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  Apr 2014 Yael
Marly
darling, please eat.
Yael Apr 2014
I have three and a half dark-haired fellows of ardor

The first
Plays guitar like an angel does a harp
Watches the same nerdy tv shows as I do
His smile lights up any room.

The second
Is the star of drama class
Is one of the friendliest guys I know
His smile lights up any room.

The third
I dont talk to much
My friend fancies his too
His smile lights up any room.

And the half...
He broke my heart long ago
But I somehow find myself thinking of him late at night, when all is quiet and dark
His smile lights up any room.
Idk...
Yael Apr 2014
Warm night air
You hold me tight
Summer breeze
I shiver, but from shock
You give me your sweater

Between kisses
You say I'm
Beautiful
Perfect
No one matters but me
And I believe you

I want more of you
All of you
To be mine

I stand on my tip-toes to reach your lips
Pink
Soft
Perfect
And your tongue grazes mine

We pause for air
Then pull eachother closer
And resume kissing
Only more feircely this time

I almost whisper i love you...
Good thing I don't...

The next day
We were too awkward to talk
Or even look at eachother
You didn't even say 'good morning'

The day after that
You asked me to dance
But I was still confused
And made excuses to leave

The day after that one
I was finally ready to face you.
I was expecting grandiose declerations of love
Only to receive
"You're not even that pretty"
"You're so hard to read"
"Nothing can happen between us"
And my heart shatters

First kiss...
The affair is heaven
The aftermath was hell
This is kinda a personal one, but then again they all are...
Yael Apr 2014
A while ago,
I looked at a picture of me as a baby,
Being help in my father's arms,
Like a blanket of safety.

The child smiles up at the dad,
New eyes full or wonder,
You'd never believe,
Her happiness would plunder.

The father looks down at her,
With eyes full of love and hope,
You'd never believe,
They'd come across anything with which they couldn't cope.

He had two other daughters,
And was exited for the third,
Over his three little girls,
There was nothing he preferred.

He looked at her like she was his everything,
His sun, moon, and stars,
But since then, my friend,
We have come quite far.

As I looked at this picture,
I sobbed and wiped a tear from my eye,
For to say she stayed perfect,
Would be an outright lie.

As I cried I whispered apologies over and over,
For now I doubt that he still loves her.

Dad, I'm so sorry,
The last thing I meant in the world,
Was to **** up so bad,
And hurt your precious little baby girl.
When I say that I want to die,
I don't mean that I want to leave
My friends and family.
I mean I want all the bad parts of myself to be killed.
I'm tired of the nightmares,
The confusion.
The loneliness,
The depression,
The anger...

I want all of it gone.
I can put it away,
I can hold it inside,
I can pretend to be good
And happy
And sane.
But when it comes down to it,
I'm all bad things underneath.
And even though I try to make myself
Good...
The bad things always come right back to the surface,
I can't escape,
And oh my god.
I want to die
Yael Apr 2014
Spring, spring
Its my favourite thing!
The sun shines and the birds spread their wings.

Spring, spring
to this weather I want to cling
For I hate the frigid, cold wintery sting

Spring, spring
I feel like a kid on a swing
Happier than a woman receiving an engagement ring

Spring, spring
It makes me want to sing
Because of the hope in my life that it does bring
I just really like spring. **** winter
Yael Apr 2014
you don't know someone
not truly
not even your best friend.
you think you do but you don't.
you think they tell you everything,
because you tell them everything,
but they don't.
you read the words of the poems they spew out at 3 am
and you're left wondering what brought about those words.
you want to hold them
and ask them about those words of
depression
anxiety
sadness
suicide
distrust
but you know they wont tell you.
you want to make sure they know you love them
and they are dear to you
but you don't know how.
today i learned i don't truly know my best friend
after reading her words
but how can i make her trust me enough to open up to me?
how can you know someone?
babe you know ** you are. I love you <33

— The End —