"porgie" poems - Hello Poetry

The owl and the ***** cat went to sea in a boat without an oar When the boat sailed home the cat was alone and the owl was no more Hey ****** ****** I’ll tell you a riddle and I bet you’ll never guess That Jack B. Nimble was Jack B. Quick beneath Miss Muffet’s dress Little Sol Hornstein sat next to Maureen eating his Christmas pie He stuck in his fork and pulled out some pork And said ‘what a bad Jew am I’. Wee Willie Winkie Tiptoes through the house, Upstairs, downstairs Quiet as a mouse. Closing every window, Locking every door, Drinking all his daddy’s beer And barfing on the floor The hippy dippy spider went uptown to score He got a bag of **** from the hippy dippy store He smoked up all that **** with his hippy dippy friends So the hippy dippy spider went uptown again There was a crooked man Who walked a crooked mile He met a crooked woman Who wore a crooked smile He brought her to his crooked house And upon his crooked bed He had his crooked way with her (And now the ***** is dead) (And from an old restroom wall) Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry When the boys came out to play (He kissed them too cuz' he was gay)

0

Jun 25, 2011

Jun 25, 2011 at 9:08 PM UTC

patrick-mcfarland

A Few Tortured Nursery Rhymes

The owl and the ***** cat went to sea in a boat without an oar When the boat sailed home the cat was alone and the owl was no more Hey ****** ****** I’ll tell you a riddle and I bet you’ll never guess That Jack B. Nimble was Jack B. Quick beneath Miss Muffet’s dress Little Sol Hornstein sat next to Maureen eating his Christmas pie He stuck in his fork and pulled out some pork And said ‘what a bad Jew am I’. Wee Willie Winkie Tiptoes through the house, Upstairs, downstairs Quiet as a mouse. Closing every window, Locking every door, Drinking all his daddy’s beer And barfing on the floor The hippy dippy spider went uptown to score He got a bag of **** from the hippy dippy store He smoked up all that **** with his hippy dippy friends So the hippy dippy spider went uptown again There was a crooked man Who walked a crooked mile He met a crooked woman Who wore a crooked smile He brought her to his crooked house And upon his crooked bed He had his crooked way with her (And now the ***** is dead) (And from an old restroom wall) Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry When the boys came out to play (He kissed them too cuz' he was gay)

52

Evil Tales So you think, you know who I am, I killed Mary, and ate her little lamb. I killed Goldilocks and ate the three bears, then dumped the porridge down the stairs. I pushed Humpty Dumpty off that wall, I'm the reason for his great fall. I'm the one who killed Bambi's mother, that deer tasted like no other. I put the poison in Snow White's apple, the blood from the seven dwarfs, I put in every red Snapple. I chopped off all of Rapunzel's hair, yes I know that wasn't fair. I'm the father of Cinderella's step sisters, after midnight I gave her some cold sore blisters. I put Sleeping Beauty fast asleep, then ran her over in my new Jeep. Georgie Porgie kissed the girls and made them cry, that is the reason, he had to die. Little Miss Muffet ate her curds and whey, it was my spider who had a Muffet buffet. Jack and Jill went up the hill, I pushed Jack down and gave Jill a thrill. Little Red Riding Hood went to Grandma's house, then the big bad Allen pulled up her red blouse. The Three Little Pigs never had a chance, I huffed and puffed and ate pork til I **** my pants. This old man, he played one, knick, knack, paddy whack, then my dog ate his thumb, There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe, then one day, I filled it with crazy glue. I killed Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, inside my head is very, very scary.

0

Sep 26, 2013

Sep 26, 2013 at 2:59 AM UTC

allen-wilbert

Evil Tales

Evil Tales So you think, you know who I am, I killed Mary, and ate her little lamb. I killed Goldilocks and ate the three bears, then dumped the porridge down the stairs. I pushed Humpty Dumpty off that wall, I'm the reason for his great fall. I'm the one who killed Bambi's mother, that deer tasted like no other. I put the poison in Snow White's apple, the blood from the seven dwarfs, I put in every red Snapple. I chopped off all of Rapunzel's hair, yes I know that wasn't fair. I'm the father of Cinderella's step sisters, after midnight I gave her some cold sore blisters. I put Sleeping Beauty fast asleep, then ran her over in my new Jeep. Georgie Porgie kissed the girls and made them cry, that is the reason, he had to die. Little Miss Muffet ate her curds and whey, it was my spider who had a Muffet buffet. Jack and Jill went up the hill, I pushed Jack down and gave Jill a thrill. Little Red Riding Hood went to Grandma's house, then the big bad Allen pulled up her red blouse. The Three Little Pigs never had a chance, I huffed and puffed and ate pork til I **** my pants. This old man, he played one, knick, knack, paddy whack, then my dog ate his thumb, There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe, then one day, I filled it with crazy glue. I killed Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, inside my head is very, very scary.

35

Hie Yamaha Wegman ****** voyager, voted vonage valuable, unrepentant TIME Magazine subscriber. Spotify sportsman Snapchat smartly. Sleuth slenderman silences Shutterfly schvitzing. Saxby sassy Santander sais sage rues rudimentary router rotorooter. Royale Rococco rigged remarkably regular referee reefers red reddit reeder recuperating. Reconnaissance recluse really rabid. QVC quotient quoting, quo quoi quivering quite quirky. Quisling quipped. Quintuplets quintessentially quiet. Quids Quicken questions. Quartermaster qualified quaint quaffing quadrilateral Pythons. Pyrex pylons put purdy purposeful puny punsters punching. Pumpkin pumice publicized prudential protean pros properly pronouncing prolific prodigies. Proletariats professors' problematic. Pro privileges prioritized. Principle primates prevaricate. Preppy pregnant, praying prattler possibly Porgie. Poseidon pooping poodle ponders poppycock. Plum? Polite poison pods ply pitiful pinterest. Pinhead Pillsbury pillager Pi. Pigskin pierce petsmart pests permanently. Perdition percolates peppered PennState pedigreed PearlJam Patagonian. Pastor pastes passion passably. Papas' paginated orbitz okayed. Nutty node needs money. Next netzero nee naugahyde. Nattering nationwide nabob Moxie Molly McGee. Monosodium livingsocial joyus je kickstarter. Identityguard Huffington GMO. Gluten Glutamate footloose fancy free footlocker. Fingerhut fetishistic fabrication Cingular.

0

Feb 3, 2018

Feb 3, 2018 at 9:47 PM UTC

matthew-scott-harris2p

Just Mien Pap Smeared Vapid Yawping

Hie Yamaha Wegman ****** voyager, voted vonage valuable, unrepentant TIME Magazine subscriber. Spotify sportsman Snapchat smartly. Sleuth slenderman silences Shutterfly schvitzing. Saxby sassy Santander sais sage rues rudimentary router rotorooter. Royale Rococco rigged remarkably regular referee reefers red reddit reeder recuperating. Reconnaissance recluse really rabid. QVC quotient quoting, quo quoi quivering quite quirky. Quisling quipped. Quintuplets quintessentially quiet. Quids Quicken questions. Quartermaster qualified quaint quaffing quadrilateral Pythons. Pyrex pylons put purdy purposeful puny punsters punching. Pumpkin pumice publicized prudential protean pros properly pronouncing prolific prodigies. Proletariats professors' problematic. Pro privileges prioritized. Principle primates prevaricate. Preppy pregnant, praying prattler possibly Porgie. Poseidon pooping poodle ponders poppycock. Plum? Polite poison pods ply pitiful pinterest. Pinhead Pillsbury pillager Pi. Pigskin pierce petsmart pests permanently. Perdition percolates peppered PennState pedigreed PearlJam Patagonian. Pastor pastes passion passably. Papas' paginated orbitz okayed. Nutty node needs money. Next netzero nee naugahyde. Nattering nationwide nabob Moxie Molly McGee. Monosodium livingsocial joyus je kickstarter. Identityguard Huffington GMO. Gluten Glutamate footloose fancy free footlocker. Fingerhut fetishistic fabrication Cingular.

6

So MARY loved a little lamb— Especially on her plate. But watch out, Mary: too much lamb Can make you overweight. HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on the wall. Learn from his mistake. If you are not mindful, you Could also fall and break. A TISKET, a TASKET, Forget about a basket. Do what you are told Or your folks will blow a gasket! JACK SPRAT could eat no fat. Too much fat could **** him. But mounds of veggies on his plate Certainly don't thrill him. If MRS. SPRAT could eat no lean And just the fatty parts, Wasn’t her cholesterol level Jumping off the charts? MISTRESS MARY, quite contrary, Brags about her garden, Which, she adds, is quite unique. **** Oops, beg your pardon. Are silver bells and cockle shells Much to brag about? I guess they are more practical When there is a drought. JACK B. NIMBLE was pretty slick, Although he was a nut. Don’t play around with candlesticks, Or you could burn your **** EENY MEENY MINY MOE... Invest your money and watch it grow. It’s good to save and not to owe, EENY MEENY MINY MOE... GEORGIE PORGIE made the girls cry Every time he kissed ‘em. They didn’t like that chauvinist And the way he dissed ‘em. Did JACK AND JILL go up the hill Really to get water? What kind of H2O Would make him swerve and totter? If these days PETER put his wife In a pumpkin shell, He'd never hear the end of it; Boy, she’d give him hell! - by Bob B

0

Oct 13, 2016

Oct 13, 2016 at 8:10 AM UTC

bob-b

21st Century Nursery Rhymes

So MARY loved a little lamb— Especially on her plate. But watch out, Mary: too much lamb Can make you overweight. HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on the wall. Learn from his mistake. If you are not mindful, you Could also fall and break. A TISKET, a TASKET, Forget about a basket. Do what you are told Or your folks will blow a gasket! JACK SPRAT could eat no fat. Too much fat could **** him. But mounds of veggies on his plate Certainly don't thrill him. If MRS. SPRAT could eat no lean And just the fatty parts, Wasn’t her cholesterol level Jumping off the charts? MISTRESS MARY, quite contrary, Brags about her garden, Which, she adds, is quite unique. **** Oops, beg your pardon. Are silver bells and cockle shells Much to brag about? I guess they are more practical When there is a drought. JACK B. NIMBLE was pretty slick, Although he was a nut. Don’t play around with candlesticks, Or you could burn your **** EENY MEENY MINY MOE... Invest your money and watch it grow. It’s good to save and not to owe, EENY MEENY MINY MOE... GEORGIE PORGIE made the girls cry Every time he kissed ‘em. They didn’t like that chauvinist And the way he dissed ‘em. Did JACK AND JILL go up the hill Really to get water? What kind of H2O Would make him swerve and totter? If these days PETER put his wife In a pumpkin shell, He'd never hear the end of it; Boy, she’d give him hell! - by Bob B

49

Georgia Porgie pudding and pie? Nah! More like... Crazy, crazy, deluded and shy, Kisses the boys who make her cry. Cos when other girls come out to play, All those boys run away.

0

Aug 1, 2015

Aug 1, 2015 at 5:22 AM UTC

sorcha

If Georgie Porgie was a girl...

Georgia Porgie pudding and pie? Nah! More like... Crazy, crazy, deluded and shy, Kisses the boys who make her cry. Cos when other girls come out to play, All those boys run away.

6