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243 · Mar 2016
Over to Soon
Lexie Mar 2016
Before we became
As alive as we should be
I killed us
And took the air away
So that it would hurt less
Especially for you
Because I already know
What it is like
To not be allowed
To breathe
For you it would be painful
And fresh at that
So I never
Let us get there
For me it would be less
Because my lungs
Are already deprived
I do not seek
For your gratitude
And you
Do not ever
Have to acknowledge
Me again
So move on by
With your working lungs
It's okay not to finish
Everything you have begun
243 · Jun 2015
S.N.O.W
Lexie Jun 2015
Silent
Neglected
Orphaned
Wanton
242 · Jul 2018
Friend
Lexie Jul 2018
Maybe I'm not a good friend
And my arms are not open enough
Yet this heart still cares
Even if my lips do little of its bidding
I hope you can find rest in yourself
When you cannot find comfort in me
For you are still enough, alone
Be it I am able or not to remind
242 · Jan 2018
Addicted
Lexie Jan 2018
You tasted like death.

Such a sweet flavor
That my whole being
Craved for 'just a taste'
My tongue sticking
To the roof of my mouth
In anticipation

Just one bite
And it will be enough

Just one last bite...
242 · Apr 2014
Free Admission
Lexie Apr 2014
The key to my handcuffs broke
The water I drank made me choke
The clothes I picked are to quickly stained
The laces on my shoes never stay tied
The messy buns just fall out
The roads I drive are always dead ends
The stars don't shine for me

The door is always open
But you never come
I will always love you
But this is nothing new
The light of my city
That is never with me
The path to my heart
I lost right from the start

No velvet ropes
Of ticket takers
Just sunken chests
And heart breakers
242 · Dec 2019
Sinner
Lexie Dec 2019
Wait
As patiently
As death
And just
As quiet
For the light
To come
After the fading
Of the twilight
242 · Oct 2018
Sinner
Lexie Oct 2018
I worshiped your skin
A church to enter
A place to pray
Forever humbled
Let me honour you
242 · Feb 2014
Endless Wars
Lexie Feb 2014
The sweet smell of frozen pines
The disappointment in your eyes
I am sorry I ignored all your cries
But at my heart it's me I despise

The cold embrace of winters hug
I just don't feel it anymore no love
All I feel is the acid rain falling from above
I am a ***** urchin and you a pure white dove

The silent kiss of the wind when it blows
The beat of the drums no one knows
The secrets that only time shows
The silence of power that the water flows

I was strong with a good heart
But that is in my past
Like all good things
It was not meant to last

My words are half true
But I can't see clearly anymore
I just want to know my destiny
To see what's in store

I am afraid to dance
Maybe The Lord of change will curse me
Better to be bound with others
Then alone and free

Better to look through frozen eyes
That have to part with sight or say goodbye

A door slammed over and over again
A battle fought by foolish men
Feet running in a straight line
All of us trapped by time
241 · Dec 2018
Always, Almost Breathing
Lexie Dec 2018
It will all be well in the morning
It will all be well
Until the darkness sneaks up on me
Again
Just as I was about to breathe
241 · Mar 2016
Stay With Me
Lexie Mar 2016
I am the farthest thing from okay
A person could ever be
But I think for a little while I will make it
As long as you promise to stay with me
241 · May 2019
3:26
Lexie May 2019
I'm cold, scared
You didn't come home
240 · Dec 2018
Fulfilled
Lexie Dec 2018
I can pour myself into the world
Since you have run over in me
240 · Jan 2014
Time
Lexie Jan 2014
The dimension of time
The constrains of the clock
Constantly going tick and tock

Birds in the sky
Life in air
But set a scale
That's always there
240 · Sep 2015
The More
Lexie Sep 2015
The less we talk
        The more I feel alone

The more we talk
        The less I breathe on my own

The less we say
        The more you mean

The more we say
        The less there is between

The less we touch
       The more numb I feel

The more we touch
       The harder it is to be real

The lies we tell
        The less we sell

The lies we keep
        Are burnt into my heart

What did I do to understand your body language
Never to need to interpret
A cursed blessing to understand
I read so much into the silence of your heart beat
240 · Nov 2015
Just Want
Lexie Nov 2015
you dressed me, with your woes
undressed me, chorused by my "no's"

whatever you wanted
I guess anything goes

you never listen to my plea
all you wanted was to be in me

I wanted to swim away
there are other fish in the sea

find them and bring them
back to me

find me a key
to set me free

never a word you heard
as you took your claim

as you breathed me in fire
and doused me in pain

to enter a dark cave
my light, you extinguished

some flames burn to bright
they lose the lust inside the light

I was enough to burn
though only for one night

you kissed my back
and loved me so sweet

made it hard to stand
to walk you need feet

you were there to take
and so you took

you never came back
not so much as a look

you journeyed in me
and then journeyed on

you weren't just going
you were long gone

I will never follow
for the shame will trace

every step I walk to find
but I know not a safe place

the eyes they watch
and the eyes they see

the eyes know not
what you wrought inside me

to tear and leave
and make a throne

I was just your house
I was never your home

a chance to live free
you spilled your lies inside of me

you saw what you wanted to
you don't look, you just see

if I slapped your cheek
would you feel the pain

would know my hands
would you know my name

so much disappointment
I reserved for our after's

still sweet I remember
the sound of our laughter's

to remember the days
when we were strangers

till I found out
you were a player

I loved you then bae
but no longer I know you

when the night comes
I know not what to do

I am lost in a sea of people
without you

save me, break me
either way

what is familiar
is a price to pay

over the oceans
I could hear your voice

and as you call
I make my choice

regrets to sweet
as these painful nights

I just want love
whether wrong or right
239 · May 2014
Galaxy Lost
Lexie May 2014
The sea demons cold magic seeps into my blood
The sun warm fingers lost by love
A far embrace and distance stare
Prove it was them who lost something here
239 · May 2014
Sweet Destruction
Lexie May 2014
If I could name your steps
I would call them sweet destruction
There wake is painful as a crashing wave
And there is none left be to save
Your heavy steps fade away
But the pounding in my head only rises
And the ache of my heart is the beat of the world
My very breathe is frosted and cooled on stone hearts
But sweet destruction I blame you for walking away
239 · Mar 2016
Us?
Lexie Mar 2016
Us?
as soon as I say yes
do you realize
how fast this will go
how quickly it will die
and so I am afraid
to even begin to try
238 · Aug 2022
Next to Pluto
Lexie Aug 2022
When I say your blow
Struck me to the core
Know, I am not a soft caramel center
Not melting in your mouth
I am the center of a young star
Holding it's own in the sky
238 · Feb 2014
Dark Love
Lexie Feb 2014
Love is never easy
All magic comes with a price

I paid and you reaped
You laughed and I weeped

Its funny looking back
All I see is your trail of black

The light are out
The night seeks me now

You told the demons where to find me
You taught the ropes how to bind me

Tighter
Tighter
Just let it pull

Higher
Higher
Just let it burn

Is this just another lesson learned
238 · Feb 2023
Weightless
Lexie Feb 2023
Here I am
Standing on the edge
This thought
Binds my feet to the ledge

If I jump
The pain won’t fall with me
And, somehow the heaviest
Weight on my shoulders
Is weightless

I know
If I took that step
It’s not right
To leave you what’s left

I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt
I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt

The space you made to love me
I could never let my pain
Take its place
So when I think of fast falling
When the edge is calling
I see your face

I know you’d go with me
On the way down, down
Told me once
I’d never feel alone, alone
But, I know at the bottom
We’d go our separate ways, way
Because heaven is for angels
And those who know how to pray, pray

I stop to think
Sway a little in the wind
Kick some gravel from the edge
My ancestors are dust
My hopes are ashes
I think of you
Of the flowers we picked
In the summer fields
Every memory of you
Fills the honeycombs of my mind
With sweet, sweet syrup

I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt
I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt

And I turn away from the edge
Light as pollen in the wind
Weightless
Weightless
238 · Mar 2016
Rosary Kisses
Lexie Mar 2016
I say your name like a prayer
The last thing I sing before I die
I press the beads to my lips
And the tears I cry
238 · Feb 2016
Hold Me
Lexie Feb 2016
please
please.
hug me
I am begging you
And don't ever let me go
until we stop breathing
and the world cleaves in half
just hold me
tight
and tighter
until everything
feels alright
I don't know why
It hurts
but it does
and I am torn apart
I don't like it
Any more than you
But I cannot control
the black energy
pouring out of me like oil
like blood
and lies
choking my lungs
on their own air
catch me
catch me.
catch me!
because I am falling
and I can't find my way
its a mess
inside my head
and these feelings
run little strings
all over my mind
and thread me into shreds
of paper
and tears
I worry for you
only
because your worry for me
and fear
and afraid
drives me
I lay down
on my floor
in my head
I shut the door
to keep you all out
so I can be alone
with my selves
so you wont get hurt
but still you hear
my screams
in symphony
with the beating
of your precious heart
and my love
I let go
so I can hold on
even though
I've got it all wrong
survival is a lie
and I can't find the key
to find a way
to be set free
but I tell you
I'm fine
I shut the door
and birth the red lines
238 · Aug 2015
Paint You Away
Lexie Aug 2015
I want to paint your life away
I don't need a blank canvas
Just enough layers
To hide what is underneath
238 · Jan 2019
Tears
Lexie Jan 2019
You tassel your tears to your face
As if they were your most beautiful garments
As they drip from your chin
They become pearls around your neck
What is loss, when you felt love
And so you overflow
Lexie Jan 2014
A screen stands between us
Thin enough to break
I don't know how much more
My beloved can take

Some is real some is fake
I have to wait, for your sake

A thin veil and a curtain
It hides you from my touch
But the separation
Is to much

Part is wet part is dry
Some is truth the rest is lie

The other side is silent cold and still
This side is frozen by a witches will
236 · Jun 2015
C
Lexie Jun 2015
C
I was blind
Cuz you took my eyes
Out of the fire
You bore my demise
Soulless passion
And empty bottles
Drink back the memories
Shaken or stirred
I'd take a tall glass of water
It is preferred
235 · Mar 2016
Inbetweens
Lexie Mar 2016
we parted like a kiss
and all I wanted was a taste
of your sweet lips

we separated like two shores
and all I wanted was to reach
for your perfect hands

we cling together
for we are far apart
and I may never see

the sun rise again
235 · Oct 2017
Love
Lexie Oct 2017
There is more to a person
Than just a face
And the way her body moves

There is more to a person
Than just his suit
And the way he hold his shoulders

There is a Spirit
That is deep within them
And it is not deaf
For it hears the call

The Father knows his children
And he calls them
By the names he had given them
Because he loves them

There is the God of love
And there is no other
For one love
Is all he has for you

A fire that brings light
And warmth to all it touches
Heat to those gone cold
And it lights hearts on fire
235 · Jul 2023
Temple (pt. 7)
Lexie Jul 2023
I watch your back
Glisten in the sun
Building my church
Laying a strong foundation
For my temple
It is a labor of love

I am waiting now
To teach you my gospel
Did you see my scripture
Ink saturating scrolls
So it is written
So it is done

We are still in the middle
Unfurl me
Tender fern in spring
They are singing our chorus
Beyond the hill
Playing stringed instruments
Fiddlehead
I am not god
Or angel
Figurehead

I am the woman at the well
Bow your head
Drink from my cupped hands
Communion
This is my body
This is my bread
Sit at my table
Feast as if judgement day is here
Last supper

I will wash your feet
With tenderness
With tears
With perfume and oil
There is no shame in these 4 walls
At the alter
I say my prayers of thanksgiving
That I am no longer 40 years in the desert
Burn my offering with sweet oil
As the aroma wafts into heaven
They will know
The prophecy is fulfilled
Sins atoned
Covenant not broken

We cleanse our selves
Before we enter in
Into the holy of holies
Make our evening bed
This curtain was never torn.
Not for the dark day
Not for the cross
Not for sins since the beginning of time
Not for the body in the tomb
Not for the wailing women
Not for the spirits fading in the womb
Not for the lamb

You wash my back
With holy water
I wash yours
In the Jordan
Today’s baptism renews us
This is our small kingdom
Bathed in righteousness
We are clean in the eyes of God
235 · Jan 2016
Happy Pills
Lexie Jan 2016
I don't know
How much more I can handle
All the thoughts
In my head start to ramble
The earth is shaking
And I can't remain stable
I fall to the floor
And hide under the table

My veins course
With red hot fire flames
The longer they burn
The less I feel the pain
Please just hold my hand
So I can feel alive
Everyone's saying I failed
At least I know I have tried

Whatever you want
Please just take it away
Along with my heart
You left with it that day
I can't ask you
But  I want you to stay
Right by my side
No matter what people say

Every night I breathe
Slower than the last
Every memory part
Of a beautifully twisted past
What can I do
To try to find my own way
A road to you my friend
I would travel any day

So far way
So lost in all the confusion
Tried to win
But all along I was losing
Around my neck
So close to my heart
Imprinted in my mind
So we are never far apart

What a beautiful drug
Running through my veins
Keep it coming
Even when you drive me insane
Don't cut me off
Because then I'll feel to much
Just one drop
Is more than enough

God Lord.
I cried so many tears
Raining down
My face like all my fears
You were stripped away
And it left me alone and bare
And I was a fool
To think you would always be there

Just let me look
Please one more time
Then close your eyes
Lie, and say you are fine
If I could change
The way things could be
I'd paint a picture
Of you right next to me

What feels right
I'm told couldn't be more wrong
But I've listened
To my heart all along
Who will guide me
When I am lost and weak
Give me works
And teach me how to speak

Can I choose for myself?
Would you follow me blindly?
Don't have to look
'Cuz I know you're behind me
A shadow so solid
I could melt into it
It's a sweet torture
But I would gladly die for you

Does it make a difference
If I cry enough times
Alone in the dark
Blurring all of the lines
You fly away
On your broken wings
Your heart heavily burdened
With all of the songs that it sings

It pours out
Of me like a waterfall
Will you catch me?
When I start to fall
This is my release
It helps me to let go
No matter how far
You will always know

I Love You <3
Desperate times call for desperate words.
234 · Sep 2017
Breezes
Lexie Sep 2017
these little breezes tell me
in the whispers of your voice
that you come riding
I must only wait
for when the some comes up
it will not be alone
if I make it through the night
I will have you tomorrow
I lost my dignity
a long time ago
but I know no matter what
you will always lift me up
Not everything makes sense.
234 · Jul 2014
Butterfly Skies
Lexie Jul 2014
Butterflies in permanent marker
Each with a special name
I wish they weren't trapped to my skin
Like in a painful cage
Maybe one day, with a lighter heart
They will fly away
And find another home
On another girl's heart
But for now they are mine
Keeping me from making lines
An artists kiss to gentle dreams
233 · Oct 2022
Filtered
Lexie Oct 2022
When you touch my skin
I feel it so deeply
That the salt in my oceans
Separate from the water
233 · Mar 2023
Goodbye
Lexie Mar 2023
You have a way with words darling
What a way to say
I am the love of a life not worth living
233 · Mar 2016
Future Tense
Lexie Mar 2016
Maybe one day
I will be okay
233 · Apr 2018
A while in her shoes
Lexie Apr 2018
Grasp my jagged edges
Climb into my skin and walk around
I would caution you
Not to get to familiar
There are places even I won't go
Could you please tell me what you find
I have felt empty for ages
Whatever you find is yours
Take a piece if me with you
I will not be far behind
233 · Feb 2016
Precious Child
Lexie Feb 2016
You are my hope when I have none


My light in the deepest dark


You sing to me the truth


Like my morning star, and Lark





You are my dreams so sweet


My nights everlasting


And we shall cling to each other


While the stars are passing





You are my friend


In the cool of the dawn


You make the world right


When it is tilting into wrong





You are my sister


We bleed the same tears


You are my sword


You fight my fears





You my shadow


Holding up these walls


You hear my voice


Every time it calls
233 · Jul 2019
Ocean Eyes
Lexie Jul 2019
I'm already living in black and white
You didn't need to add salt water too
233 · May 2014
If I?
Lexie May 2014
If my heart stopped beating
Would your lungs stop breathing?
If I wasn't here
Would you even care?
If I broken my leg
Would you carry me instead?
If I kissed another man
Would that be something you can stand?
If I gave you my heart
Would you make it start?
If I died today
Would you pick me flowers everyday?
If I knew your name
Would you be the same?
If my casket cracked
Would you fill the crooked gap?
If my soul were yours
Would you be its core?
If my arms were within reach
Would you try to breach?
If I could love in this life
Would you pay love's final price?
232 · Aug 2016
Wander
Lexie Aug 2016
How can I say words
When I do not even know myself
This sunshine is wasted
On the frailness of my body

Crystals in my eyes
Scrape across my cheeks
Dragging me down
To be set in stone

So many whispers
Dancing in my head
And the secrets
Scream to be free

I cough, and my soul
Jumps through the fabric
Of the world
It is bound unto

Slaves in my bones
Work through the night
They will not die
Without cracking my heart

Shards, embedded in my hands
Hands clasped around my ankles
Ankles covered in scars of gold
Gold burned, into flames of death

Into the night they rise
Screaming for their life
As it falls to earth
To be shadowed in lies

Mysteries clouded in poor judgement
Peace shattered to pieces
Broken, like the silence
That echoes in my cage

Because all who wander
Wander alone
And not all who wander are found
Before it's to late
232 · Aug 2018
Come To Me
Lexie Aug 2018
Come to me
With your stone cold hands
Come to me
Whatever you are running from
Come to me
I willd hold you close

You feel alone
And fear your only companion

Come to me
It's okay to leave everything you know
Come to me
We will journey on
Come to me
I've been waiting for you

I'm waiting for you
232 · Feb 2014
Slide Of Hand
Lexie Feb 2014
There is a fold in my heart
An uneven crease
Like my heart
Might be missing a piece
232 · Aug 2017
Toxic Live
Lexie Aug 2017
She loved flowers
And so gave her roses

But I grew them out of my very own chest

She loved music
And so I wrote her a song

But I pulled the words from my very own soul

This toxic love

I cannot even breathe
The temperament
And all I believe
Toxic love roses abuse chest pain
232 · Oct 2021
Eve
Lexie Oct 2021
Eve
Because nature was divided in two
Each piece seeks the other half

All along the completeness was within me
My pieces are wolves, and
so the restlessness is my equilibrium
232 · Jun 2015
On This Street
Lexie Jun 2015
On this street in the house
In the walls
Over the mouse
In this house on the floor
A girl who loved
And could love more
On the floor in a her head
A demon drank
And she bled
In her head, inside her mind
She knew she would win
Cuz this demon was kind
231 · Oct 2015
Fireflies
Lexie Oct 2015
Ten million fireflies
Shine like your eyes
In the pale
Moonlight
231 · Jul 2014
Birthdays
Lexie Jul 2014
I had sixteen candles
But just one wish
I had lots of friends
And nothing to lose
I had once chance
Just one breath
But I used it and now nothing is left
231 · Nov 2015
Silk Worms
Lexie Nov 2015
Train the silk worms to crawl in formation
Over my corpse
In China, they wont of heard how I died
By a broken heart

Classic

But teach them to trace the skin on my body
Show them to dance over my frame
Let them see the effect of loss

Lead them over me
They could almost pass through me

My heart once hard
Till you made it soft
Held it together
So it wouldn't get lost

Teach them to run
Over my eyes
I will never see you again
Never journey inside your mind
Not be part
Of the moments when you are kind

Between my fingers they can sleep
Where your hands once held
Each of my own

Teach the silk worms to crawl in formation
Make me a casket of finest silk
Let them wrap me up in lace
So you can no longer see my face
231 · Oct 2016
Pissed
Lexie Oct 2016
If you leave me on read messages one more time I swear to the communication gods I will end you
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