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~~~
the greatest tragedy of life
is not to experience
love and the worsest part
is to live
just only to breath*

©IGMS
Bb Maria Klara Jun 2015
It is a curse, to feel so ******.
When love’s salvation is a fail planned;
When even at best, all is not enough,
there is no way to still be though.
When your strength attacks your weak-
ness and fear the hurt so refuse to speak,
wrap it in riddles and locks and questions,
bundle the worry in subtle depressions,
Carry it lightly, as though it a babe,
break not the fragile, make it be save.
And pray really hard it repairs itself,
so whole and displayed on a shelf.

A shattered pride, I do not mind,
I just now hope that I do find,
the courage to pick up the shattered pieces,
by emotional maladies, sentimental diseases.
How do I begin to try and heal,
after being struck at Achilles’ heel?
It’s what I can’t admit, feeling so pierced,
by one I had hoped to have me blissed.
A careful thing, to hide the hurt,
hide bleeding scars beneath a skirt.
all so quickly, down it falls.
my heart feels vacant, hollow halls.

but shallow, but true,
holding unreasoned rue.
emotional sighs, and the best of my lies.
to disguise and hide my bitterly cries.
a pathetic thing, to fear and self hate
the failure to entirely captivate.
The desire to be the center of the world,
too much for a pretty but stupid girl.
Perhaps it’s what makes me not at all enough.
possessiveness over the worsest of stuff.
but as I tell anyone, I don’t know if I care.
because trying is all that I could even dare.
AnnaMarie Jenema Oct 2016
Sumimasen, chotto.
Donde esta la bibliotecia?
Yo tengo un gato in los pantalones.
How can I even speak english?
The simple answer,
I can't.
My words fall short,
I loose my train of thought.
My grammer tries to autocorrect itself in the worsest of ways.
I'm often teased that I have my own language,
and yet my writing comes across well.
I can speak a mix of languages,
but barely.
I speak Annanese,
I can't speak at all.
I just get nervous and my sentence structure falls to ruin.
I'm too shy for my own good.
And yet I can become too bubbly and worry that I speak too much.
It's always too much,
or not enough.
Never balanced.
Why can't I just speak my mind?
stuck in this rut, reveling in reaching, ricky and louis laughing at twisted tales like sherlock on a good manic day, goofy with hysteria throw happiness in cyanide, worse for fever and worse for cold, worse for hangover, too conscious of the trifecta of time, not conscious enough of growing old, massive teeth baring ***** and snitch and ******, all the ***** words thrown into a frying vat, frothing and frolicking in mixtures of mundane, however twisted in the opposite, do come again?  

worse, then worser, then the worsest you can imagine, thrown into the sea for some sort of great escape, some sort of greater story, to retrieve a golf ball that was planted at the beginning of the joke, the joke is funny, and we laugh

and perhaps the man that is somehow removed from this time lapse will lose his ability to know hysteria, the man who no longer knows seriousness will live his life better but not contribute humor to the mix, but will be, as a tree, indifferent

given away, given up, given to suit, to jacket, to shade, to gray, gray gray, fifty shades of ****** up, I laughed at that one, but later I whipped and she screamed with pleasure, the truth hides and has a loving eye and a whipping tail

a red faced ******, hysteria, the cure for cancer, to humor, to understand truth yet purposefully mislead, the bit, and finally, the bow
PEARL SMOKE Sep 2017
Physically And chemically Addicted is One thing.
Being mentally Addicted
Is Another.
I'm A Smart Girl.
Unfortunally I'm clever For what's opposite of Good.
I've been Addicted Chemically.
So Hooked I felt I Needed to Get High To continue Breathing.
I needed A fix everyday To function in life.
I've been addicticted Emotionally.
Every time I Felt Some sort of sadness. I needed to Take
A hit or do A line.
I didn't want to deal with my problems or feel Upsetting emotions.
Ive been Addicted Physically.
I Was Inlove With the routine of Fixing A Line. I Was obsessed With Packing, lighting , Melting and hitting the pookie. It all amazed me and I was stuck on The routine.
Im Currently Addicted mentally.
I consider this To Be
the worsest thing.
You see I've been Sober.
My minds constantly Reminding It's self About the good times.
I'm Always Coming across Things that Remind me of getting high.
When I'm Unhappy, Thinking of dope gets me happy.
It's insane.
To Conpletly Stop This horrific cycle I must Work On Forgetting About It .
Need to learn not to reminisce.

I've Relapsed.
All due To my mentality.
It's clever ways Have made its sources To my Brain.
It Plans Scenerios Before it Plays
Fools spitting bars with no feels claim they real
Tryna play gangsta with the mass appeal
This Copperfield will give em a new feel shield
Emotions makes for the most commotions
Slow sips of the poisoned potions oceans
Of thoughts deep cuz I was brought coastin'
In Atlantis star Galaxy came outta spirituality
In the forms of humanity now i see treachery
Rising before me black skin equated to black sins
Peeps still buying lies to believe in im giving
Nothing but the raw truth see my demonic troops
The goetias gave me  Solomons seal sigils
See the black sequel never ends so pretend
That we dont exist or problems arise risk
Why is it ever time i try to find myself
An adversary always after ya health my wealth
Was bombarded then discarded parted
From history but my real ****** know the story
Tryna brainwash white wash our history
Everybody knows Eygypt is black as can be
Just look at the walls of phoroahs legacy
A beautiful goddess black Nefertitis babies
Look like me im coming at Cha Cleopatra
Even made Caesar fall to his knees in pleas
Couldn't help he got lost that black *****
So bad he didn't even see his best friend
Plot the the killer theme it ain't a dream
I'm preaching the facts cold dominant tracks
Step into the booth where history formed at....

Yo let's take it backkkkk


Thy kingdom come thy will be done slums
Dont want none what's a snare to a drum
All you get is beats like when my heats
Tapping spines sounds the flatline cold mind's
Of a serial killer hawks the thriller fill ya
Coal mind's with the flawless diamonds
**** what Simon seys **** chasing dead pres
They all slave masters plot the disaster
Trillion dollar industry folks looking musty
Tryna keep clean I see the grand surpreme
Of evilness that rings sings and binges flings
Caught the bees sting took it like man understand
This for my future and unknown fans
I speak facts **** all them gun bars and play
Im a real vet say what the **** I wanna say
Darkness preys upon the light showcast sight
Brailled the non-believers become bleeders
To the afterworld lives put up for silver and gold
Metals watch the blooming rose peddles
Out of the cracked concrete settles mettles
The universes spreading curses worsest
See the pain empty out the closest Black Moses
Burning bushes talking with the spiritual judges
Tryna heal without the crutches clutching
My mind its hard to define chakra realign
Numbs the kind im a new grand design

— The End —