I simply stepped outside one particular eve.
What drew my curiosity from smug security?
Let's not pass blame to moon's aggressive rise.
Nor barren streets silent daily compromise.
It was more a taste one bites harder for.
Years of comfort rocked asleep by inner core.

It's quieter now.
Rioters are long gone.
For reasons  beyond me.
Their anarchic war
Was replace with arctic winds
From far north.
Iciness blows through me
Unthawing the rawness.
Forlorn frozen feelings.
Slowly spreading, soon
I am a hollow iceberg
The world still moves on
Through the bright fire
And I watch from my frigid state.
Sometimes, flames will flicker towards me,
Sometimes, they lick my ice.
Temporary mealting occur.
The memory of water proves too
Tempting for ice to ignore.
But this chilled bliss is fleeting.
Memory turned sour and only to freeze up again
And forget about fire so ice retires from contact.
All I can do is watch on.
Coldness remains in the heart and brain.
As the warmth of health carries on around me.
It is time like this,
That I wait for this age to pass.
For climate change to do what it does best
However weather has always been unpredictable,
And even lava couldn't thaw me free.
Instead I will wait for the return of the rioters.
and prepare to greet them all
and All the choas they bring.

I'm planting seeds in December
I planted One for love
Two for peace
Three for every moment I felt the breath of eternity
slipping through your lips as I brushed mine across your flesh
gracefully grazing with my fingers
the curve in your back
Healing the strain and tension that your work had let in
I held my left hand above your skin
and prayed the pain that had sunk in
would flow into me
I drew it out persistently
I took it all in a heart beat
and I watched as your mind drifted off quitely
Hoping it would lead you into serenity
With my right hand I projected
all the beauty I had collected
while watching the sun decend sleepily into the sea
and I witnessed you exhale all the trials you faced recently
My hands now taking you into a vast journey
Your conscious mind lulled into sleep
and I talked with you telepathically
Tracing the points sensationally
Touching upon subjects that needed to be
Soulfully blessing the night with a gift of insight
My love I felt everything
Unthawing the earth with the spark of spiritual empathy
I planted four seeds for always
and five for our hopes
The six I had left I repeated the first three
and I watched them grow
Two bonded effortlessly
into One being
Corresponding
Equilibrium
Perfectly
Forget-me-nots began flourishing

Blood marks stained upon the innocent's carpet
A loveless repayment for a loving intention
Black ash and rubble across the apartment
Because of a soldier's salute for an ego's attention
Red clothes cling to the bleeding body's frame
And the unthawing cruelty leaves it stranded in pain

The body's wrapped and taken to waste
For there are thousands more like it
They just copy and paste

As they have nothing to gain
And that drives them insane

Loveless repayments from loving intentions
Because soldiers salute for the egos' attention
And they have so much to gain
Before they're driven insane

The head and the heart seem to be at battle inside me.
My heart is full of the love that emanates from him. There is a light that had been ignited, growing brighter and warmer as each day passes. His love slowly picking up the fragile remains of my past, patching up the holes that have been left behind. I finally feel the love and appreciation I have always longed for.
My mind knows that the love is real and yet I am full of such...apprehension.  Something stops me from letting my guard down. I am still filled with unease when I hear his phone ring. I'm still scared of getting my heart broken again. I don't distrust him. I know its my arms he wants wrapped around him at night.
This battle makes me feel crazy. I don't want to be the reason for the hurt behind his eyes. I don't want to be the one that causes pain instead of healing a broken heart.
With all the love I feel surrounding me, why does it still feel like there is something inside cracking? Like ice.
Is the ice inside me unthawing and cracking because of the warmth that grows from my soul or is the ice slowly creeping up my walls, another precautious barrier subconsciously forming to guard potential heartbreak.
I just want to finally live in peace, imaging our possible future. I don't want to be in any other arms, I don't want to be a part of any other mans life.
How do I stop this unnecessary battle inside from tearing this apart?