Lydia
watches through
a thin gap
in the dark

brown curtains
her sister
much older
in the bed

holding tight
to her tall
spiv boyfriend
and kissing

his thick lips
then his ears
which even
nine year old

Lydia
finds quite gross
it takes all
her childish

innocence
not to know
what the show
is about

she looking
through the gap
sees the spiv
put his hand

on the ****
buttocks of
her sister
Lydia

looks away
looks out at
the green grass
and the flats

and windows
opposite
ignoring
the giggles

and snorty
sounds she hears
from the bed
behind her

behind dark
brown curtains
how the heck
she got trapped

behind there
in her games
pretending
the window

was a stage
and she a
child actress
awaiting

to begin
when her big
sister came
tiptoeing in

with the spiv
while hiding
unseen there
Lydia

silently
hid her feet
and stealthily
had her peek

now she sees
pigeons walk
or kids play
with skip rope

or football
or cowboys
and Injuns
but behind

the curtains
on the bed
another
game is played

two actors
in combat
by the sounds
her sister

breathlessly
makes beyond
but innocent
Lydia

puts her hands
to cover
her small ears
watching kids

play their games
and joyfully
run about
ignoring

whatever makes
her sister
giggle soft
then loudly
laughing shout.

my constant lover has run off on his flight of fancy

and in his absence I am lost,

I dont want to think of you.

I dont want to be thrown back in that boat with you

I am aprehensive.

I am dragging my feet

those fake smiles and snorty vibes

the i really couldnt give a **** reply

all the pretending

the preditor and the prey

whos in control?

none of us it seems

but the fates have conspired once again

and another preening ritual is attended

and for what?

to show you what it is you havent got.

but you notice things like that dont you?

I will speak to you with those eyes you mask with hate

and I will mirror cool disinterest

and the rest shall feel ill at ease at my presence

while I fit in with the calm ease

of even the greatest sleeze.

comfortable in my destruction

and thier recoil at my gall

to put the **** out there so nicely

like it doesnt stink at all...

Snorty hog of russet red
I wish that you were dead

But not bleeding- gone peacefully in your sleep.