one thing most evident about england,
well...
not that many birch trees (my favourite),
or pines...
birch treets as said to be the scounts,
they lay the ground for a forest,
the best i can experience
around here are foxes, no wolves...
and even the foxes as shattered...
a bit like the badgers...
mind you, we can have as many objective
truths, and sorta feel proud...
but i feel numb...
numbers don't add up in the category
of feeling...
i should really be standing
at some road juncation:
with excess applause...
i don't think that's necessary...
i can only state
a neo-gothic excavation began by
type o negative...
and the early death of
the lead singer....
then there's that excess of attire...
lead, and Pb...
as some seach: also contained
within: a leash...
me in a Turkish shop,
talking to the owner:
Papaturk... how i saved him money
when the local council
inquired why he provided the caravan
umbrella...
and hid the public bench...
5 months i haven't seen him...
we start speaking and it really is 5 months...
i talk about a month spent in Poland
and -18 temperatures...
he just keeps referecing 5 months...
i'm only buying 4 cans of beer,
who gives a **** about a biography?
i don't know if i half pretend or actually am
the one some might call: busy...
my eyes are elsewhere...
i keep looking for them like i might
turn to finding either heart or Brian...
one's a stone,
and the other a fat-sponge soaked in porridge...
yep... type o negative... just
when the jerry spinger show was taking off...
took goth to a new dimension,
i remained clad in the most believable grey
attire... the boring type...
and it's only that having experienced
a very rare traffic of soul-like expderiences...
did i become to realise
that such experiences are, well,
rather pointless...
or at least undermining everything
surrounding them...
god is a great concept, to motivate
the hazy fairies of the suggested approach...
and when it actually happens,
say: hear angels singing while to rob
the altar of its white cloth and lie under the
altar... checking for sure whether you
are hearing what you're hearing...
it thus becomes an existential
game, i.e. whether you "hear" or hear,
whether you "heard it" or heard it...
and whatever experience you may have had,
it's a bit pointless to state that you're
of a cultish calibre...
it just becomes a bit pointlesss...
you just see selling potatoes
and Korans as more important...
then it becomes a case of:
well: why beging with anything at all?
why not call all the saints mental imbeciles?
why not begin there?
i say that because, given the teaching,
as in: forgiving your enemies,
has not compass in western society,
western society, if isolated,
would be equivalent to a man / woman talking
to themselves in the streets of Beijing...
i say i could have had an experience,
but the way i have been itemised, scrutinised,
i'd gladly believe in a crowd of people
nibbling at a mystery...
actually experiencing a mystery gives you nothing!
i'm all for democracy, all for chaos...
nothing happened, i didn't exist...
it's easier that way...
that's why i feel no affinity with western
culture... it's just a load of ******* to me...
i could have said:
i heard angels singing,
but given the so called "sanity" membrane
of humanity, to create an omni-entity,
to later discard it...
evidently there's no precise vector linking
(a) to (b)...
in england they call this
case a "mental" illness...
i really wish my brain had the capacity
to create placebo experiences so pontent
that i'd sorta stop following in my father's
footsteps and becoming a roofer...
then again, he was sentenced to labour
in an industrial complex of steelworks,
look how that frail and senile pope
looked like clinging to his throne,
slobbering with his last speeches, "saintly"
john paul ii...
i was very fond of pope emeritus,
all the grannies in poland said:
take, that, thing, from the throne...
no easier way to overcome the saints
than have a pope-saint...
who really wants the spotlight...
but should be killed by strobe-light and something
translating epilepsy into a stroke...
as one bound to an exodus
i have no allegiance to the current folklore of
my original people...
i don't know why i kept the tongue:
apparently such things are hard to erase,
being first generation, i guess only with
an english wife i'd be able to shut up...
hence my english having a "subconscious"
undercurrent of polish...
and i live in an anglican country...
oh there are, there are differences
between a catholic nation and a protestant
nation...
as there are differences between northen
catholic and southern protestant...
no wonder i was given a "medical"
noun schizoid...
encompass all of that, in a single generation?
you'd go cuckoo!
but then again i'm playing
tennis with a brick wall...
i don't expect pity, i don't expect empathy,
in just expect nothing, no body...
we're all bound to wear the shoes
we tire with against the pavement...
but ridicule is the one thing that ****** me off...
i'd prefer a comforting joke...
ridicule is something devoid of what is required
for a passion, even a passion scrutinised and staged
by a stand-up comedian in sarcasm...
ridule is a bit like science,
already lost to the schism of its counterpart of
falsification...
so many truths! so many truths!
i guess that's what philosophy is about,
apart from being a mediator of science with / vs.
humanism, it's the membrane segregating the two...
you can clearly cheat with science,
you can ascribe fake statistics with science,
tell them 1 in 5 women were *****
as part of the **** culture phenomenon,
when someone else states: more like 1 in 165...
but you can't exactly find a person who
lied about reading Tolstoy's war and peace....
only because a person who has read that
piece of work: isn't exactly keen to talk about it;
from experience:
i've read don quixote... and i'm not that keen
on giving a proof of having read it...
that's my own c.c.t.v., not yours.
you can find that a lot, one a person
reads the equivalent of 5 Islamic columns / elements...
say.... rather than completing the Hajj...
reading the Brothers Karamazov...
you really don't get that much
conversation...
reading a book as the established order
of the 19th century, read in the 21st century...
you start to look at your contempories
a bit suspiciously... like they really are devoid
of acknowledging a worthwhile experience with you...
i started to look at most people, my contemporaries,
at bit like walking into a bathroom showroom...
i guess i thought about brushing my teeth
and talking to them so they could pick up a scent
of wild strawberries oozing from my mouth...
i read the **** books, i don't need to compete
for being able to talk about them...
given the books... it's very hard to talk about them...
you don't really get to talk about
these columns...
well, unless it's the Koran,
then you really get to talk... you get to shout, even,
and shoot a throng of pigeons while you're at it...
apologies, no apologies... yada...
or as one puts it (talking queeny beeny) -
to the great artistic mafia of Poles...
somehow connected...
the whole: blood thicker than water...
oh i'm about to dump this
mongrel soul and treat it as:
a Mickiewicz might:
of the tongue, of the body, toward the soul
cleansing...
i probably will not like the end
results... but that's better than what i have now...
i don't like to have a mongrel soul
trapped inside a mono-ethnic body...
i tried the whole utopian masquerade of
living the dream, i.e. "living the dream",
it didn't exactly work out as western politicians
liked to have hoped it might...
and that's the really sad part,
i really wished it could have worked...
now, whenever i think about *******
someone of my ethnic compendium
whether by body represented, or by soul encouraged...
i just think it's ******...
it's like the culture i express
has encouraged that i move to
south africa and **** someone so far removed
from my experiences...
it really does feel like ******...
what a sick sick world to be gravity prone to too..
but hey! we have the numbers...
try to be cosmopolitan for a bit,
whether that's in London, or Edinburgh...
it soon emerges that the Greek city-states of
modern capitals are surrounded by
****** prone cannibals...
and more importantly: philistines.
sure, for a second you can almost
be persuaded by atheistic arguments...
as those took hold the imagination of people
in the early 21st century...
i just look at man and see god laughing...
and since the case is: the ugliness of a godless man...
well...
the crucifix is hardly
the N on the compass...
but since the crucifix aimed at the N of the compass...
the northen barbarians said a joke
that made the crucifix something worth
imitating in the Philipines for a worth of spectacle...
and elsewhere, skog av krux -
oh, it's a very short joke...
blod ørn... ****** eagle...
given that so many imitate being crucified...
can only signify it being a complete and utter joke...
one hour in a järn-jungfru
would make up 2000 years worth of history;
or a scene from a Sioux scalping stone...
we're ingenious like that...
and yes: blod ørn - blod o(h)-ern...
i prefer the german blut adler...
so many moustaches, and other periphenelia
of attire, such as a bow-tie...
to translate the bewilderment
that a latin inherited grapheme can't
be the smallest unit of sound, given the vowel...
or how the grapheme became translated
for the worth of diacritical marks...
æ and œ created
the basis for diacritical marks being applied...
as with the already stated example...
ørn is derived from œrn...
tongue-tie twisting like a serpent around
its suffocated prey...
spine bound to crunch, and defeatist chess...
we can never say why it was applied
to the signifier: umlaut (ü) - best explanation
is a hidden arithmetic... and the compensation
of omicron-macron...
but that's just a guess...
science is anything but holy...
given the fact that it's so easily manipulated...
and falsified, and cheated...
the samde torturous instruments that defended
religion, are but replaced in the name of science...
as a life bound to be a freedom,
with labour inside the mind that is relentless,
and in dire need of change...
where democracy, or autocracy, as nothing more than
slaves of the arch-cardinal, known as status quo.
