because I've been missing you lately

baby, do you love me?
even when all these thoughts are cloudy?

baby, do you love me?
because I need you. Please save me.

baby, do you love me?
* I love you very much, my one and only.

Can we go back?*
to our fort
where we hid our secrets and got every chance we could

Can we go back?
to our stage
where no matter how blinding the lights could be, you'd still stare at me

Can we go back?
to our song
where we'd dance and your eyes, god those eyes, would burn down to my heart

Can we go back?
to yesterday
where I was in your arms, drowning in your scent, feeling warmth despite the storm

Can we fast forward?
to tomorrow's morrow
where I can be with you happily without sorrow

someday I will wake up next to you.

oh my, how lovely that sounds
how warm it feels around my heart

someday we won't have to hide.

with me holding your hand as strangers pass by
with me kissing your lips without fear, without second thoughts.

someday we wont have to face the distance

we can finally be together
finally free from their grasp

**but util that someday, I'll have to bear the emptiness when you are gone, the dread of you not being around, and the pure bliss of you finally coming home to me.

my love, you are more.

you are more than the voices inside your head
telling you that
                             you
                                      are
                   ­                           not
                                  ­                    enough.

you are more than their whispers of judgment
                                                        ­                           and
                                                             ­       hatred.

you are more than the words that people tell you
about how
                          you
                               ­        should
                                                          ­be.

you are your own unique vessel

                                  and to be loved is what you deserve.

If you were here,





*God, I just wish you are.

I'm not going to lie, love.
It still hurts.
It hurts me when I remember your lies,
your alibis, you texting her that summer

It hurts me when I remember and what hurts more is that you did it in the first place
Never did I think that you would do that
Never did I think I could be hurt any more than I am, more than I've been

It led to uncertainties, insecurities and gaps
And I honestly have trouble trusting you

Yet I was a fool who was hopelessly in love with you.
Unconditionally forgiving, making amends and running back to you

I could say how I don't deserve it
I could tell you how wrong you are and how low it made me look at you

Yet here I am, loving you even when you hit that lowest point
Even when you've done more than just hurt me

Bear with me, love.
Make me forget.