about

Longing for her luscious locks to be locked with a look
Burgeoning, bumbling, believing love's broken book
Tired of the teasing, I take what I've come to took
Nestling near, cradling only my pillow in my arm crook

                              *******, *******, **** right you're going down
                              Fixing your ******* face into a freckled frown
                              Grouchy and greedy, I gasped seeing her gown
                              Hungry and *****, I can't leave the scent, like a hound

              Where was 'we' written in the wedding
              Roaring raucously, I rip off her ring
              Zealous, jeaous, I zag away from my zig
              Can't you cantankerous ***** see I want to be **KING

I once thought of Christmas
As a time of cheer and laughs
A time when family rounded together
Life has made my cynical

Now I see Christmas
As the adulterated holiday it is
**** presents, I'm broke
**** family, I'm ostracized
**** this, I look to Jesus
****, I'm wrong

I try to find the 'reason for the season'
But the harder I look, the more hardened I become
I want it to mean something again
Just like it used to when I was 10
But never again
Will I wish for Santa to come
Will I get excited for presents
Will I scrape together my piggy bank to please those that snub me
Will I regain what I've lost

I search for answers in my girlfriend
Reassured that our love will save me
From this cynical, unholy matrimony that I'm caught in
I'm Henry the 8th now,
I want a divorce
I want the love of Christmas again
I want to believe that this is all for Jesus
I want to think that I love him above all
But I don't, and I won't
Until I release this inner anger and angst

I'm forcing an annulment
I'm playing my hand
I'm trying so hard to fit in
But I realize, there's no way I can

As I lay here
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than NASCAR
And closer too
While I'm laying here,
I'm thinking of you

As I sit here
In class again
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than a speeding bullet
And harder too
While I'm sitting here,
I'm thinking of you

As I lie here
The truth seems to evade my words
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than my beating heart
And full of emotion too
While I'm lying here,
I'm thinking of you

As I draw the curtains
On another sarcastic day
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than you dumped me
And more hurtful too
While I'm drawing curtains
I'm closing off from you

Tie up that snake
Make sure it's tight
Stand on the chair
Give up the fight
Take your last breath
And end it for good
Jump off the cliff
The noose clamps down, as you knew it would
Drift there hanging
Ending your life
No more will it be paining
Your thoughts tonight

Wake up late and sleep early
Everything's the same
Same salty taste
Same boring place
Same frustrating video game

Wake up early and sleep late
Everything's the same
Same Netflix show
Same footsteps below
Same flickering of the flame

Wake up and sleep
Everything's the same
Same **** routine
Same depressing scene
Same struggling to reclaim

Wake up and
Everything's the same.

Hush now child, it'll all be fine
I'm right here, right by your side
Here's where I always hope I'll be
Wrapped in arms of a lover who loves me

Hush now darling, it'll be alright
I'm fighting hard with demons of the night
But all for you, and never in vain
I'll fight forever, for I've so much to gain

Hush now baby, I'm here with you
I hope that nothing gets between us two
I hope our love can go on and on
And I'll wake up next to you each and every dawn

Hush now dear, they're coming near
Stay low and wait until till it's clear
I'll signal when we can keep going
Crouch down, leave nothing showing!

Hush now, I'm through with listening
Looking at you, my eyes glistening
You were the last suspect in this crime
And now I realize we never had time

A mind is a terrible thing to waste
A mind can bring you to new heights
A mind can show you the right way
A mind can be creative, and interesting

A mind can be evil, filled with sour thoughts
A mind can imagine destruction, and revel in it
A mind can bring the world to an end
A mind can ****

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

Drifting through life
Like a bottle in the ocean
Only with me there's no note
What you see is what you get
And unfortunately that's not much
Although I try not to regret
In my mind that idea is crushed
What if game is played
My confidence is rent
I don't know
If I like what I've become
A feeble mouse
Still ******* on its thumb
Fostering no respect
Because I don't have any for me
Yet at night I sit *****
With my hands on my knees
How do I live in a world so different?
How do I die when I'm scared?
People flash before me as acquaintances
Friends, if any, aren't there
Try to be
What people expect
I ******* hate
When myself I try to correct
But still I carry forward
With this self bashing nonsense
Turing my attention toward
Those who seem to be against

We're two trees in a forest.
We are unique, but the temptations of conformity surround us every day.
We choose instead to reach for the stars, our canopy thick because our trunks are close together.
We may be two, but we are one.

I want you to know
What you mean to me
You're the whole show
And not just a scene

I want to watch
As we grow stronger
I want us so badly
To last longer than longer

And I know you know
How I feel about you
And I hope I show
You that I want to marry you

Because though I
Know now's not the time
I want it so badly
I want you to be mine

And I don't want you to think
That I don't think I'm yours
I don't want you to sink
Crying, on all fours

I want you to understand
The feelings within me
Because feeling them with you,
Well, they set me free

And that is to say
That you make me free
Not just for yesterday
But for as long as I can see

And though I realize
That we may not last
I've done my very best
To learn from the past

To treat you nicely
And respectfully too
I feel that's the least
I can give to you

Because when you smile
The world is right
And when you're sad
I stay awake at night

I try to think
Of what I can do
To make it better;
Your life, and mine too

We have a connection
Like twins from a womb
Able to talk through
Whatever we need to

And that means more
Than you could know
If I was with you,
I'd take ten years of snow

I'd bear the hard
And the boring life
If I could have the chance
To call you my wife

And that's not to say
That I want decisions soon
That I need an answer
By tomorrow afternoon

But it is to say
You mean so much to me
And honestly, when I think of it
There's no one with I'd rather be

I hope this makes
Your heart swell up
But I don't need it to
Your love is enough

Lonelier than wind at night
Sitting there, in the light
A man looks down
His face a frown
Sighing because he's
Lonelier than wind at night

Long ago he felt the love
Those feelings out of his mind he shoves
Doesn't want to feel the pain
Doesn't want it . . . not again
Memories float 'cross his mind
Lonelier than wind at night

I see him there, full of grief
To see this torture is beyond belief
I want to save
He wants to stave
Wants just to be left alone
Lonelier than wind at night

He walks down the street
Not wishing with anyone to meet
He ducks his head
He'll soon be dead
Pulls the trigger,
Click,
For he has become
Lonelier than wind at night.

The words used to describe you
Don't matter to me
I know who you are
I know where you're from
I know what you're like.
These people don't know you like me
They haven't obsessed themselves to you,
In other words, I know you better
Inside and out.

Inside
You're beautiful
You're a caring friend
You're a friendly person
You look out for other people
You love to sing
You love your family
You love your friends

Outside
You're beautiful
Your face is soft, begging to be held
Your eyes, gentle and inviting
Your lips are smooth, caressing
Your body is perfect;
Healthy, and gorgeous

Which one of these descriptions
Fits the name you wear?
None of them
Reflect the opinion of the describers.

So don't be sad
And don't me mad
Just let ignorant people be
They want you to be a certain way
It's up to you to prove them wrong

I'm here for you
I always will be
I'll be your armor
When these sticks and stones are thrown at you
And I'll be your slingshot
When you fire back
And I'll be your hammock, and teddy bear
When the world's too much and you need to cuddle
I won't let you face it alone
I love you

A love that was lost
May yet be found
Please when you cry
Make not a sound
Stand strong with your feelings
And rise up to the call
When you're thinking things
Please don't let your world fall
I'm not changing my views
At least not now
But I'm starting to see cues
That this will all work out somehow

When poetry comes easily
Emotion wells inside of me
It's hard for me to stop

My rhymes all run
Like an unloaded gun
Waiting for the pop

And soon I see
What they've done to me
Pushed me toward the top

I don't quite care
Inside, I'm scared
Rhymes for bullets are swapped

I could never be
Your one and only
That fantasy must be dropped

You'll never know
I'll never grow
My roots and stem are chopped

Believe me truly
And trust in me
I wish I could just stop

Poetry shouldn't make you sad
Or bring you to your knees
It's not always about something bad
A fact few choose to see

Poetry should be pure happiness
A candle in dark night
Not that Poetry's always bliss
But not quite so dark as bright

Poetry shouldn't be your pain
The source of all your woes
It shouldn't blot your sunny days
Not send you sinking to a place below

Poetry should be your armor
What reflects away the hurt
Will the metal get dented? Sure
But Poetry's a friend that won't desert

Poetry should be your crutch
What you use to cope
Poetry can mean so much
Poetry is hope

Poetry should draw you close
Like a warm fire and blanket in cold
Comforting when you need it the most
A voice when yours isn't so bold

Poetry is a magical thing
Because it's much more than lines
It's the emotions that from those words spring
That makes a poem fine

Poetry is not just for sad;
It is for happy too
I hope this poem's made you mad
Now you can write some too!

How can it be
That I can be happy?
I was deathly distraught
Hope was gone, I thought
And you appeared out of the gloom
To start something that'***** full bloom
You plucked me up from the lowest of lows
How long it'll last, neither one knows
But the future of us
Won't cause me to fuss
Because if I'm with you
My love, babe, is true
Letting you in helped me
Finally, after this long time, become free
I may not owe you my life
Still I want you as my wife
Because I could be much worse
I could be in the trunk of the hearse
And I don't say that lightly
And I dream of you nightly
And my former love
Has been replaced with a dove
You have completed me
My one, and only, baby