"pps" poems - Hello Poetry

Dear Lesley, I'm sorry to have to do this through a letter, but last time your crying just humiliated the other couples in your group session. Although, this might save embarrassment, and make me look better, now that we are both sleeping with other people. (If you can call conjugal visits to your ex-husband people.) This letter may well be the last memory you will have of me, if your social worker lets you keep it as a memento anyway. I am leaving, and I won't be looking back either. I am sure you won't be surprised or terribly upset. It is completely your fault, no doubt about it! Mainly, it is your long history with lying problems, even more than your alcoholism, that keeps me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you. (I told you I forgave you for sleeping with your boss, but I guess I never really did.) You would be so much better off finding someone that can accept the emotional baggage that you carry around, the ones with the orange tags. Maybe your analyst can explain that to you better than I can. I must say, I will miss some of the exciting times we had together. Like when you got so drunk and flirted with my father at our family Christmas dinner. My mom has still not gotten the red wine stain out of the tablecloth where you puked on it. I'm glad this is finally done and we can go our separate ways. I think you will find someone else with whom to have an unhealthy relationship based on physical attraction and a passion for strip-club bars. Hopefully, this will happen incredibly far away. Good riddance, and Happy New Year. PS Maybe you should just go back to being a lesbian. PPS I have no idea where you parked your car.

0

Jan 12, 2012

Jan 12, 2012 at 2:23 PM UTC

john-mahoney

a letter to a friend wishing her a Happy New Year

Dear Lesley, I'm sorry to have to do this through a letter, but last time your crying just humiliated the other couples in your group session. Although, this might save embarrassment, and make me look better, now that we are both sleeping with other people. (If you can call conjugal visits to your ex-husband people.) This letter may well be the last memory you will have of me, if your social worker lets you keep it as a memento anyway. I am leaving, and I won't be looking back either. I am sure you won't be surprised or terribly upset. It is completely your fault, no doubt about it! Mainly, it is your long history with lying problems, even more than your alcoholism, that keeps me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you. (I told you I forgave you for sleeping with your boss, but I guess I never really did.) You would be so much better off finding someone that can accept the emotional baggage that you carry around, the ones with the orange tags. Maybe your analyst can explain that to you better than I can. I must say, I will miss some of the exciting times we had together. Like when you got so drunk and flirted with my father at our family Christmas dinner. My mom has still not gotten the red wine stain out of the tablecloth where you puked on it. I'm glad this is finally done and we can go our separate ways. I think you will find someone else with whom to have an unhealthy relationship based on physical attraction and a passion for strip-club bars. Hopefully, this will happen incredibly far away. Good riddance, and Happy New Year. PS Maybe you should just go back to being a lesbian. PPS I have no idea where you parked your car.

37

Who would have thought, what began as a harmless crush could transform into an undying friendship. From being just the ‘pretty face’ (handsome actually) to being the most positive person in my galaxy. But let me take it slowly Back-track because when we first met, I couldn’t have imagined it like that. I don’t recall how it begun. An epiphany. A just like that moment. But, still, I held my pen and thought I would write to you. I felt the need to try and tell you, about all of the things you do. About your stupid banter and pulling my leg. About your annoying laughter that I hope never ceases, I beg. I stop, and I smile. And I say thank you, because you're the most refreshing of men. You are touching lives, and I want you to know, I am blessed, and speechless, and full of pride to tell you Happy Birthday. PS – Thank you for existing. PPS – You are getting old, yo!

0

Sep 30, 2014

Sep 30, 2014 at 1:50 AM UTC

tanya-chaudhary

Happy Birthday. And Thank you for existing. And I love you and ...

Who would have thought, what began as a harmless crush could transform into an undying friendship. From being just the ‘pretty face’ (handsome actually) to being the most positive person in my galaxy. But let me take it slowly Back-track because when we first met, I couldn’t have imagined it like that. I don’t recall how it begun. An epiphany. A just like that moment. But, still, I held my pen and thought I would write to you. I felt the need to try and tell you, about all of the things you do. About your stupid banter and pulling my leg. About your annoying laughter that I hope never ceases, I beg. I stop, and I smile. And I say thank you, because you're the most refreshing of men. You are touching lives, and I want you to know, I am blessed, and speechless, and full of pride to tell you Happy Birthday. PS – Thank you for existing. PPS – You are getting old, yo!

23

Switch off switch on one more mod con' what is life without electric curlers vibrating pillows or clocks that glow in the dark? A long time ago when John was switched on a younger mod con' here and gone in a flash, cash was cash not a promissory note not service charge because there's no fuckin' chance where there's no fuckin' hope ah I lost the thread computer tells me conversation dead and to get a life or switch off my reply **** off Mother told me, 'son no blasphemy' and here's me cursing to all and sundry ps, I hate Monday, but that's not the end of it mod con's are put upon this earth to destroy conversations and culture, hairdo's and weirdos and who knows that last one may not be true Mother told me, 'don't trust politicians or men in pigtails' that was a long time before Cameron came along and he is most definitely a 'mod con should be in a chain gang but we don't have them so we put him in Number ten which is fenced in anyway. pps I still hate Monday switch off

0

Aug 25, 2016

Aug 25, 2016 at 2:44 AM UTC

john-edward-smallshaw

Seven hundred and fifty yards of Thursday (abridged)

Switch off switch on one more mod con' what is life without electric curlers vibrating pillows or clocks that glow in the dark? A long time ago when John was switched on a younger mod con' here and gone in a flash, cash was cash not a promissory note not service charge because there's no fuckin' chance where there's no fuckin' hope ah I lost the thread computer tells me conversation dead and to get a life or switch off my reply **** off Mother told me, 'son no blasphemy' and here's me cursing to all and sundry ps, I hate Monday, but that's not the end of it mod con's are put upon this earth to destroy conversations and culture, hairdo's and weirdos and who knows that last one may not be true Mother told me, 'don't trust politicians or men in pigtails' that was a long time before Cameron came along and he is most definitely a 'mod con should be in a chain gang but we don't have them so we put him in Number ten which is fenced in anyway. pps I still hate Monday switch off

40

you are an *** I made a poem you yelled at me Evann and I said, **** YOU LOSER CHILL YOUR **** and he said like a pshyco "No U LoSEr" and now I am forced to take desperate measures **** you, -the entire site Ps, we reported you to the mods :) pps, hey could you guys knock some sense into this man he blocked us **** ppps, ur mommie said you can't raid area 51 bc u bulli me :))))))))))))))))

0

Jul 22, 2019

Jul 22, 2019 at 8:02 PM UTC

Thatoneguy

Dear Janry Purplebuilt

you are an *** I made a poem you yelled at me Evann and I said, **** YOU LOSER CHILL YOUR **** and he said like a pshyco "No U LoSEr" and now I am forced to take desperate measures **** you, -the entire site Ps, we reported you to the mods :) pps, hey could you guys knock some sense into this man he blocked us **** ppps, ur mommie said you can't raid area 51 bc u bulli me :))))))))))))))))

13