No Matter The Floor You Pass Out On

I awake as any other madman slash poet.
Apon the floor  naked  pizza box for pillow a members only jacket for a blanket.
yes the libary sure has changed over the years.

less and less people were reading buggets were cut meaning
libraryies were under staffed and rarely did anyone dare venture into
the stacks  and thank good for that. Cause being i preffered free sleeping
it was probaly for the best.

but no matter the the floor you pass out on most all fine
american men wake up with are god given birth rite.
That which after a trip to the restroom like
that early morning madness that was christmas  pressent openning
was over way to fast and was kinda disapointing.

Floors werent the best beds in the world in fact they
****** altogather but drinking and common sense dont even
belong in the same room togather.

Portsmouth Va  was a strange world indeed a place where upscale colided with skidrow.
Me I preffer the company of a outdoor sleeper to that of a
spoiled spoon fed yuppie ****.
the art school cranked out angst ridden buble people by the second.

They walked the street soaking in the pain of life.
there heads stuck so far up there ***** I always felt compeled to trip them as they walked by.
acting as though they were outsiders  yerning to be mainstream
they'd **** there mothers on a mtv reality show as dad cried in the background.

Just for a taste of stardom.
True talent who needs that?
but no matter the floor you pass out on one
thing was clear.

In a world were you could have a bus load
of kids and get paid for it.
fame wasnt such a rare thing anymore.

The floor I passed out on was cold and cruel but surrounded
voices from the past.
the floor these hollow  reallity show bottom  feeders
passed out on.  Had to besoft as there heads.

Otherwise there brains would splatter across the floor.
And some TV exect would have a brainstorm  to have a show
were washed up celebrities would have a contest.

To see who could bore us the most with there sob story  
Yes friends id rather have a pizza box for a pillow
than a reality show  pillbox for a brain.

and the truth effectsus all form no matter
which floor so you do choose to pass out on.

In accepting anything
life has given me,
I accepted everything whatever life gave me and might still be given,
in good faith again I shall receive.
For I've learned in strife
along the treacherous road taken
and in much lack
"We cannot have what we want to but whatever is given to us."

And I can sincerely say
I received abundant treasures timely in the spring time of my love life as
meeting you changed my world.

Untimely unintentionally unknowingly later on lost
everything
When the lost was found
it was Mother's Day
a revolving door suddenly opened up!
rendering all treasures lost
be found
but only if I spoke within the window of time openning.

I being in shock was mute
Mother's Day to do it was dire
to me cruel to rejoice or win
let along marry to change my life and Earth
I didn't change powers between rich joining marrying poor
So 25 years later
this virulent pandemic
intimately affects me deeply so.
as change arrived for all Earth!
How am I to blame?
The giver liver of my loots was
a chronological genius
failing to see I was made
by many a foe
fated to become a chronological disaster of another kind
amnesia played a roll extreme pain both physical and psychological clutter foes
very easy to cure
with just one hug and many questions not rendered.
I needed protection
understanding trust.

He and his antorage left me behind instead of fixing
my ill fated failures
and still my beloved King
for all the bittersweet blessings and all evils entwined crushed
with his presence alone
couldn't close the gap.

but love is many a blessing many a spender thing
all effort understood a healing
medicine became
I sincerely remain
ever thankful
ever greateful ever healed
to have loved and lost
lost found again and again
to regain sanity amidst
a hellish world too early thrown
by the evil in bad people's hearts.

And truly feeling ever so blessed
ever honored rebuilt in so many ways recovered amnesia
my mind became fortress
by one man with wisdom and foresight to bet on my future
that I choose life
even death protects me now
Cimi is me and Etchnab knife
is a gift from birth by my Aztec -Mayan calendars saving me cutting pain of ice and fire
as it arrives and I transform.

Although my beloved moved on
he read my story poem being truth
as better then wisdom
my old true love understands
my long un-requited love
was once for too long
his very own

I forever love the man who ransomed me on Mother's Day
for we share one soul
one heart one single thought...

..twin souls just forsaking flame.

~~~~
Karijinbba
03/24/20

i am a naughty vase
always fall into pieces
openning my eyes
see myself luckily back to where i was
one more time, left my past
in the dreams being erased

such life replayed for years
until one day I shed tears
facing the direction where light comes
the long bottled bud
got the message and turned into blossom
in just a tiny moment

Feb 18, 2016 Self translation

before
the sun must rise
then the hopes

living is a fiction
flowers don't wilt without openning

I took a handful of vitamins
After writing a caption about vitamins.

I hear words and poems
Racing around
In my head
But only so much
Write them down.

Its coffee time
I think of all there is to do
I think of all I've done.
I think of all there is to do.

It all came and went so quickly
Grief lingers
Like the little hum of a train
Can't quite ignore it
I awake early
I think of you in moments
And x out the days
I finally released you.

I suppose its true
I think to myself
And say outloud
As I sweep up fallen coffee grounds
You did ask me
For another chance
And everything in me
Kept me turning the opposite way.

The wall was so colorful
As my Austrian love and I kissed goodbye
I turn my back to look all the time
Because its a cinematic moment
I remember.

I expressed to you
How I often would walk around
And feel within myself
"Roll Credits"
"The credits roll"
Something like that
I remember the look in your eyes
As I expressed that.

It wasn't until
It was all said and done
That I realized it was the opposite
It is not the closing credits
It's the openning
The beginning
The intro.

I wonder how you are
I thank myself in moments
For not being with you anymore
In the house I tried to make my own too
I reference you
Like one would
A lost loved one.

My dog died
Did you hear?
Did you hear?
Did you
Hear.

I wonder what you hear
I know you see me everywhere.
And you and I know
It will continue to be that way.

Did you watch the Golden Globes?
I imagine you shutting your eyes
Unable to understand
Why I had to lock you up in a box
And throw you deep into a sea
I don't know the name of.

I'm about to go to Palm Beach
The memories of me getting sick on Kava
Drinking espresso
And trying to give you everything I had
It all whispers to me
Underneath the seats
Of my invisible audience.

"Your art is your strength. Thank you for letting me be your audience"

You wrote
On a post it
One of the last times
I let you into my bed
I remember how you stared at me that night
And how it annoyed me
Soaking up and eating your mind
As if I was some fairytale
Some fairytale
You couldn't quite master


Or keep.