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Edna Sweetlove Aug 2015
Yes! It's another Barry Hodges "Memories" poem!"*

I shall never forget our first date together,
How we wandered through the streets of Soho,
Gazing into the **** shop windows,
Laughing at the giant vibrators on display...

And later, a romantic meal in a French bistro,
Where the rules of hygiene were not
As strictly observed as might have been hoped for,
Promising a regurgitatory treat in store...

You ignored the startled eyes of our fellow diners
And brutally shoved your tongue in my mouth;
O how fiercely I slurped on it enthusiastically
Caressing it with my own mouth sausage...

I ****** and ****** and ****** and ******
And (oh joy!) I could taste the garlicky bits
'Twixt your gorgeous unwashed choppers;
How my underwear damply stretched out of shape...

I withdrew my probing tongue and kissed your cheek
Affectionately, yet trembling with rampant desire;
And I boldly licked a firm yellow-topped spot
With its previously observed black centre...

My huge uncontrollable lust conquered
The demands of demodé bourgeois good manners
And I sunk my incisors into that zitty beauty
Relishing the ******* waiting just for me therein...

The waiting staff were deeply impressed as I chewed
In rapturous sensual joyous contemplation
And you spluttered bloodily in loving agony
Your own mighty ****** fast approaching...

Oh what a foretaste of what was to come
When we repaired to my convenient bedsit
For an immensely gratifying triple bonk
Prior to a staggering mutual diarrhoea session...

And now I lie back in sweet recollection
Of the many nights we spent in copulation
But how sad I am as, looking at the deserted bed,
I can still make out the stains of your dying turds.
Adult Humour Memories
Edna Sweetlove Nov 2014
A "Memories" Poem from the great Barry Hodges' pen*

I shall never forget our first date together,
How we wandered through the streets of Soho,
Gazing into the **** shop windows,
Laughing at the giant vibrators on display...

And later, a romantic meal in a French bistro,
Where the rules of hygiene were not
As strictly observed as might have been hoped for,
Promising a regurgitatory treat in store...

You ignored the startled eyes of our fellow diners
And brutally shoved your tongue in my mouth;
O how fiercely I slurped on it enthusiastically
Caressing it with my own mouth sausage...

I ****** and ****** and ****** and ******
And (oh joy!) I could taste the garlicky bits
'Twixt your gorgeous unwashed choppers;
How my underwear damply stretched out of shape...

I withdrew my probing tongue and kissed your cheek
Affectionately, yet trembling with rampant desire;
And I boldly licked a firm yellow-topped spot
With its previously observed black centre...

My huge uncontrollable lust conquered
The demands of demodé bourgeois good manners
And I sunk my incisors into that zitty beauty
Relishing the ******* waiting just for me therein...

The waiting staff were deeply impressed as I chewed
In rapturous sensual joyous contemplation
And you spluttered bloodily in loving agony
Your own mighty ****** fast approaching...

Oh what a foretaste of what was to come
When we repaired to my convenient bedsit
For an immensely gratifying triple bonk
Prior to a staggering mutual diarrhoea session.
jaykzee Oct 2013
KITTY
ZITTY
AND P-DITTY
WERE BFFS FOR LYFE
BUT THEN ONE DIED
AND WE ALL CRIED
THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG
BOO-HOO
s Oct 2016
you know that classic love story
the boy sees the girl
she has beautiful shining hair and perfect skin
a smile that radiates like the sun
their eyes meet and they feel a spark.
well i have never heard a love story about a girl with a zitty face
a girl who wears big hoodies and sweatshirts everyday to hide her body that has too much flesh
a girl who
a girl whose smile is more fake than the foundation that she slams on her face to give the illusion of good skin
is that all we care about in this life?
the illusion of perfect
the illusion that the scars on her skin are from a cat
the illusion that you make so your parents can be proud of you
the illusion that living doesn't hurt like hell everytime you open your eyes
the illusion that everytime you wake up youre not terrified to live another day
i will never have a classic love story
because most days i wear big hoodies
because most days i can't smile
because most days i put my hair in a bun
because most days my face is exploding with red spots
suicidal depressed girls don't get happily ever afters.
in this story
the boy will look at the girl
he will see her
and he will look away.
I hate myself
Ty Jul 2023
Doo Bop Dee witty boom boom let it bloom
  me pop this zitty make it hit real soon…
We stopped for Kitty let it purr make it zoom
  i made this ditty made it up with a boom....
I rock the room smoke a splitty cut the fake
  we smile no gloom  hit'em up eat the cake...
Read this eyes open then you know what to take
  close your eyes tight and there'll be no escape...
Hold up no waiting crisscross hit the brake
  slide in my lane and it will be too late.....
Doo Bop Dee witty load'em up hit the city
  me pop this bitty blow'em real pretty....


front to the back to the front make'em jump
back to the front to the back just a bump!

— The End —