You've learned to mimic emotions
despite your inability to actually
feel a ******* things

I scream*  
I Love You

Please don't do this

While being held tightly in your embrace
like iron rods wrapped round me

I see in your eyes
someone I no longer know
the illusions gone & the mask has fallen

I see the real you

too late

oh

its too late

too late for me

We seemed so happy together  
becoming one  
I was falling for you

I didn't listen to my woman's intuition

You have had this carefully plan out
every detail in advance

You have contingency plans in place
I'm sure of it

I have to fight but soon as the thought enters my mind
you slam me down

winds knocked out of me and my head spinning

Your quick movements
has me up against a tree trunk
I can feel the ropes
being tied tightly

I open my mouth to scream
beg & plead

swiftly you stick a rag in it

Guess you've really thought of everything
you know me too well

The streams taunting
me it's so inviting
if only.........

To late you're standing over me

I look up & you have this charismatic
charm about you as your smiling down at me

This is what caught my eye in the first place
that smile of yours

******

I should of know not to trust you
  One Year & Six Months ago

You're unremorseful
as I watch you dissociate emotionally
from all your actions taken place

Unremorseful of the feelings
I have towards you

I moan and you look at me
through me and
past my soul

chilling me as you walk closer

The stream is taunting me
it looks so inviting

Oh well

This is only

Only*

*A Story!
Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N
1977-Present  
All right reserved

You have planted your feet
into the ground, as if the roots
of oak and willow trees
will bend and grow
around you

But the land is cruel
and unremorseful, it will
flood or famine or even
walk. The flowers full
of pollen, singing as
they sting

Yet you will tend them
tenderly, unaware of
the rage of a buried
thing. You will water
them and name them,
talk to them, sometimes

Your feet are in the ground,
now, and you cannot run
away, fight or flight, stuck
in time, in land, vegetables
surfacing, ivy climbing, as
you are forced to eat the
orange petals, that rebelled
against your claim of
ownership

fascinated i draw in my breath,
little murmur of content, i am life
and i am death, what is there
to prepare, what to unravel,
what happenstance to know?
how does the tide, desiring only
to rise and fall, to sweep the shore
and then drawback like a warrior lunging
with a sword, the death-cry obliterating
the sky, then pulling his arm swiftly back
the same fire in her heart, unremorseful,
unrelenting, bring me such rest?
i’ll forget all my loves except
for you, die like a warrior for love
because my heart is a rugged shore and
it carries the crashing waves and the
clamour of gulls because it believes in
freedom, and needs to hear the brashness
of the wind and the far distances of the stars.

i sink through fields of red crimson cord, strewn across my own mindspace
synapse detached through joint stimulating electron particle repulsion
soul and heart and hearth and home
dissolved in a soup of blind, driven, unREMORSEFUL feeling

bleeding blood that appears not as blood, trailing in stream(er)s from a decorated float
appearing through veiled social distance, bleeding through to dark spots on the jeans i haven't washed since last week
appearing as an image, mirrored reflection with just a
hint
of deception
(as though i'm not really here, i'm not who you think i am you will me to be,
i disappeared when you last left me here, last left to chase your own sun
i disappeared slowly, as if melting, dissolving, being swept away, dust filled
i disappeared in the wake of the last tornado to sweep through this yawning town
this blip on my radar
this phase that fazes me not as i walk jaded, unfeeling, uncaring, unmoved
i disappeared and now there's no trace of me left to answer)

i retain my poker face from guys' night out, though now i don't have to tell you that tonight i need to be alone, no,
tonight i
w h i s p e r
it
as if you're still listening

I used to be
all of which you call me by today,
a ****,
a *****,
a ****,
jealous,
unremorseful,
disrespectful,
living a meaningless life,
being delusional,
one who betrays.
But I want you to understand,
so desparately,
that I am no longer that confused, reckless girl.
I know what I deserve now,
and it isn't this.
I'm not who I used to be
I'd scream it at the top of my lungs
for the rest of my life,
if it'd make any difference
(but it wouldn't)

We stood beneath
   the bridge,
seeking shadows
to hide our faces.
He tried to smile,
but the look
was distorted and
   displaced.
No sanity left...
no humanity.
The path chosen
led us deep
   and dark
into a realm
with pleading
   voices,
with merciless
   reactions.
The day would come
when it must stop.
Where? When?
The true gods
turned away
and left us, childlike,
to face our fortune.
Left us unguarded
to witness the
unremorseful grasp
   of fate.
We stood alone,
even the shadows
could not hide us
   then...

Animals are sacred holy vessels every species.
Wild life to farm animals to pets deserve to live a happy, safe, & loved life.
Not to be butchered & massacred to be frozen, stored, & cooked.
They have feelings, their mind has thoughts, they gave affection & require to be fed.
Their lives have purpose.
They have families & babies .
My vegan beliefs are based on moral values.
I chose for myself & daughter.
We are the only ones among disowned family & friend who are not caravores.
I never voted for the meat industry.
To have meat departments in stores.
Is like having a funeral at a wedding.
It is my choice to never purchase flesh.
To consume flesh alive or undead is not edible.
Horrific ****** is unforgettable.

****** has no compassion.
It has no style or fashion.

Barbaques are satanic rituals to give the devil power.
A sacrifice in each hour.
To be raised as a meat eatting caravore is a brainwashed tradition passed from generation to generations.
I broke the cycle.
I took a stand.
Join the cause for a new vegan world without blood vengenance.
Become a part of life.
The circle of life has no death.
The dead can't rest in pieces.
World peace on earth to save & prevent decease & demise.
In your heart feel what is wise.

Your stomach doesn't digest meat anyways it just rots there.
Today you can start to care.

To devalue the lives of cows, horses, pigs, lambs, chickens & their eggs is disrespectful, heartless, sadistic, selfish, evil, corrupt, ******, mindless, unremorseful, deceitful, betraying, & cruel.

It sickens me to see packaged body parts of animals slaughtered & mutilated.
For caravore consumption.
They would've made good friends not food.
It is disgusting to see red & purple blood leak & chicken fat juice seep through serane wrap.
People who eat the chopped off chicken & pigs feet & fish with their heads still attached & cow tongues look like human lungs are disgusting.
It is cruel & sick.
To cut up parts of a living creature.

As it's different, when you're weaned
on the stinging foam on chins and hair
Hearing the sighs of the sea when
you fall and no-one's there
as if to say, I'm here, but I won't help!
You dash stones in rage
that she simply swallows
and thanks you for with a
particularly ungrateful wave.
Spiders in bright buckets,
***** in between toes in rock pools
a dog-**** buried in the sand.
Worst, are the bat-eyed gulls
swooping on candy you
guarded from bigger kids
but no-one hides from gulls
and sweeping swallow a bag whole
one gulp, unremorseful,
one eye, always watching
stoney, black.

So now, I am older and
we are sun-bathing,
or rather, you are stretched out glossy
and smiling like a good haul
where I pick sand from my belly button
and shade my iPad from the sun.
I see two gulls, eyeing up your Pimms
cocking their heads in angular decision,
I offer them some Smoked Salmon,
they ******, you shout which
spooks the birds who fly
away, yet together, gliding parallel.
You storm away, stamping sand in
drinks and electrics alike
but I am anchored here
watching the gulls flying duo
tied from their throats
and then their stomachs.
The more they want to pull away,
their bodies pull them closer

Unremorseful strike, love's cruel attack,
A dagger ******, my heart it cracks,
Crimson tide spills, staining the floor,
Pain echoes loudly, I can bear no more.