Eve took in the sent of darkness mixed with the light breeze pooling from the open bedroom window. Her restless child laid beside her squirming occasionally letting out whimper of dissatisfaction.

"Just go to bed, just go to bed."  

She repeated to her baby as irritation bubbled to the surface of her reality ravishing all other emotions stirring inside. Sam began to crawl to the edge of the bed then tuning around to slide off feet first the way his mother had taught him. When his feet touched the floor Eve caught him by the hand gently pulling him back into the bed. Sam began to cry struggling to break free from his mothers loving embrace. While praying in her mind Sam would just give in and fall asleep she began to sing his favorite lullaby holding him close. The frustrated toddler was determined to stay awake despite his mothers praying. He kicked his legs, shook his head, resorted to biting his warden. When Eve felt her sons teeth imprint on he breast she let out a horrendous echo of pain. She slapped down on the toddlers thigh only hard enough to stun Sam into releasing his clenched teeth. Sam cried profusely while his mother nursed the impression left by Sams baby teeth. She felt terrible after the pain resided. She cuddled Sam running her fingers through his hair. Singing she told the toddler,

'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when sky's are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away.'

She patted his back until silence was in the air. The corners of her mouth shifted into a smile at the spinning memory that began to manifest in her mind. Matt sat on his sisters bed watching Eve put on her make up. Blue eye shadow to match her shirt, black eyeliner her signature look. She fashioned every strand of hair into waves of curls. Eve watched Matt through the mirror. She loved how he looked at her with his pleading eyes in a trance completely lost at the sight of her. No one ever looked at her or made her feel the way he did.

"Why are you in here?", she asked.

Unsure how to reply he lied saying,

"Just waiting around to see if you wanted to smoke when you finished."

"I'm finished now, lets go."

Eve lead, Matt followed. They stepped outside, Eve lit the cigarette inhaling then passed it to Matt.

"When is Julie picking you up?" , he asked gently.

"Midnight, that's when the dance is over.", she answered with a smile.

"What, you don't like to dance?"

"Nope, just the after party."

Eve looked up at the stars amazed at the clear sky allowing every radiant star in sight to shine brilliantly.

Matt wore his sincerest look, swallowed, then spoke in his softest voice,

"Your beautiful."

Still gazing at the stars she heard him and her heart sank sending flutters through her body. For the first time she was unsure how to respond to him.

"Yeah they are.", she said pretending she misunderstood what he had said.

Tears surfaced in her eyes pulling her from the memory.

He still thinks i believe he was referring to the stars.

She laughed at her thought.Eve's next decision would impacted her for the rest of her life. There was absolutely no way she could have ever known what would follow an action of hers as thoughtless as breathing resulting in chaos. By sunrise two things would become a permanent truth in her existence. 1. She would forever blame herself for allowing Sam to stay awake that fate altering night. 2. She'd regret leaving the pacifying safety of that bed.

Jake had just turned the corner of the bedroom leaving Eve behind with all his proclaimed love he had professed to her. He grind-ed his teeth as her words swam in his mind. He could still hear her say,


"No, i don't want you. I will never accept you now or ever."


Tears welled in his eyes spilling over and down his cheeks. He looked up as he entered the living-room. He spotted Matt sitting there in the recliner closest to the window facing the television in the dark. The light the television gave off made the living-room flicker in an eerie way. He felt his emotions building, anger, hatred, love, lust, then hatred again. He stood still for second watching Matt as he let anger explode into rage with in him.


Matt had been there laying next to my Eve.

He thought while envy followed  jealousy consuming him.


How could she prefer him to me? He's nothing but a boy, worthless and pathetic.

The thought made a smile appear on his face. Laughter began to build past his rage and a faint chuckle found its way past his lips and Matt turned in his recliner to face him. To Jake's amusement he saw in Matt's eyes feelings that matched his own. Jake's smile grew causing flames of rage, disgust, envy and jealousy to die down. Now those feelings were replaced by satisfaction, serenity and joy. Oh the joy he felt seeing Matt's rage stir deep inside. It was then he decided to befriend the boy.

Matt is young and impressionable, he could easily be used against Eve. If she doesn't want me then she will suffer.

While he thought silently to himself he noticed Julie waving to him. Past the kitchen the back door was open, she stood in the doorway still motioning him to walk over to her. He glanced  over at Matt noticing he had his hands balled into fists. He wondered if Matt actually had the courage to attack him. He flashed another smile at Matt before turning into the kitchen making his way toward Julie. He knew what she wanted and she was going to get it. Jake patted the pocket he had his ******* in reassuring himself it was still there.

Matt opened his eyes when he felt the shift in the bed. He turn towards Eve frozen he watched Jake kissing what was suppose to be his. Eve laid there as Jake kissed her. With heartache accompanied by disbelief Matt regained his ability to react but instead he left the comfort of the warm bed. Just then Eve slapped Jake.


Typical, now that  she sees i'm awake she goes into defense mode. **** she always doing this, ******* with my head. God your such a ******* ****, Eve!


He left the room quickly making his way to the recliner. His head was pounding feeling the need of destruction rise with in him. Unwilling to give into the desire he settled his sights on the television. He turned it on flipping trough the channels and raising the volume wanting to drown out the sounds he knew would shortly follow from what he had witnessed. He covered his ears refusing to hear her moans penetrate his heart as Jake penetrated her.


She would, that *****. Just give herself to another man, another man who isn't me.

As the unfamiliar voice floated unclear from the man on the television to his ears he remembered the first time he had laid eyes on Eve. He was with his cousin visiting  his sister at her friends house. Matt and his cousin were entertaining with their playful rough housing.  He had his cousin in a head lock about to take him down when she stepped out from behind the bedroom door. Her eyes met his and he stood still. She flashed a smile at him as he unsuccessfully tried to do the same. He hadn't even realized his cousin had escaped his grasp. He felt the corners of his mouth begin to turn up into a smile and she turned her attention to the right of him. It was then he knew he was going down. He hit the ground hard feeling the vibration pulsing from the ground beneath him where his back made impact. He quickly rolled to his stomach rising up on his knees and hands. He looked up at Eve, she was laughing, her eyes where lit and he was in awe. Her expression change  to match the feeling of the impact of his cousin lunging himself up in the air and crashing down on his back. Matt's cheeks filled with heat as he focused in on his cousin. He pinned him down then scanned the room for Eve, but she was gone. The memory faded with a crash that startled him. He looked around the room then realized the noise had come from the television. He turned it down, way down deciding he wanted to hear if she would dare **** him in his sisters bed. He sat in the recliner balling his hand into fists waiting, listing for the faintest of sounds from Eve. Moments later he heard a distorted laugh and turned his upper body in its direction. Jake stood there staring back at him with smug amusement plastered on his face. Matt's already tense body began to flare engorged muscles. He was ready to take him when Jake sent a smile at him. Matt could feel his blood boiling, pounding, rushing through his veins reaching his heart quivering in anticipation waiting for the slightest movement in his direction. He studied Jake.


What does Eve see in this ******? He cant be that great, its only been five minutes. I'll bet she'll be on to the next guy by tomorrow, or back to Derek. Ah ****!


Images of Sam's father plagued Matt.


She ******* knows i hate Derek.

Flashes sparked in his eyes and he played the memory's tune. They had been arguing on the front porch while Matt's little brother ran circles around them.


"If you ever let Derek come over here, ill kick his ******* ***!" ,Matt informed Eve.


"Whatever Matt! He's Sams father and if he wants to see his son, he's gonna." , she countered.

Matt bounced up and down with anger. Eve dismissed his primitive dance and went inside. Matt blinked escaping the memory, fixating his eyes on Jake. Jake turned his attention down the kitchen then back at Matt. Matt narrowed his eyes when Jake dared another smile at him before going into the kitchen. The destructive desire with in him ignited and he beat his fists into the arm rests of the recliner. Shortly after Eve appeared.

"Where's your sister at?" , she asked.

"*******, you hateful *****, ******* ****." , he said in a whisper.

"What?" , she said.

Matt was over flowing with the urge to devour her with hateful slurs. He slightly turned his head to her refusing to look at her directly.

"How should i know, maybe she's with your boyfriend." ,he said.

"What's you problem Matt?" , she questioned him.

Matt took pleasure in the irritation in her voice and retaliated with, "You should know."

"Whatever Matt." , she sneered at him.

As Eve entered the kitchen Matt inhaled and swallowed his breath. He fought the desire to slap the **** out of Eve. Matt bathed in relief when he saw Eve out of the comer of his eye a few seconds later. She walked by heading to the bedroom with Sam and a bottle. She looked his way only to see his eyes piercing her with a glare. She tilted her head up at him calling him out on his **** and stuck her tongue out at him before she disappeared into the room. With that his jealousy was extinguished.

Eve awoke to Jake knelled at her bedside, kissing her with a disparate force. Rough with his hand on her ******* and delicate with his pressing lips on hers. However, Eve was not fascinated by his actions. In fact she was quite offended. She had never gave Jake the idea it was okay to touch her, let alone kiss her awake or sleeping. But here he was groping her ******* and forcing the on going kiss. As quickly as her eyes opened her hands were at rejecting Jake. Eve slapped him while yelling,
"What makes you think you have my permission to kiss me while i'm sleeping, if you don't have it when i'm awake."
Jake smiled and shook his head, then traded glances with Eve and the floor. A faint giggle escaped his lips as he moistened them with tip of his tongue. He looked straight into Eve's eyes then said,
" I didn't need your permission."
Taken back by his statement she glared with hatred at him. He continued speaking,
"Eve you know i love you. You know i want you, but if you don't accept me now i will never beg you again."
She studied him carefully. His smoldering black curls resting on his cheeks. His smile faded then disappeared, straight and serious. His brown eyes glazed with tears, still searching and begging for a sign of acceptance. She felt such pity for him, he was incapable of understanding she did not want him. Sure he was attractive muscular and fit, but he was also arrogant and crude. Something she just did not take to. Eve swallowed her fear of angering him. With a firm even tone she gave her answer,
"No, i don't want you, i will not accept you now or ever."
His eyes changed instantly filling with rage. He punched the bed then grabbed her wrist pulling her close, tightening his grip.
"I can take care of you and your son better than anyone. You both will never want for anything, just say yes", he insisted.
"Let go of me Jake, i don't want you", she replied through clenched teeth.
He held his grip watching her then releasing her with new found disgust for her. He rose to his feet and turned towards the door. Taking each step slowly as if he was still clinging to hope that she'd change her mind and call out for him. Eve nursed her wrists where his grip had been. She watched the finally hint of his shadow disappear out the bedroom door.
"Well that was creepy", she said to herself.
Just then her son who had laid sleeping beside her in the middle of the bed let out a wail. He sat up rubbing his eyes and cried. Eve sighed,
"Oh great so much for sleeping."
Eve left the warm inviting bed. She scooped her son into her arms placing him off to the side so he could wrap his legs around her. Sam whimpered at her. In her mothering voice she told him,
"Hush Sam i'm going to get you a bottle just as fast as i can move."
Turning out the door of the bedroom and into the living-room she spotted Matt sitting in the recliner with his eyes fixated on the television.
"Where's your sister at?", she asked Matt.
He mumbled under his breath. Unable to make out his response she said,
"What?"
His head slightly Turned towards her but his eyes did not.
"How should i know, maybe she's with your boyfriend.", he snapped at her still refusing to properly look at her.
"Whats your problem Matt?", she questioned him.
"You should know.", he said rolling his eyes.
Eve tried to calm her hungry distraught son as she replayed the uncomfortable conversation with Jake in her mind. There it was, gone unnoticed at the time. But now it was so clear, Matt had been sleeping in the bed with her and Sam. She recalled the shift in the mattress when Matt had left it. His shadow sliding past her as she slapped Jake. How much did he see? Had he watched as Jake kissed her?
"Why Didn't Matt stop Jake from kissing me?", she thought.
Displeased by the memory and her thoughts she rolled her eyes and rudely said,
"Whatever Matt."
Had he defended her or stayed he would have known Jake's advancements towards her were unwelcome. She left the living-room entering the kitchen to fetch her sons bottle already prepared in the frig.
Eve headed towards the bedroom with her now content son. As she passed the living-room she noticed Matt's glare and reaction to hers. She stuck her tongue out at him. Matt inhaled deeply before returning his attention to the television. Eve climbed into bed with her son hoping he'd fall back asleep. After 45 minutes it was clear that was not going to happen.

NEVER FREE, NEVER ME, NEVER KNEW... I SHOULD HAVE SEEN
NEVER FREE, NEVER ME, THIS IS THE WAY IT HAS BEEN
AND SO THEY HAVE TAKEN THIS HEART
THAT ONCE LOVED ALL WITHOUT HESITATION
UNTIL ALL THAT IS LEFT
PURE BLACK BITTER DEPRESSION
UNFORGIVEN THIS HEART OF MINE
BLACKENED BY THE HATRED OF OTHERS
STAINED WITH TEARS IT HAS CRIED
THIS HEART HAS BEGGED, HAS PLEADED
FOR PEACE, FOR FORGIVENESS
NO PEACE SHALL BE GRANTED
NO REMORSE SHALL BE SHOWN
FOR IT IS UNFORIVEN BY ALL WHO HAVE KNOWN
THE DEEP DARK SECRET THAT IS HOLDS
CONTAINED; FOREVER HIDDEN, FOREVER JUDGED
BY THE ONES... THE VERY ONES IT HAS LOVED
UNFORGIVEN THIS BROKEN HEART OF MINE
NEVER FORGIVEN AS THE YEARS WENT BY
NEVER FORGIVEN POINTLESS THE TEARS IT HAS CRIED
NEVER FORGIVEN FOREVER DRILLED IN MY MIND
UNFORGIVEN AND EVEN ON THE DAY THAT IT DIED


Yesenia Acevedo

OFF IN THE DISTANCE
A FADED MEMORY STILL REMAINS
HIDDEN DEEP WITHIN THESE VEINS
FLOWS THE WICKED DROWNED IN SHAME
MAKING HER WAY THROUGH THE HOLY
AS IF THEY DIDN'T KNOW THIER OWN DEMONS
STARING THEM IN THE FACE
DISGUISED THEY STAND TALL BEHIND THE CROSS
RIGHTEOUS AS THEY BE... I SAY
GO ON CAST THE FIRST STONE
WHEN THE DUST SETTLES
PAY ATTENTION
YOU SEE ME?
I STAND TALL ALL ALONE


Yesenia Acevedo