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gwen Oct 2014
daddy screams and shouts, eyes burning with rage
mummy cries tears bitter with sage
brother is scared, eyes wide as moons
we all agree daddy has gone through menopause too soon

on our faces, we brush aside this sudden burst
"it's just nothing," we say, "he knows family comes first."
but the sight of him consumed is etched in the air
trapping the three of us in trauma's snare --

his eyes were livid, veins bulged from his neck
pulsing with the viscosity of a lava lake
he burned like blue fire, the kind that burns too hot
destroying everything around it, leaving death-clogged smog

i don't know why daddy is so angry today
till then, in our room, mummy brother and i will stay
i have never seen daddy so angered and flared
so distant with fury, so paralysingly mad

i fear for this family, i never have before this
this fear scares me, so i will make a list
i hope it will serve to place some of my fears
into linear thoughts, before it rains tears

first, daddy has always been holy and kind,
on his chest a cross, you would always find
but as he grows older, with hair turning grey,
with valley-deep wrinkles and memories gone astray,

he seems to forget, that i am human too
with his words, he beats me, beats me black and blue
criticisms and 'bad bad bad' ring through the house
if only he saw, he is the wolf that prowls

second, daddy had been a family man
the kind that spends a fortune flying us over land
but lately, he's just been out of touch and sight
sins queuing outside the door, waiting to enter at night

he seems to forget when i was a child
the cards i gave him, the way i made him smile
but i remember, when his hair was still black
in our family, love and warmth was never in lack

time, stop. return my daddy back to me.
stop this affair, i beg you; don't let age run free.
don't run through your fingers in his hair like that.
don't paint his hair grey, don't make it fall away.

give me the daddy my mummy met, back.
AnnSura Moon Jun 2015
There are many different types of fear.
Most fears are selfish.
Like the paralysingly horror of your own death,
The strange ominousness of being alone at night.
We're often afraid of the inflicted on our own emotions and our own bodies.
Sometimes it’s impossible not to be afraid.

But even worse than this was the fear for others.
It’s when you love somebody more than you love yourself that their danger frightens you.
And I had endured this fear more than once.

I have been afraid and still am afraid.
travesties Oct 2014
your lips burnt a hole on my shoulder that travelled right down to my heart.

11.8.12, 11:36PM

he said that this would make me feel better, these letters on paper, results of the kinetic friction of my pen, yet as the ink flows, all black and taunting all I can do is stop myself from flinging it at the wall we both plastered pictures and various trinkets of the sudden past and abrupt present along with everything I am.

12.8.12, 4:12AM

scratch those last few words. you are everything I am and when you left you took it with you.

14.8.12, 2:34AM

please give me back.

16.8.12, 12:56PM

when I look in the mirror all I see are the cracks no one else can.

21.8.12, 10:42PM

are you happy?

1.9.12, 2:39AM

the beatles were playing on the radio today and I had to stop my car on the side of the road because the image of you dancing to hey jude was paralysingly numbing and why did you stop smiling when ‘take a sad song and make it better’ plays
i felt an eternity in that one sound

— The End —