The sky
Is soft pink tonight
As the sun slowly sets
*
It reminds me of you

I want to tell you the truth
But I fear you will not listen

I want you to understand
But I'm not sure it matters

I can't unfuck the timeline
I can't even unfuck myself

Anytime you think of me
I am with you
Once in a while
Let me cross your mind
Blue moon loss
Setting sail
Gentle tides
Of an angel lit cross

I watched
The third sun from the right
Burn up today
On my way to the lesser stars
I hold no grievances against them
Because we all
Carry our own
Abundance of light

I do not hold
The healing of time
As an absolute truth
It is the echoes of trauma
That still ring
So steadily in my ears
The beginning of my undoing
Is awakening again
It is not in my nature
To give up
Yet I am nearly gone

I hate admit it
But the balance of wisdom
Is off without your gentle touch

Will the roses
I lay on your grave
Wilt
Before they become
Petals in the wind
With my broken promises
Will these stones be skipping
On the shallow waters
When you are gone
And I begin to break

Looking to the crackling fire and say; "you have met your match."

Winter has come to me
I pray spring for you
Pastel cherry blossoms

Is anger ever satiated
Slow burn, smoking up clear skies
In the back of my mind
The ancient dance
Barefoot with the blessed beings
The magick in the trees
Is stirring
Who would stand
Between the ache of an awakening
Some thousands of years
Even angels know
The gods will return
It is only a matter of time
To the shorter wicks of life
And yet we pray
For foolish things like patience
When we are ants
To the eyes of ancients
The dust on your shoes nearly settled
Blush of the land
Do not disgrace the motherland
Will you waste your days
Painting trigger fingers on the living
Pain knows no age
Joy no companion
Your wishes to the heavens
While unanswered
Are not unheard

Maybe the silence does not deserve to be broken
But it begs to sit idly by
As we break

Seven days I watched the sun
Time holds no meaning here
Righteous as the dawn of time
Anxious for the new world
Tempting the bounds of fate
Unleash the titans again
Stratospheric in rebirth

You the hero
I the shallow

I whisper to the sky,
"I'll go."
Because I know
You will not hear me

Friends never say goodbye

How beautiful it was to know you
And now it is what I cannot forget

Rotting on the inside
Emptying the self of mourning
Gathering my pearls for swine
Roses bloomed here once
Every spring I plucked them for you
Summer is a stranger now
So it seems are you

Being your light was hard
I fed my disappointments to pyromaniacs
Itching to strike matches against your spine
Breathing, into your hair
Begging, light me up
When my light finally does fade
Remember me
As the dirt under your nails
Sprinkle it on my grave
Along with your tears
This is goodbye

I watched the glory of youth rippen
Meekly searching
For a young one
I thought I knew
I loved you then
Strange you seem to chasm eyes
Though no stronger
How fair
The lengthening of patience
And spine
Over the bridge, and with time
Plough through the fields
Of my doubting soul
The leaves of my midsummer mask
Crunch against the hand of time
Dawn has come
And I hasten to adore
The gentle glory of your awakening
Kindness and depths in your eyes
Deeper than before

We cannot truly break
If we were never whole
Nothing the innocence of angels
Or resolution of devils ever stole
As much as I try
I cannot measure out the days
We began our splitting
I thought if we ever broke
It would be an axe chopping
Straight through the trunk
Yet I did not notice when
Our roots
That had dug themselves
So deep in the soil
Began wilting
We are knowing strangers
Empty shadow
Bitter ghosts
Wandering around
The house bones of our past
Do you feel the winds here
Does it send shivers down
What you remember
To be a spine
I shouldn't of waited
Until the twelfth hour to pray
If I wrote all the words I could find
I would still be rendered speechless
And that is why
Your name is the only thing in my mouth

To romanticize it
I was your poison, kryptonite

I wanted to tell you
Of how I almost died
At the hand of another

But I guess that doesn't hold weight now

I have always believed
Those who break others
Deserve to be broken

Now here I am broken
Because of how I did you

I'm sorry
I'm so sorry

Somehow
It feel wrong
To even write about you

I'm sorry for that too
For everything

For judging you
For not listening
For breaking you
Over and over

I have been
So unbelievably blind

I guess this is what happens
When the blind lead the broken

I remember once
I told you
I would not have known
Love or healing
If it was not for you
And now it seems
I will give up both
For an eternal ache
I can't say I don't deserve it

You were always better than me
Kinder
More honest
It seems this will continue
You're better without me
Wether or not I like it
You're better without me

For more than half my life I knew you
But, I always love you
This time, from a distance
It seems I never was able
To give you the love you deserved
And I'm so ******* ******* sorry

Do you ever
Do what you think is right at the time
And by the time you figure out it wasn't
It's to late to fix it

Yours is a name I will never forget
Nor, am I likely to ever say it again

We know
We are only loved
If we are known
And that is why
We cannot bear
To be forgotten

I have loved you
Even in the time we are apart
I know it means nothing

I'm starting to feel,  again
And I've never loathed, anything
Like I do, this headspace, here, now

I think
I could start to convince myself
I don't deserve good friends

It seems
I grieve each part of my life
As soon as it is lived

We don't always keep friends
At the rate we change

I think

If I ever

Spoke

With you again

Tears would come

And they would never stop

I will drown

In that moment

Pulled under

My undoing

I am sunk

To the bottom

Of a hollow

Broken

Sea

With nothing

To resurrect me

Because only those with souls

Float

**

I didn't deserve to name you
I name myself now
Calling her liar, fool, wrong
There is no going back
I fear
I have waited to long
My muse is dry
So now are my words
Try as I might
I find myself
Unable to give up
Your memory to the void
You are my shadow ghost now
Soft scent
In the cherry blossom trees
Of spring
I know you hated the beach
But I hear your voice
In the undeniable roar of the waves
Soft echoes in the dunes
When autumn comes
The trees dry up from the inside out
I think of the sweaters we used to have
Pink hugs, and I hate myself
You will be in the first snow this winter
A cold, steady, ache
You will be in my thoughts as always
Hardened earth hands will not release me
Of your presence in my mind
I am undone
Still burdened
Still human
Still wrong
You owe me nothing, and yet I hope
Fumbling over prayers
I did not ever wish to muster from my lips
I was wrong
I am bitter, but not against you
It seems the silence in my head
Has directed me down a winding road
Here, in the spiral at the bottom
I am left looking upwards
At what one could call choices
I name them regrets
Burdens, broken promises I never thought I would be unable to keep
I do not deserve angels
And this is why I am sinking slowly in flames
That I dare not compare
To your hell

What an unbelievably heavy burden
To be human
A dead man's bones
Made music today
When the wind blew through them
How soft the song
Of a relinquished soul
You crucified the god of ego death
On a paper cross
Heavily ink stained
With the tome of your plight
So harshly blatant your motives
Time is falling
We too slip
Knowing nothing of humanity's ache
My soul has abandoned me today
I am weightless
Unanchored
To a realm that holds no bonds
To the flightless bliss of my bones
When you see God
Then you will know
You have gone to far

Noun, a place or state of great happiness; an unspoiled paradise.

I hate anger
It was once so familiar to me
A crackling flame under my skin
Close to the surface
Now I am soft
Against harsh hardened hearts
Vain hopes
And the pitiful work of my hands
I pray for gentle souls
To work their light across acres
Where only concrete highways
Have paved their way
Built on a foundation of self preservation
I will not live forever
Maybe not even many years
You knew me
Came closer
Than I ever let anyone get
That’s the scary part
Pieces of myself I showed you
The aching hurting rejected pieces
Parts I put in the rooms of my mind
And shut the door on
Even to let myself in
Every time my thoughts
Try to wander in there
I remind them
That isn’t allowed
Those aren’t safe places
We aren’t ready
To face those demons again
Who knows if we ever will be
I hate these parts of myself
The red tape thoughts
I would burn them if I could
If they would light
But I can’t put my own body in flames
Whisper soft prayers
Against smoke meandering towards heaven
These thoughts will not remember me
I never knew them
Yet here I am match in hand
You my tinder
If only my mind would bend itself
Against the plight of the wind
She more sturdy than I
Maybe her voice a bit louder
A bit faster to the retort
I mumble over my words
The thickness of my tongue
Inconsistent in my mouth
I am no liar
But these words are white
I turn them over charcoal
Spit them out red
They mean nothing either way
Why waste my time
On the taste of passing sins
Will I look myself in the mirror in the morning
The eloquence of a bottle of wine
Passing from my speech
Sober eyes stare back at me
I have nothing to do with them
They are my own
I am my own fool
Screaming of my qualms
In the cobblestone square
And no one will understand me
I do not even listen to myself
I need help
But have no humility to ask
You would be to close to me
If you knew me
To far from sanity
Soft to you
Hard and harsh against myself
I can forgive the world of her wrongs
Hold myself accountable
As a martyr on the hill
For even one solitary sin of my head
My hands have not yet been burdened of
I ache for loneliness
If you can’t hear me
You can’t hurt me
I won’t let myself see you again
Because the hardness of my solitude
Is a feather in the grass
Against the stone fortress of your face
I am a fool among my own wisdom
A clown painting myself
With the oils of your hands
Nothing was real
Only the hairs on your head
Collecting in my shower drain
Soft skin in my sheets
Your lies weaving themselves
Through the splitting skin of my hands
I ache
You know nothing of guilt
All to much of me
I can’t believe I let you touch me
The soft parts I don’t like
Let you see the dark clouds
Behind the blue sky of my eyes
Nothing is real anymore
Except this small ache
In the left atrium of my heart
The ventricles talk back
Promising everything will be okay
There’s no way we could have know
I can’t sleep
I am tired
My eyes almost as heavy as my heart
Let me go
No, it’s the other way around
I’m letting you go
The bird in a cage
Migrating south
On the direction of it’s hollow bones
Should I start building my walls again
They served me well before
But then the light doesn’t get in
And I am afraid of the dark
Terrified you may fill it again
I already let you occupy enough of my head
If you could drown in your thoughts
I would be out in deeper waters
Than I know how to swim in
My shores are sunk
And my white flag
I may raise it
I may burn it
I may pray
If God remembers my voice
Ask him to come down
Take me home
Water washes away nothing
I am empty again
A small droplet of hope
That I will begin to fill
Tell me why
I am not yet broken
Against all the storms I weather
There is more to come
You are no good for me
No good
I knew this would come
I didn’t expect it to be so hard
I have been wrong before
Never so blind
My eyes will open again
May the sun on the horizon
Guide me to greener pastures
Where the dust of the stars
Falls untainted
On the ground
Of the Garden of Eden

You black iced bandit
Silver tip tongued liar
When you sleep
Do your bones rot
In the shadow of your sins
Does guilt not crush you
Runner
Fool
I have no hate
To send out into the world against you
You took my kindness as weakness
Now I do not even have regret
Maybe once, the earth said to the sky
Why do you hold all the stars
The moon chimed in against the night
Someone must hold them back
For we are not all made of light
I could of made you a believer
You had no faith in yourself
The person I poured my love into
Never existed
I am a giver
And you, a taker
A leaver
But you burn small
And I am the meaning of a dancing flame
You will drown in the waters
As my spirit passes over
Safely to other shores
I will say nothing
When my tears have dried
I will do nothing
When you raise your arms against me
Except pray
And the splitting of my lips
Is a curtain torn
Find me on the hill
When the suns goes down
For the third time
We do not say goodbye
Know the veil will thin again
I care not to play God
Only to hear his voice
Soft in the tops of the trees
Your ears deaf
To the cry of a good heart
Your calluses rough
To the work of gentle hands
Your feet burning
When you stand before the throne
The only one to claim you
Before the end
Is the earth
The most impartial of lovers
She too tells me
When I lay with her in the sun
The grass tickling my neck
Of the lesions you burned into her skin
Of chasms carved into her surface
By your bleeding hands
Yet, her and I
We know of healing
Our roots run deep
We do not fear the storm
And you will be ash in the wind

Who are you
To know my life
Your lips quiver
When you testify
I am a ghost
In my own home now
Yet you are the one
Haunting me
How can we speak
When your language of love
Is syllables
Made of material things
And my only speech touch
Love's evergreen promise
No longer whispers in my ear
Bury peace in me
That the seeds of our forgot me knots
Will one day find fertile soil
Apart from these sands of time
We called love

Here we pass
Into the abyss
Not lovers, strangers, or friends
Unbound from selfish ties
Only one
Small inkling of humanity
You are broken again
I free
There is nothing
In the darkness
Only the faint shimmer
Of what once
Would soon be

I deny any touch
Ice cold metal
A stiff collar
Around my throat
Here I choke
On my lies
I pity the fool
That ever believed me
Snot in my nose
Runs into my mouth
Pain is not penance enough
But I am not god
Or even wise
Only humbled
Against restraints
That allow me
No more than
A fingers breath of air
The night will take me
As her own
Before morning
Can even set a wage
What is the market for souls
When I am only a host
For such gentle chaos
Rage within me
All the deplorable things
I will not last
But how beautifully
I will burn
Making way
Before the coming of the sun

My throat narrows
Vision tunnels
At the sight of you

I am flightless
Beneath the sky
At the mercy
Of a breaking dawn

Have I always been
Shallow waters
Against your ocean trenches
We will go out
With the tide

The smooth rocks
Upon the shore
Will murmur
Of our devotion

Until they too are sand

I feel deep again

The thinner air
At the bottom
Of the gulley

I do not remember
The taste of fresh air
Nor will it return to me

So few hands
Hold the affairs of the world
So many hearts
Vast with the spell of uncertainty
The boats are rocking
In murky water

I heal in the puddle of your affection
Clear water dripping from your lips
Pooling with my oil spill tears
Lost on the plight of my affliction
Another cart hitched to the horse of depravity
Bring out your dead
There is no room for mourning here
Plant your new flowers
In dark rich soil
The spirits in the earth
Watch over the roots of your labor

Poets bleed black, red heart on grey paper
Trying to fit jagged edges together
Sandpaper hands run over tectonic fractures
Overlaying continents with soiled fingers
Causing ripples in time
That will take up eons to still
The angel of death is among us
Spreading like plague
Azrael will guide you to the gates
There you must journey alone
It is not the hand of God, nor is it his fight
Herald the dawn
That the light of life may come to you
Here angels pour out their vials upon the seas Turning tears of earth, to blood of soil
Trumpets have not yet sounded
They will ring like a great shriek of birds
Calling up famine, and pestilence of man
Your skin will rise on the back of your neck Running sweat rivers down your spine
Worming its way into the clench of your jaw
Seraphim crowd the throne, Cherubim at the stairs
Are you afraid, fear not, I am always with you
Here in the valley, flowing with milk and honey
Your seal is upon me
Protection seared into my flesh
My forehead burns
No affliction may fall upon me, at what cost
Man's coin, man's folly
A shadow on the earth
Through the corner of my right eye
I see the reaper clothed in black
His scythe reflecting moonlight
The hourglass hung by his belt holds no sand
Here are the souls
Passing through, time is liquid
Dripping through us back into soil
Tangible gravity, are you afraid
Before the throne, drawn to your knees
You will rise, no lesser, no greater, only mute
Walk among the living, but without their voice
The scroll will open like the wings of an eagle
Heaven's choir filled with the sound of angels
Do not be afraid, lift your hands
Your palms bind themselves with the book of ages
Commandments set in the stone of your palms
Dried under the light of a dying sun
Written rivers up your wrists
Your eye in your forehead is open
Spirit shining through, this is light in the dark
The way of priests
Speak not and you will know
I am the raw work of your words
Newborn beneath heavens and angels
Hold no fear, in the matter between your ears
I am with you always even to the ends of the earth

What are your favorite poetry themes to read about?

Letting go is growth
My faith is not in the rising of the sun
But in those who love its light
Today's peace
An honest estament
To the heart's ability to heal
Existing here, sentient
While other minds
Hold space for my spirit
I am there also
I am with you
I am in the earth
The stars are in me
As is all chaos and peace
The world has ever known
My chest holds astroid craters
Transcendent seeds of the tree of life
Existing in many times at once
As myself, as a child
A satisfaction that will not be satiated
Wean me not of knowledge's cravings
All things flow through me
As I also am in all things
Is not your structure
Made of the iron in my bones
Your heart beating the same drum
To a different tune
Here we are calling up the sun
With the trumpet of unabashed power
Ageing with this day
In the morning I am new
Fresh as dew on grass
Knowing, this too shall pass

Heaven, not as motionless as before
Time stirring, it's scent in the wind again
Beginning, sifting further from memory
Gathering thoughts, consciousness, as it goes
Are we ageless now, with our back
Face to face with creation
The flow of blood through my hands, thickening
The hand of man stirs not what it would devour
Hunger again, thirst will abandon you
Here at the bottom of the well
Pennies of copper for silver tongues, iron hearts
Who do you think you are
Grounding yourself on holy soil
When the womb of your thoughts
Finds itself barren again
Will you act with the hunger of your mind
Binding satisfaction with the gnashing of teeth
To a prayer no man can stomach
You miscarry yourself
Infertility of your thoughts
Spilling dead seed in an empty garden
Begging weeds for fruit, watering sand
Bartering fools gold for spent promises
Turning soil over
You would be better to dig your grave
There is rest in the earth
Bite your tongue, clear your mind of pain
Remember wisdom
Food for soil, food for thought
Bread that is broken
Yesterday's tears and sweat
Spent as they dry
Coins on your eyes as you sleep every night
Is your hope simply that you pass
Peacefully through iron gates
If your mind is weak so are your hands
Fools do not doubt their wisdom, only yours
How confident you are behind your walls
Painting sunflowers on the walls
When you will not make windows
How stale a mind kept in a box
Have you not been told
Eyes are the window to the soul
Let the light in