When children are abused I cant help but feel so bad and cry for them. When children are abused they dont know what is happening especially if its your own parents or parent. They dont know because of the shock and **** they are going through. All they know at that moment is that they are getting yelled or or getting charged at and they know they are going to be beaten with something. They have the shock and there heart is racing very fast. They dont know whats going to happen next they dont know if they are going be in horrific pain to the piont they cant move or not. All they know what to do is do exactly do what the person is doing to them what they say with out answer anything but yes and  do it. If they dont there will be more horrific pain. With all this happening to them knowing that right then all they feel is physical pain. Later in life they figure out that it wasn't just physical it was emotional and mental to. How was it mental and emotional by knowing that there own parent or parents did that to them. It haunts them for the rest of their lifes more so if it happens more then once. It makes them feel like they can never trust anybody in there lifes ever again. They build a wall up and dont let alot of people in because they are afraid of getting hurt again. Most kids end up in fostercare for what there parents did to them. So when they are there in the fostercare home do you think they feel safe and happy? If you thought yes you are wrong they are more scared then ever because they have strangers around them and no one they know. The foster parents may say your safe and hug you but you still dont feel safe and loved because  they dont have people around them that they know love them. Most of the time they just want there parents although they just got abused and but through all that pain. Its becuase most of the time they are not themselves. They are either drunk or high. The kids know that and they know that there parents must be nice when they are sober becuase they have seen there friends parents nice to them. When children are being abused when they are young they most likely dont ever wanna go home they want to be at school or somewhere they are happy. When all that is taken away from them all they want to be is home in the abusive place becuase thats where they realized was the most comforting safest place is at home in there room. Most of the time its either friends or a sibling that calls the police becuase thats all they know what to do. Usally its a sibling that is either scared and wants help or is treated better then the one that is getting abused. If the child that goes away to a foster home with out a sibling. She is more likely to get scared and put a shield up towards anybody that she doesnt know and trust. She most likely wont talk to anybody. She will cry most of the day because she feels like she is alone and doesn't have anyone around her. Even when the other foster kids and parents are there and willing to calm her down and comfort her. She wont let them because she wants someone she can trust and she knows to calm her down and comfort her and hold her. The simple words coming out of someone they knows mouth "Its going to be ok I am here for you to hold you comfort you to calm you down when you are upset." Those simple words to a child meen the world to them when they got abused and are taken away from the situation. Those words may seem nothing to you but to that child it meens everything more then you can imagine unless you went through it. You went through it like me I wrote this because I know people that have got abused just like me. I wrote this because I know how it feels to be be abused by your parents and then feel like you have no one until those words are said then you feel like you have someone. That its going to be ok and someone is finally going to treat you the you deserved to be treated loved cared for and supported no matter what you do in life. When you have the right people in your life you dont realize what your life was like back then until you have the right people in your life and they show you the true meening of life happiness and love and trust. Although you have the happiness love and trust your past abuse or abuses still are there for the rest of your life. Its ok though because you know what not to do to your children and what to do to your children. You can raise them right by showing them you care love and want happiness for them and they can always trust you for anything. If its for those special words of if its for adivce. They will always know you are there for them no matter what. even if you think they dont because they are doing something you dont like they still love care and want happiness for you. So what you can do is stop child abuse from happening with your kids!!!!

little one cheer up.
life is pure an warm.
be strong little one.
some time people
say bad thing to
other people.
listen little one?
1. you are  good person an have good heart
2. people love you for you.
3. important share love understanding to other.
4. stand tall be self.
5. yes let people  know they are wrong at time ,but in nice way,not in bad way.
6. be brave an be strong toward goals in  life.
7. do whats important for you find a  hobby that you like, ride a bike
write story or poems, help people meet there goal, or shareing your
time   with someone that sad help them over the  hurt .
8. it ok to reach out for help an talk to people.mom ,dad, friends
everyone  get  sad some at  time. this is life we have high  an lows piont.
in life . we just pick up the pieces an go on.
9.love self . and love other.
10. when loveing  someone set them  free at time.
so little one true love  is true when bird fly home again.
11. respect your self for how you are.
so little  one the   world is a big place .
be happy not sad .
on this road call life
share the love of peace
share time with other.
let people know you care
my little angels of life.
you are my  flower of life.
respect your self an other.
little one cheer up  life
good.

SHARE THIS WITH EVERY CHILD
TO LET HIM& HER KNOW
LIFE IS GOOD

At this point, I can't tell the difference between love, and pain.
Or between my heart, and my brain.
Or between my tears, and drops of rain.

At this point, I can't tell the difference between dark, and light.
Or between wrong, and right.
Or between blindness, and sight.

At this point, I can't tell the difference between you, and me.
Were the same, you see.
We both just want to be free.

I traveled a long way to see a better day but all I found was loneliness and dismay I poured my heart out to those who wouldn't listen to what I had to say I came to Wyoming to brake horses and maybe steal a heart but since I ben in cody I haven't seen a sunrise yet all Ive had is misfortune and regret I was held up by gun piont on a shore of a river bank I tried to help a kid to learn but his anger made my heart sank  there was to much wild in him to tame so I left that ranch and hung  my head in shame I seen buffalo and the hot springs I seen the north fork and what the called weather brings but since I ben in cody I havent seen a sunrise yet  theres hard times I can't seem to kick and wounds I can't seem to lick I would pack up and leave if I had a chance it's not like the movies filled with gun smoke and romance I wish I never came and theres nobody to blame but since I ben in cody I haven't seen a sunrise yet

when I am all alone in my room it's peaceful physically. Although mentally my head is so busy and loud its not funny. I tend to stare off into space and think about my mom and and dad actually my whole biological family. How there not there for me and never have been unless it was to have something to be blamed on me even if I didnt do it. I would take the blame for it and move on hurt in everyway you could imagine. Hurt to the piont where I could let go of them and never look back again. Although I just keep going back back to get there approval over every little thing. So I can just feel there love even if it hurt me I knew it was still love love from them. As I live with a non bio family member I think I am wasting alot of time by hurting myself and them alot. When I have a family right where I am that loves me like I was there biological family memeber. There child and there sister. I dont need to go through all the pain I put myself into to get the love I am looking for I have it right where I am. The parents treat me just like there children. The kids they treat me like there own sisters and brother. I believe I was sent through all the things I was sent through so I could know and feel what a real family feels like. Like conconditional love and disapline. They consider me one of there children when they introduce me to someone they already know they introduce me as there daughter. I know that they love me and would do anything to protect me from any harm at all no matter what I know if my husband was beating me or my children my mom would kick his *** tell he couldnt move and would go to jail for it. I know thats how much they love me and same thing with my dad. Of course I still love my biological parents I always will but I know 100% I am safe, wanted blame free when its not my fault and loved right where I am. For me to be able to move on and heal my wounds my biological family did to me I have to let them go. That doesnt meen I wont ever get to see them it meens not putting myself out there to see them and in the end getting hurt. I have to remind myself if they want to see me they will call me I don't have to call them and set myself up for hurt. Even if they don't call me and don'twant to see me I now that I didnt do anything wrong. I have a family right here to love me and give me the attention I need that I never had. To give me advice when I need it to guide me in the right path to disapline me into a strong independant women. So when its time to flap my wings and fly I can do it on my own and do strong. Stronger then I even imagined I can ever be before I met Kelly and Carl my true parents. The ones that have shown me the true meening of life, family and love. They have shown me I don't need the extra baggage on me and need my biological parents to approve every little thing I do. That I don't need to get hurt by my biological parents and family and be blamed for every little thing my parents did while I was a child I can live through life not feeling guilty for taking the blame for that because I know it wasnt my fault I was just a child being put through hell and back. Shoved from one home to another and blamed for my biological parents drugs and alcohol abuse. I can let all of it go and live and soon flap my wings and fly my life the way it should have been flown in the begining. How do I let go of all the extra baggage is support from my true family and my true friends. I would never be able to get through life without them.

Some nights I lay awake thinking about my day or about my life and I wonder did I do anything to see what I have seen to expeirence what I have experienced. I tell myself no I havent but that is not the reason why I have seen what I have seen and I have experienced what I have experienced. I know that I was put on this earth for a reason and who put me on this earth and that is God himself. He wanted to show me and have me experience what I have for many reasons. I may not know all the reasons and may never know all the reasons but I know some. I know that God wants me to become a great strong women of him and show people the right path to take in life. I may not know all the ways to the right path but I know alot of them. For instance drinking alcohol is a horrible thing to do. It messes up your life so much to the piont where you may not even exist to people that love you and you love. Yes those poeple will always love you and you will always love them no matter what but they pretend you dont even exist so they dont get hurt because they know you can do better in life. When you have family and friends by your side each and every step of the way it is so much easier you think. If it is an addiction or just life no matter who is at your side other then God it is not easier. He will guide you be there for you catch you when you fall and pick you right back up. Yes family and friends is a thing in life that you do need but not as much as God. (John 3:16 For God so�loved the world he gave his only begotten son for who so ever believed in him shall not parish but have ever lasting life.) So if you dont know him I deeply and strongly encourage you to get to know him and ask him into your heart. If I have learned one thing its that life is pretty much impossible without him well thats what it seems to me and my life. Everyone is different there lifes are to. For all the things I have seen and experienced I have needed him for either guidence, faith, or support. It has always been easier to me having him there each and everytime I have needed him. Even if the answer wasn't the answer I was looking for he has been there for me. There is a few more things like medications for mental illnesses. There is no such thing most of the time with peoples behavior its because the person wants attention from people they love. Some people were shown the only way to seek attention is doing dangerous behavior and making negitive choices. You have choices oppertunities in life to make the right decisions and you have oppertunities chioces to make the wrong. Let me tell you will know when you make the wrong choices and the right because it shows in your life. You dont need medication you need God he will give you the attention and wisdom you are seeking. When your family and friends are not there for you giving you what you need. I have had times in my life where I have had to go to him instead of my family or friends for wisdom and attention. He is a really good source and person to go to when you need wisdom and attention. He is also there when you feel alone and depressed you may feel alone but you are not alone he is right there beside you. You may feel that this obsticle in your life is impossible to get over its not just pray ask for help he will help you in ways you would never ask for or even imagine. He is such a great person the greatest person you will ever have in your life. He will always be there for you even if you slip more then once just ask for forgiveness and he will forgive you each and everytime you ask for it. You will never have to think about your slip ever again for when he forgives you he lets go never remebers it again. You may ask for forgiveness from your family and they may hold it against you forever but he will never do that to his children. Remember this always he is with you each and every step of the way and will always be there for you. He has always been there for me.

I want meet laugh and fall in love
Meet love at that piont where time stops and the heart forgets its song..
Where my eyes stop to realise they have been blind this whole time..
To meet and know there is no more goodbyes...
To meet laugh and fall, fall in love.

I want to stare into space and open doors with my mind.
Teleport to a realm where its just you and me, love.
Where we hold hands and dance even when your not around.
I want to dance sing and be in love

I need to heal from all the times before when love went wrong.
To erase the pain and find i'm free in love
Be released from bound existance and explore life in the name of love..
For love's my soul favourite food.. I want to aspire to love.

I want to dream, live and breathe in love.
And later when the time is right with all my heart I will make love. And hold baby love in my arms and rock love to sleep. From love you came and love you are. Kisses

to me he is human.
a tad more human than the rest of us
he is the sunrise i long to see
and the sunset i know so well
he is the first star i see at night
he is what i wish for upon that star
he is the song you never get turned off of hearing
or the place you go  that never seems to get dull
his voice sounds of adolescence and desire
his body as gentle as the ripples of the ocean at night
do i dare dip my toes in?
do i dare dip my toes in know the waves are coming
not knowing what lies beneath
he is so much like the ocean
beautiful
powerful
gentle
so unknown
why do we love the ocean so much
is it because of its beauty
or because its one thing on this God forsaken plant we see so much of but really know nothing about  
is that why i love him
the wanting a curiosity of knowing what i see all the time
he is my breaking piont
you are the curly headed boy who broke me

I cannot describe just how It feels
Heading outward on my wheels
Delìvering parcels everywhere
Traveling along without a care.

I start my day up on the wood
That's were I live it feels so good
Before I turn on the ignition key
First things first its a cup of tea.

Then I am off to my very first stop
A road in shard end a floristry shop
Then I drive to another place
A corner house on a council estate.

Then I move on to Bordesley green
Memory lane if you know what I mean
What I see is the life I once knew
The friends I had yes I had a few.

Time it comes for a morning snack
A cholesterol unfriendly bacon bap
I swill it down with a mug of tea
And back on the road and feeling free.

I love my job driving this van
Done it for years I'm a delivery man
I move along to any piont anywhere
Just give me a call and I'll be there.

I travel east and travel  west
I'm your delivery man doing my best
Driving vans is all that I've known
And Birmingham city is my Home.

So when I finish and my day is done
Back to the wood I've completed my run
The van is safely tooked away
I'll be back again same time next day.

also i cant help but think about when i asked you about where you want to live and how that might of got you goin, and how today i was thinking about you livin on this property...

life is amazing like that, when you notice one thing take you to the next. i think we were just talking about that as well. or no that was prob with the kids at the skate park, but how one converstaion subject matter can lead you to a video about that conversation inadvertenly and so on and so forth. a series of dot connections, insigated by ur influences...which now that i think about it stems from where you put ur energy and who you let in your life and what you do with ur time...holy! it really comes all right back to you. the rest of the world is just a mig feedback loop. creations in time to help you find your purpose based on your piont in space and time.

also i was thinking how we might be born as clean slates and then are environment just influences us to create individuals...not sure what all this means but i am thinking nature is clever. how do u remain a baby...by not identifying thinking and keeping an open mind and heart i guess...but then maybe that just leaves you with the best of what your experience creates. then there is the whole soul thing but not sure about all that...anyways ramble ramble. good stuff.