Undateable
You can come closer, but never near enough to hear my heartbeat

Undateable
You can see me smile, but never see anyone (not even you), in it

Undateable
You can hear me laugh, but never hear anyone's (not even yours) voice in it

Undateable
You can hold my hand, but never find my fingerprints in yours

Undateable
You can give me warm embraces, but never understand why my body's so cold

Undateable
You can shower me with all your love, but never enough for me to do the same

--


I'm sorry

Some time ago
Heart leaking with sorrow I left puddles of my own blood wherever I went

When predators smell blood they hunt

They hunt and they want to conquer
They want the empty vessel to build a home inside it for themselves
They call it falling in love

I took only the good things they have given me and filled up the empty spaces, and then I drift away like the seeds of dandelions dancing in the wind

Selfish maybe but I'm not stupid
I only want to be free
I know what they want
But that is for me for now, and no one else

Because men are so beautiful
But this heart
Is so fragile

*AA

Autistically
speaking
I applaud
your intelligence!

flap flap
clap clap

when you
don't think
before
you think

flap flap
clap clap

or open your
*******
******* mouth!

and disparage
and belittle
those with

a learning
disability.

But then maybe
It's you who is
disabled
as you don't
seem able to
distinguish
between what
is right and wrong
what is cruel and kind

flap flap
clap clap

in your ignorance
you are blind
and your
intellectual mind
is a snob
of the worse kind

Looking down
from your high brow
because you
are so clever

I forget
Let's all applaud
and you can remark
(Out of context of course)
that they're all ******* retards

flap flap
clap clap

Well aren't you hard!
You bully when
you say

the dimwits
and the morons,
unloveable,
undateable,
unwanted,
a drain of society
they should all be
put down.

Not somebody
you would choose
to be friends with
or if you did
it would be so you
take advantage of
an idiots good nature
and pure heart!

flap flap
clap clap

Or so you
could look good
in comparison
to them
and maybe it
would knock your
own IQ up
a number or two!

Your average ******
could teach you a
thing about numbers
if you asked them

And you wouldn't want
your own kids
playing
with them
incase they catch it....

Catch what?....
the ability to be
awesome
to think outside
the box
to see feel and
understand
and experience
the world and
people in a
completely
unheard of way.
To smell colours
and taste words,
and your inability
to deviate from
anything other
than your narrow
little mind
really is absurd!

So let's all clap
and flap flap
flap flap flap
and maybe
shriek a bit too!

They are the true
freethinkers
the true misfits
the pure and
the truly blessed

They are
the ones
the people
who are
"different"
"Individual"
as you
would like
to be

flap flap
clap clap
You ignorant ****!

Autistically speaking

Who's the ****** now?



©Jacqui Slade

Laying here alone in my bed,
writing angsty teen poetry in my head
Because my words are generally misunderstood
and i want to spread,
a positive message
but i think i'm missing something

Now I open my individuality to the world
by writing interchangable verses
left open to interpretation
trying to impress her with my vague themes,
quick wit, and fasination with things
most would find less than semi-interesting

and so what if my self-confidence is tattered,
or if I only have an average sized ego,
contrary to what I'll tell other people

and even if it never makes any difference,
or if I never realize my potential
My chances with women with steadily decline
until I'm rendered undateable
I'll continue to seek solace in drugs
because I've never been partial to things like girls
and the act of reproduction

I embrace inadequacy

Its all the rage;
I'm the ******* cliche

And I lack social grace

All aboard the bandwaggon,
Because all my friends and I
have the same hair
and general outlook on life

Some people have real problems and some have lives,
I don't think I fit into either of those percentages

I'm bound to live without meaning
for the rest of my days
because I've ****** up everything
I've ever felt meant anything

you can see it in my face,
behind this facade I put on
Smile :)

you asked: "we're doing
something for Valentine's Day,
right?" I blinked. "uh, sure."

sorry about that.
I've just never really not
been single before.

surprise. up until
now, 'til you, I'd pegged myself
as "undateable."

I thank you for not
seeing what I see in me--
but what do you see?

I hope you know that him not wanting to be with you is not because you're unlovable, undeserving, undesirable or undateable.

Please do not let one man, or any of them, ever leave you feeling that their inability to love you in the way you want, need and deserve means that you will never find the romance you're after.

Sometimes, and of course, he will never admit this but, you scare him most beautifully. He's scared because he knows that you're the real deal, and maybe, right now, that's not what he wants.

You don't want to be with a man who has to lose you to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn't even care if he never hears from you again.

The cruelest thing he can do is be afraid of you and your love, but leave you in the dark and questioning everything you are and everything you're worth because of his uncertainty.

We grow attached quickly, we get our hopes up when deep down we know we shouldn't, we hope that they'll want us in the same way we want them and we make them our everything.

When things don't work out, we end up wondering why we're not enough and why it is that the ones we always seem to want never want us back. we take it to mean that no man could ever love us for us.

If only we could realize that the person we're chasing after isn't the one for us. I'd like to think the one who is, is the one who will consciously choose us every day and there will be none of this wondering and wait for nonsense with them.

The one for us will fill us up with so much love that we'll never feel that we'd need to change for him or that we could never be the only woman he acknowledges and adores.

Please take a moment to accept that no matter how much you care for him, how much you want him in your life and how much you want him to want you, it doesn't mean that he's the one for you.

He may be the one you desire, but is he the one you deserve? You deserve someone who will realize how pure your heart is and how much you're willing to do for them and would never dream of risking or losing that.

You may think he's the guy of your dreams and he ticks all the boxes, he's the one you' be proud to show off to the world, he's the one you will never be able to find again, but is he really all of those things and as dreamy as you make him out to be when he treats you the way he does?

You don't deserve the guy who is inconsistent and indecisive. The guy who is sending you mixed signals. The guy who is endlessly coming up with excuses. The guy who makes promises he can't keep. The guy who keeps letting you down.

Remind yourself that him not wanting to be with you means that the love of your life is still out there and if it means you had to meet him and have your heart broken and your spirits crushed to realize that, then at least you can walk away with a clearer idea of what you do what in relationship.

Letting go of him and the hopes you built up in your mind will be hard, but you need to pinpoint when someone is taking you for a fool and for granted and to know that you're destined for more than that. The love you want is out there, don't let him make you believe it isn't

Believe in true love even though you feel so far away from it or it seems impossible that it exists. Don't let these men play with your heart and your feelings to the point where heartbreak and hurt are all you begin to except people.

Maybe he's looking for something or someone else, and that's perfectly fine because who says he's the only person in this world you but you? Who says that he should be all you know when there's a bigger world out there beyond him that you refuse to see and explore?

You know what you have to offer, you know that when you love,  you love fully and unapologetically, you know that one day you can make a man really happy and that you have a heart that’ll never turn cold no matter how broken it is, so don’t let these men dishearten and discourage you.

Don’t let them change or crush you just because they weren’t looking for something deep, real and meaningful as you are. The attraction and connection you had with him is something I promise you, you can and will find in someone else.

Keep in mind that some people have no shame or regret in breaking other people’s hearts for their selfish reasons, and not because they’re the perfect catch or confident but because they need an ego boost and someone to make them feel less lonely until someone else comes along.

Some people lose out on beautiful things, experiences and people all because they don’t seek, or are incapable, of building a true connection with it and instead, see it as something temporarily fulfilling rather than everlastingly enriching or enough for them.

He isn’t one of a kind, he’s just the kind of guy you thought you had to be with and your heart truly desired at one point in time.

You’re not just letting go of him, you’re letting go of everything you imagined he was and everything you saw in him that you felt you needed, but you’re well and truly better off without.

Let’s hope he one day finds what he’s looking for when he’s finally ready because we both know you’ll find it one day eventually and when you think of him, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.

Believe that your ability to love and feel deeply will one day be appreciated rather than taken advantage of