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You decide
What you want to achieve
What you want to love
What you want to dream

You choose
Who you want to be
Who you look up to
Who you have in your life

You determine
How you think
How you feel
How you live

You establish who you are
You control your own life
Embrace yourself
And have the courage to exist
Carte blanche - noun \ˈkärt-ˈbläⁿsh, -ˈblänch\
"Permission to do something in any way you choose to do it"
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Rizza
I never really thought that
I would feel like this again.
Every time I think about you,
I get lost in the moment.
Butterflies in my stomach
My heartbeat quickens

It has been a long time
since I have felt this way,
And I was close to forgetting
How beautiful this is.

Now, every love song I hear
Makes me think about you,
Every pen and paper I hold
Makes me write a poem for you,
And every person I see
Makes me wish it was you.

I was close to giving up
On finding someone
To make me feel this way again
And then I met you.
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Samiha
My beautiful blue skein of yarn,
Here in my bag you sit,
I'd love to pick you up to knit,
If only for a bit.

But clothes need washing and babes need baths,
And food needs cooking too,
Besides, I'd have a hard time choosing,
What to make of you.

You see, my stitches were not even,
My gauge, no one could guess,
My beautiful blue skein of yarn,
You would not have been impressed.

But oh how I've practiced, how I've improved,  I'm sure you'll find it so,
My stitches fly right off my needles and sit in pretty rows.
My gauge is constant, my edges neat, now I am ready for you,
But still that nagging question comes, what with you will I do?

Maybe I will make of you a felted wooly bonnet,
And everyone would stop and gaze and cast their eyes upon it.
I'll wear you on holiday, we'll march in a parade,
I'll prance so proudly, show you off, and say, "yes, you're handmade".

Maybe I will make of you, a purse, like those I see in Vogue,
I'll put in you my favorite things, and then, we'll hit the rode!
We'll travel round the city, and everyone will see,
How beautiful and remarkable a skein of yarn can be.

Maybe I will make you gloves,
My baby's hands to cover,
And everyone who saw her'd say,
"her mother must really love her".

A hat, a purse, a pair of gloves, your beauty for all to see,
But, only if I stop and knit,
Now look what you've made of me,
Your potential's not all I see...
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Gigi Tiji
fuzzy buzzy flickering light fixtures
court me for days -
tired, unlatched
and in a daze

broken hinges hang from
untapped doorways,
painted with
shattered looking glasses
and laces overthrowing
unseen faces
crawling at ungodly paces,

blind red rages boil over
onto sentient pages to die
on unlit stages,
reeking with rows
of rotting audiences,
decomposing millions of
masterpieces.

sleepless death
undertaken,
like a sorry soul,
to a hole new level
six breaths under

reborn into a dogs tail
clenched between
it's own teeth.
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Gigi Tiji
in The way trees reach
The way they are growing
To bring life to the skies
The way our veins pump
The way they are flowing
To bring life to these eyes
The way rivers flow
The way they are going
To bring life —
You can see their intention
in their way
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Gigi Tiji
Sometimes
I'll drift
into the past
Away from all the light

The dark-
ness swells
around me fast
I can't tell left from right

Alone
I float
in what was real
Convinced that now it is

But all
these things
that I can feel
Are only that which was

Delusions of the insecure
Delusions, nothing more
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Gigi Tiji
Clicketyclick —

sickly screens,
shooting
sixty
picture-frames
per second

Tickety ticktock, rapid-fire
photon cannons,
ripping holes
through our
faces

rectangles,
riddled with anxiety ridden
read scripts

the resultant
retinal scarring

Wicketywicked, weary eyes,
dripping with serrated pixels

triple dotted,
typing-awareness indicators
create silly suspenses,
inducing temporal
dramas,
emotional
micro-traumas

every second a slice
through my,
now practically nonexistent,
patience

Am I a server,
or am I a servant?

Eyes, sunken, with
withered skin

I'm waiting for my fix

Ding-ding
Bloop!
Pinggg
Here comes the dopamine! —

—Clicketyclick
 Oct 2014 Yael Zivan
Lauren Anne
You call me darling, but:
Darling,  
do not call me by that name,
I could not bear it if I tried.
That word is a pyre, and I—
I do not know how to burn
well enough.

Until I can swallow your absence whole
and live,
I will not lay a hand on you:
You who call me out of my trembling cloak
Of skin and muscle and bones,
Into the lissome folds of that tender night
To meet you.

Until I can meet your gaze without encountering some
small death,
I will not try to hold you:
weightless one,
Who I could never quite grasp anyway.

Until I can kiss your lips and remember
Where you end and I begin
I will not get lost in you:
Constellation of nerves and veins and sinews,
Strewn across the stars.


I have tried to love,
weightlessly,
But my heart is still heavy, my dear.

And I have tried to love you,
desperately,
Without the heaviness of desire
or the desperation of need,
But I have lost all substance on the pyre
Of self-denial, for indemnity.
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