I am Okay - A Slam Poem

I am okay.
Three simple words, such hypocrite words.
How are you?
You ask me, not even caring
not even knowing about who I am
what I am, how I feel.
How could you know?
I don’t blame you.
I don’t blame my eyes that can’t meet yours,
staring at the floor because I can’t lie to others
as much as I can lie to myself.

I am okay.
I answer, forcing a shaking little smile on a white crumbling face,
pinching my cheeks to make them look red
because red means life and life means joy.
I am okay.
I could be, but I’m not.

How could you know? Inside I’m
collapsing aching bending
withering, a flower in the winter
too tired to try to keep alive, fading
slowly falling onto the dry cold land.
But that you can’t see.
I am a knight, with a shining silver
fake smile on a pale perfect face and
my lies as a sword protecting me from words.

I am okay. But how could you know?
How could you not see?
My body is a facade that looks perfect to the eyes
but when you put a little pressure
with your trembling tempting hand,
cracks open, wounds show, black
dark blood runs cold out of the rifts
But you don’t even notice it because
who would pay attention to black blood
on a black floor, uniforming and blending,
it’s invisible unnoticeable
I don’t blame you.

Because after all I answered you,
with timid voice
and quiet eyes:
I am okay.