You call it how you see it
And I can’t say I blame you
You put me in a state of disorder
So of course, chaos ensued
Now everything is warped, distorted, upside-down
An unnatural wrongness in vice
Imbalance of the gunas
Delusion has its price
I find myself guilty of
Sleeping during the vibrant sun,
Blind faith, self-destruction
And ultimate non-conformity
But I never meant to act unreligious
Never meant to cause disharmony
Never meant to act with self-praise
Never meant to act immorally
Contrary to the laws of the planet,
I embrace self-rejection
But should this terrible reversal of order
Be considered evil?

I lift myself up to the top of the crater
Holding my own hand
Because I'm the only one who can make me feel better
I reflect the mirror of a widowed soul
Easy to please because I've been growing old
The same old **** drives me crazy
Drives me in circles
Makes me feel lazy
About how I am
How I am supposed to be
Left on this planet
With no one to save me
And that is how I feel
I love my family
My family are my friends
But they don't reserect me
They can't save what they don't know is lost
They don't feel what I feel
The don't know that I'm tossed
Between life and them
Not knowing how dead - they really are
Mark my words
I'm hotter than mars
I've got this down
I know my power
I've let it set in
I'm ready to devour
The planets and all that there is
I'm ready to take it
I've already defeated it
I wait while they wander
I shoot with the stars
I quiver with fire
I'm raising the bar
I'm calling out insane
Runnin around in their maze
It's time to real you in
I'm sick of waiting
Will your consciousness already sit in?
Christ
Holy power
Raise your fist
Feel te power
Of yourself
And eternal wealth
I want you hear
Find thine eye
Heaven be clear
To me
To you
To us
Amen

Another tear falls in Tennessee
For a promise broken

       A moment's notice brings forth the painful revelation laying on your soul
    When you've lost all control thats when you're forced to get a grip
  We've been through it
     And you know I hold you in high regards
        I even tried to say "hi" to God for you
Still I'm unreligious but I pray to see you smile
     All the miles and trips and times I became distant from far away
  I know where my heart will stay
Where it started
A piece broken from a bigger vessel
   I could only dream to achieve
But still we both bleed the same

We've both seen the pain love can cause
We've both needed a pause

But couldn't remotely get a moment so we adapt and change
Channel all these strange emotions into our next step forward
       And though when I call, you try to claim you're standing still, I still hear you move back a few
       I wanna run back to you,
Fix your back for you and help you stand up
         All while trying to man up
  *This life I've created with the love of my life will find love in his life and become intertwined
       But before he does
I want him to know the amazing woman his grandmother is
       With or without a man
And the unconditional love her heart holds within

I'm lucky that I'm an Arab girl.
It's the darkness that, I'm a girl in this Arab community
Yes, it's my family and the local community.

Please, don't get me wrong
It’s the not really right traditions that chained us,
here in my family and community.
They all say we're open-minded,
But they're not, really no.
They all say, girls are not oppressed,
But they are.
They all say that no one infanticides girls anymore.
But it still happens, even if it's not literally.

We’re still being bullied here in the Arab community.
So that's why I'm going to say these bad things-

It's sad enough that I'm single,
I am unmarried, 39 years old!
I have no husband, no kids,
I'm not an Arab girl now, and I’m an Arab woman.

I have never seen the hunter lion in my jungle of sin.
I cannot even play with myself
Because I should keep saving my virginity
If I want to get married ever.
Truly I'm still a ******.

I know it’s a sin, a great sin!
But just I don’t like this backdated community,
these traditional rules and overrules
just belong to family pride.
Does it support our religion?
Even does it like civil society?

Truly, it’s not fair, it’s inequitable to me!
I want reality; I want to get free!
I want to be happy; I want fair!
I want the truth; I respect my religion.
That’s why I want my rights!

Marriage between cousins has been part of the culture
here in my society for centuries,
largely as a means of securing relationships between tribes
and preserving family wealth.
My parents are both first cousins.
Maybe I have to get married to a close relative.
Society expected it and it is still common here.

Nowadays, my family is allowed to get married from other families.
But here in my society has some family status
like these, Level-one to Level-five
Level-five cannot be married from level-one
or others in some families
Level-one can marry from level-one to three.
Level-three can marry from level- three to one.
But the level- four and five can marry from each other only.
It is like that from past family tradition not for wealth ****.

I am from level- three.
Some guys came to my parent but they’re not my family type
and some are not my level
I have some close relatives but they’re not good guys.
My parent doesn't like them.
That’s why I’m still single.

I got back from the supermarket and maybe I will go to the mountain tomorrow
Yeah my country becomes green in this mountain
But other gulf countries they hot very.
No, I can't drive, I will go with my father or my brothers.

I have had a relationship with an Arab guy
we had met each other at my university when I was 23.
We had been talking over the phone and a social media.
And it’s hidden from our families.
But he cheated on me,
He did not come to my parent,
and he didn't discuss about marriage.

Hell, he wanted to see my looks and something like ****.
That’s not good for my family and me. It’s unreligious.
If my parents knew, I would be wrong
maybe they will **** me with him.
Talking to someone is not allowed here
I can talk to only people who I know.

Some Arab girls are getting married British citizen
But depends on the girl’s family, will accept or not
and another thing is religion.
The girls were studying their only
No levels for them

I know a girl who has just completed high school.
She will go to England to study
and she is looking for someone to get marry…
Because she’s losing her virginity in 13.
Her parents know it all.
They don’t want to **** her.
Hell for her that close relative.

How I will be married and I am not a ******!
If I make love before married or do something like ****
Then my husband will tell me that I am not good
The community will talk about me
And my parents will not talk to me.
They will slap me
All bad things will happen to me
I will be neglected.
And I have to go back to my family

After all,
my family will **** me.
Other punishments also, like these
Not going out of the house
No phones
Not talking to people, friends
And relatives
Not even married in life.

I have to stay alone at home
And no one will talk to me if I am alive
Then I should go out of the house forever
Really, a girl lives alone after this bad thing,
Yeah, can do work, but It is impossible here.

I know Arab girls have to war in my first night
and their weapons are their virginity!
That’s why I’m still a ******.
Sigh, I’m about 39.