"pennance" poems
Burning passion to boiling temper.
Raging fire to glowing ember.
More is less and less is plenty.
I'll have none and you'll take any.
Plumes of smoke, the fire dies.
Do not look at me with your lying eyes.
A thieving soul in lovers guise.
Petty heart and cruel intentions.
You'll receive pennance when it's given.
Until then leave me be.
Forever, an eternity.
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 3:34 AM UTC
Too much space,
I grab the air around me trying to draw it in
But I've cleaned you out like a ***** sin.
Never knew how warm and comfortable the ugly side of love is
Touching the untouchable, to kiss the impossible kiss
I guess I thought pushing you out would leave me feeling like saint
Theres not a colour in my soul I haven't used in our love's hidden paint
The richest and darkest darks hiding lightest brightest sparks
I'm desperate for your connection, that indefinable thing
The pleasure of pain, nestled under broken wings
The crackling electric static hunting our souls to beat life into our hearts
We live in a life not made for us. Instead crossed with many other beautiful paths.
The patterns we've woven in our times apart all needing threading and tending. No end, no new start. Just empty spaces waiting to be filled in our hearts.
And though I gasp like a fish out of water for your breath,
I know the trails of our patterns cross paths and that our threads play off eachother, shining brighter and bolder than any other kind
But now I pay my pennance waiting for the next day, when we find our way and I can breath life in again.
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017 at 6:35 AM UTC
Alone I sit once again
a prisoner of my thoughts
pressing questions left unanswered
in the setting dusk
only time will tell the tale
of pennance versus praise
standing up or laying down
the choice is ours to make
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 12:49 PM UTC
With a scattered concept of reality
I stretch for strong truths on a thin life line
I found the difference between love and *lust to be a life time
Truth is pennance
A contaceptive for faulty fellowships
A filter for decieitful thoughts that arent of relavance
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 7:51 PM UTC
Every gift that I have been given
Shall be lain down upon the road
That leads to you.
An offering of sight,
Eyes left in the dust beside the path.
A sacrifice of silence,
Tongue nailed to the frame of your door.
A pennance to hear,
Ears scattered among the scrubland
Walking unguided into the abyss
Nothing left to miss but fear.
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 8:16 PM UTC
I found inside me an unbreakable pennance,
a sordid and sullied stuttering heartbeat,
and chose to find the beauty amongst the madness
adrift amongst the synapses of my mind.
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 2:53 PM UTC
So much of my life is my own fault
I want this, I need that, I, I, I
Rustified, circular logic
so alone, its unfair
deserving no one
He came, brought me to him, took me to him
showed me a bright, thoundering light
I could only, desperately
shy away, turn my eyes
look alway, flinch
at his gentlist touch
turn his words
to lies
This fit my reality, fit my truth
I had to mold him to a pattern
break him, to prove my worth
laugh at his quiet peace
interrupt his turn
intruduce him to my bleak world, pain
misery, sharp, thorned radiators
blame him for my pain
cut him, a razor's
sharpest tongue
my brittle,
poor, dry
self
He is so free, my resentment boils
shouldering responsibility
a firey, solid life
to which, my forfiet
is complete, sold
my pennance
slavery is my only worth, my only lot, its a woman's place
the strings are cables, heavy chains, locking bolts
keeping me safe, its my only precedent
I won't let him, can't trust him
cut me loose, weigh me down
with responsibilities
I have done enough
freedom is not my sorry life, flashing
resentment controls my choice, burns
broken will, regrets, hate, so
I am will, refusal to change
it is all I know
I will cherish and keep it close
for better, for bitter worth
for worse, in wilting sick
and health, such a vow
my marriage shift lost
promises broken
he didn't lie
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 9:11 PM UTC
Your good book couldn't save me as I saw the abyss,
Yet your rage, and fury and bile drew me to Hell,
And I saw that Hell is so subjective.
Looking down at a thousand souls screaming,
Writhing, drowning, dying,
I realised that they were all my own.
I looked back at a life battered,
Burned, scorched earth,
Filled with constant plagues that I hadn't earned.
I tried to reach for help – my sides, the sky, the ground,
But there was no voice from above, nobody beside me, and no ground below me,
I just hovered in stasis.
Is this your 'purgatory'?
I doubt it, because that's how I'd describe my life;
Just one bitter, broken period of waiting for something every worse.
Every emotional floor, cracking bones like cracking thunder,
Heart shattered by lightning, eyes torn out as pennance,
It was all so ******* biblical.
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 5:03 PM UTC
try me
fly me
ride me
guide me
please exist inside me
who are You
where are You
when are You
what did i do
to unreal You
i can remember the exact smell of the moon on the moment we met when all the midnight's might was unable to claim the clouds becuz they were ringing Luna in a silent cresendo of impossibly minutely perceptible dance moves and She was illuminating them, infusing them, imbuing them with Her essence and i swear to this day it was You orchestrating it, the conductor of my waking dream looking completely deeply within me and screaming a whisper which claimed my heartbeat as Our own, doing so by placing Yours inside my chest to mingle tingle melt meld as my mind knew exactly what was going on despite its stunned disbelief and it was singing its own silent crescendo of JOY
who are You
where are You
when are You
what did i do
to unreal You
maybe it actually was a dream
perhaps zero times upon a time
was i fully complete
suppose it's possible noe times upon a time
was i truly happy
what do You hear at 12:34am
when the only sounds are Your thoughts
what do You see inside your eyelids at 3:45am
when You're only looking at Yourself
what do You sense at almost-dawn-AM
when even the wind waits to hear the sun appear
maybe it's me
perhaps You remember me
perchance You feel me
remembering You
maybe we weren't meant to adventure together forever
perhaps i was supposed to be wrong again
be broken again
perchance this was meant for clint
pennance paid at the toll booth
taxes overdue at the soul booth
when sadness
becomes sadderness
trying climbing up the drain
i seem semi sane
tho stupefied from the pain
what's that moon?
you're producing another swoon?
performing perfuming another miracle in June?
mayhap i'll be deaf to your tune
but yet I sense something a moment out of reach as if a wave is almost washing my beach, a hint of the scent of a caress a request an urging an inspiration a personality a mind searching for mine to teach and learn and share and stare to explore and relax and laugh easily even when we were struggling against the tide
maybe i was just remembering something
which never happened
or perhaps just hasn't happened yet
try me
fly me
ride me
guide me
please exist inside me
Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 8:15 PM UTC
Tension in the prison that I sit in when Im livid. Its a sentence or some pennance for a sin that I've commited. When our mission turns to vengance earned forgiveness isant given. Within minutes no ones finished sayin **** they wanted written. In an instant your indifference makes us cinics faith deminished. With no witness poor decisions have of course now forced opinions. At my limits I've convinced them to enlist the quickest minions. I envision life as gifted why give in to mindless business.
Dec 4, 2019
Dec 4, 2019 at 1:31 AM UTC