"ronan" poems
The smell of dirt envelopes me as i run down the street and turn the corner.
Sliding down the wet pavement i feel my bare feet rub raw.
i can taste blood from biting the insides of my cheeks, maybe even my tongue.
i finally escaped after so long.
In the distance i hear a dead girls name being called.
They dont really care i tell myself.
If they did they would be calling a different name.
Mine.
Its only a matter of time once the cops come, searching for a girl they will never find.
A girl who doesn’t exist.
Once upon a time there was a little boy.
He lived inside of a girls body, hiding under layers of soft, silky skin.
Under an itchy dress with sparkling gold thread that chafed his chest as he moved, leaving rashes across his sensitive shoulders.
Despite being pressed into the mold of a young girl, he managed to survive.
His long hair tumbling down his shoulders, in sheets of brown that shined with honey in the sun.
His eyelashes were long. His eyes were dewey.
Freckles sprinkled across his cheeks and small freckles on his arm.
His mother called them angel kisses.
That boy was me.
In first grade he got his hair cut short. His parents warned him that people might think he was a boy. That was okay.
It stayed that way until 4th grade. His hair was in a short bob, shaved on the side. His neighbors called him a **** One of them bullied him so he poured the kids sprite down his face.
The bully stomped on the boys toe and he bled. That was okay.
In 6th grade, he told his best friend a secret. He wasn’t a girl.
His best friend called him handsome.
She was the perfect friend.
Now the girl doesn’t exist. Her parents pretend she does. She has been gone for a long time.
She is dead. Her parents know that she is gone, but they think if they pretend enough, that she will come back, that if i am denied love and support i will eventually waste away into oblivion, and she will come back.
i’m still running, but now i yell out too.
i am here.
i am real.
I am Ronan
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 12:44 AM UTC
...
Darker than black
Newly folded laundry in stack
It's 19th of may
Everything went astray
I've searched beyond invisible lines
Reminisce the joy of Valentine's
Until it went a little strange
Distorted, glitch of change
Ten feet stepping on the wooden floor
Sneak in silence from backdoor
My mom's tulips still fresh on the table
My dad's toolbox now disabled
Visitors are kinda too funny
They have unique way of greeting my family
I noticed they had many luggage in them
I wonder how they come here without a car then
Tonight, the cold wind blows
Colder than a frozen rose
I missed the oven-fresh pie
Mom's apron is now red-dyed
Ronan loves watching tom and jerry
Today he watched live episode of same story
I run to him like how we play with our husky
But I tripped off and spill the glass of rye whisky
They help me to clean the mess
All I wanna do now is rest
I drained my energy playing
The game where I know I'm not winning
The guests are now leaving with smiles
Their boots stained linings of tiles
I couldn't wave goodbye
I'm too busy to give a sigh
It's cold here behind yellow light
uncomfortable and slightly tight
boredom reigns over here
still waiting for cops to be seer
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 9:13 AM UTC
The need for you burns my skin
The need to see you again draws me
I come to you, but alas for naught
I come to you, but you're attention escapes
You're life book has space for me
You have space, but only as a footnote.
I have been a gormless man,
Ibcome to you but ylwish for another.
My oaken refuge has burned to ash,
The warm breeze has become icy winds
Where has my refuge gone? my safe haven?
Where is this Ronan to go now?
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 25, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
When the spirit of the ancient Korean
Princess in her wooden armor
comes through the fog; Jeun-ye comes
back to me in Dan Gun's dreams
of the hills of the Spirits; | | |
Ronan at eternal war with their Shogun
Overlords - - she burns when she returns to me
from Ultima Thule through the stratosphere,
into where you & I wonder - --
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 2:40 PM UTC