"shags" poems
I ain’t got no intimate, ain’t got no stiletto heels
Ain’t got no Lsd, ain’t got no smack
Ain’t got no partners, ain’t got no drill
Ain’t got no slapstick, ain’t got no hanky—panky
Ain’t got no Lsd, no slot to mount
Ain’t got no castrato, ain’t got no crumpet
Ain’t got no conjoined twins, ain’t got no nuns or eunuchs
Ain’t got no whipcord, ain’t got no adoration
Ain’t got no ******** ain’t got no stimulant
Ain’t got no ******
Ain’t got no oscillation, no shags
No uniform, no parts
No smack, no drill
No partners, no peccadillo
Ain’t got no stimulant
Ain’t got no whipcord, no propagators
No titbits, no intimate
I jabbered, I ain’t got no uniform, no hanky—panky
No peccadillo, ain’t copulated till one is blue in the face to have a funny feeling
And I ain’t got no ******
Oh, but what have I copulated, oh, what have I copulated
Let me tell what I copulated and nobody’s going to enlarge telescopic
I got my ***** on my face
My extra—sensory perceptions, my knobs
My ****** peckers and my ********
I got my stuck—out tongue
I got my tentacle, my proboscis
My ***** my *******
My thingummies, my cockles of the heart and my posterior
I got my ***********
I got my thingummies, my talons
My ball and socket joints, my forelegs
My hooves, my pincers and my snorker
Got my crest
I got ***** I’ve inseminated cheerleaders
I’ve got bottomgremlins and hacksawhoodoo
And Mephistophelian juggernauts too like you
I got my ***** my pistil
My ESP, my knobs
My vaginas, my peckers and my ********
I got my stuck-out tongue
I got my tentacle, my proboscis
My ***** and my *******
My ***** my ***** and my posterior
I inseminated my ****** sorbet
I got my thingummies, my talons
My ball and socket joints, my forelegs
My hooves, my pincers and my snorker
Got my crest
I got my ***** I got my slipperiness, my *****
I got *****
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 23, 2010 at 4:29 PM UTC
**I want a home without walls -
I want the prison of your fierce embrace
One of us hears pretty lies,
the other swears they're true..
One of us measures time
in wrinkles, lines and sags.
The other quantifies
with kisses, laughs and shags.
One of us in the mirror
sees a sorry story.
The other only beauty
there, splendid in its glory
Thoughts enamor me no end
they tug at my soul
In their depth i blend.**
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 4:12 AM UTC
Lots of ladies there may be, but I haven't had that many
My **** is always active, and I think I would have any
In the past I could have been, just a bit too picky
The art of wanking I did try, but that left my pants all sticky
Some nice **** I would love, or an **** or three
The fairer *** is preferable, cos there's nothing strange about me
It really doesn't seem that fare, when there are many slags
And lots of ugly fat ****** that say they all want shags
But I can not locate any, I wish there was a way
That I could find a nice gal, and not someone that is gay
Nothing against the Lezzers, I'm just not that way inclined
But I'm fed up with wanking, and I don't want to go blind
I would ***** an old gal, with a big fat rounded ****
A squeezable amount of flesh, inside an **** ****
Big fat ****** are welcome, who want it up their bucket
I would like **** your **** and I'd really love to **** it
An **** I could really try, if only the girls would
******* lots of ***** ***** that could be quite good
A large obese girl I would **** with lots of rolls of fat
I'd stuff my **** inside there **** cos there's nothing wrong with that
Ideal worlds would be good, if you could **** the girls you like
But I will settle for a ***** or a well used ridden bike
Even in a ******** they could be a real good ****
If pussy's are full of ***** I'd still **** your *** filled bag
Maybe I could find an old gal who is a real life *****
I would just think so what, and **** her well used *****
After I have loosened up, her tight old ******* hole
I could have a tighter **** with her **** upon my pole
******** the ladies ******** this is always such a dream
Arses will be filled up, and the cat would get the cream
If you want to get ****** and you find any of this thrilling
Get your ***** and arseholes out, ready for a creamy filling
Come on all you fat slags, I'd like to see you naked
And even you wrinkly old bags, to me nothing is sacred
Your ***** cats are required, and your arses are inclined
Fat slags and old bags are still quite hard to find
Feb 5, 2016
Feb 5, 2016 at 12:29 PM UTC
We have a cat
He’s a ******* and a ****
I’ll give you that.
We have a cat
He reminds me of a loose woman
He leaves all day and then again late at night.
We have a cat
My stepbrother bought him an ace little collar
Sometimes he comes home without it on.
We have a cat
He goes out and shags all the neighborhood ******
Half of them are up the duff by him I bet.
We have a cat
We don’t treat him too well
So he runs away from us.
We have a cat
His life with the neighbors is far better
He’d bite your arm off to be there instead of here.
We have a cat
I know how he feels
I bit my arm off to be with the neighbors instead of you.
We have a cat
He and I are quite the same
I follow out on his paws when he leaves.
We have a cat
You killed the cat
Now **** me too.
Feb 1, 2012
Feb 1, 2012 at 10:21 PM UTC
Even as
her husband Brian
shags her,
Nuala thinks of Una.
Even as his body
pounds into her
in passionate gaming,
she wants it to be
Una there not him,
not Brian.
She lies there
allowing him his pleasure,
his need,
listening to his sighs,
and grunts,
and 4 minute workout.
Even as he shudders
himself to a big ******
she feels nothing,
but a tingle of regret
and unearned sweat.
He lies back on
his side of the bed,
breathless,
panting,
taking large gulps
of bedroom air.
She just looks up
gives the ceiling a stare.
How was it for you?
He asks eventually,
turning to gaze at her,
a look of satisfaction
on his face.
It was good,
she lies,
best yet.
He smiles,
and puts a hand
on her right ***
Have you heard
from that friend, Una?
He asks.
No I've not,
she lies,
looking at his eyes,
and how innocent
they are,
how childlike
he seems.
He tells her
of his day at work
in soft utters;
she listens on and off
thinking of the ***
she'd had with Una
that afternoon;
how hot and wet
she'd been,
needing a hot shower
to get clean.
She lets him talk on,
hoping he won't
want *** again that night;
she's not up to it,
all she wants
is sleep and rest,
not more ***
with him,
the 3 minute trier,
and boring pest.
Jun 29, 2016
Jun 29, 2016 at 1:13 AM UTC
Ant people is what they are
teeth clattering together
out-coming syllables of
insensitive, insufferable nonsense
Pinchers cleaning after a feed
Some revolting alien dialect
Smash them, then
into the gravel
back to the maze-caves of the Underworld
the holes from which they jitter and twitch
but then pause to stretch cold joints
long, black armor-limbs
blink blank eyes upon the new sun's light
They too bask in its rays, like I
awakening the mind for another grind
warming sleepy muscles to pursue crumbs of bread
Like I
So smash, no
let them crunch and spit out uselessness
Just play instead an in-head voice-over
a compilation of wonderer's revelations
Let them crawl, let them be
slowly exoskeletons shed to flesh
antenna's recede to shags of brown
framing lively eyes
pupils recognized as Human
Humane
Words are intent
should be meant as the sun
beams to progress the colony as one
We are the same
Feb 4, 2013
Feb 4, 2013 at 8:46 PM UTC
I want to meet a lady and to get my **** well shown
Instead of being a ****** and tossing on my own.
With her lips around my shaft to make me ******* moan.
******* on my bell end like a dog with a big bone.
Polishing my helmet to a shiny glossy tone.
So come on girls fat or thin even glass gets blown.
Even if its an older lass or any big fat slags
An old lady with a trolley or one with shopping bags.
A huge woman with hippo thighs a fat **** that ******* drags.
Big juicy melons to **** on like two large fleshy gags
an ugly toothless ***** or any old *** hags
So lets be fair and **** like ***** even smokers get the shags.
even if your homeless then we can surely meet.
And you have smelly clothing your in for a good treat.
I will get my **** out so you can taste my meat.
I'll **** you in an alleyway so we can be discrete.
I will *** inside your **** so you will feel the heat.
But It really comes something when you can have a *** out in the street.
If you want a bit of sparkle then its your **** i will sup.
And your *** is good then we'll definitely Hookup.
I'll release your big ***** from there double D size Cup
Licking on your cherrys just like a little pup.
I'll **** them like a lolly pop a sweet chuppa chupp.
If you want to have group *** then we'll have a 7up.
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 5:04 AM UTC
You walk with a cigarette adorning the corner of your mouth
What about you inspires me?
Your dark glasses that taunt my intelligence
My ability to read you
staved off annoyingly like throwing a daisy at a brick wall.
Unlike me, you pick up your feet when you walk,
Refusing the ‘just rolled out of bed shuffle’
You walk with a purposeful air that challenges those who pass you
And dares them to gaze at those shades for eyes coupled with bronze hair that shags out from under your snug hat like a fuzzy carpet which needs cleaning.
Tendrils of smoke intertwine with said hair,
If you were still, they might create together a halo, an aura around your head and add to your not so holy mystery.
But you move on
Always moving
Slipping from the corner of my left eye and sauntering on
On to your profound purpose
Or perhaps one not so purposeful at all.
Maybe you are just strolling to meet another with dark eyes and faded jeans to enjoy a simple white cigarette
Which adorns you both so nicely.
Jan 3, 2012
Jan 3, 2012 at 1:54 AM UTC
i love my vicees
they are addicted to me
Amsterdam shags
black coffee
i should try to resist you
not sure if i'm capable
to control an appetite so
insatiable
i abandon the thought
before it crosses my mind
i'm aware of my limitations
a realist you'll find
so i send another text
believing you'll reply
rehearsing my lines
knowing i can't
say goodbye
yes i love my vicees
they are good to me
helping my mind
stay steady
i'll put you down
when i'm good and ready
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 10:53 PM UTC
last night i went to the beach.
it was four degrees and i was shaking like the waves,
herons and pied shags darted overhead,
their long necks stretching out against the lavender sky.
my two friends were laughing at my sides, carefree,
i watched them snapping their heads back, chests expanding,
their glee echoing off the upturned sand,
my own joy echoing from my heart.
Jun 20, 2019
Jun 20, 2019 at 3:19 AM UTC
i roll my shags
fat and tight
took a lot of practice
to get them just right
i'd like an hour of your time
please forgive my persistence
as i listen to your stories
and absorb your existence
come sit with me on my back porch
i promise to be silent
tell me when they sent you to that special school
to find out why you were so violent
or when you got busted
for selling e
over 50 tabs
was that your first felony?
the one you won't tell
it's that scar on your calf
stitches for sure maybe a bite
let's save that for another night
let me roll you a ****
fat and tight
i want to get lost watching your lips move
now gimme a light
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 9:23 AM UTC
Maybe I left you baby?
Maybe I went for ****
Maybe I,m just sick of acting off our rags.
I ended up at the nearest bar some people were playing pool.
The barman was acting suspect i sat down on a stool.
I bravely attempted the crossword while really not giving a jot.
Four letter word from the heart, Do I love you? Do I not?
I lied that i needed ****
and cowardly left you to your pain.
I walked the quietness of the river and inhaled the rain soaked grain.
Maybe I left you baby,
Maybe I went for ****
Maybe I,m just sick of acting off our rags?!
I sauntered past interflora another cute *** reminder.
I did not call you once.
My head was on spin dry binder.
When i left the bar that day i finally walked away.
I knew if I returned to you'
You would assault me with your say!
I would nod on time as usual and yes babe every line.
Lying again, Never talking
And pretending love is fine.
Maybe I left you baby?
Maybe I went for ****
Maybe I,m just sick of acting off our rags.
I met a woman named muriel she found me sleeping in her car.
She invited me into her place and poured a welcome jar.
I am never coming back now!
This time it is for reals.
No more one for the road, Crying with alien faces and pleading sentimental deals.
No more worth it last hugs or blagging short notice shags.
No more chatting **** and pretending to go for ****
Maybe I left you baby?
Maybe I went for ****
Maybe I,m just sick of acting off our rags.
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 22, 2019 at 11:05 AM UTC