Dear mind
Please remember you are not meant to be perfect, there are cracks in you like an antique porcelain glass, you are still useful and beautiful but sometimes things leak
Dear mind
You are a soldier
You have dealt with so much in the past it's a wonder you aren't shell shocked. Trauma is the worse, the world around you is so full of pain you can't imagine confiding your hurt with anyone but yourself and for this you suffer
Dear heart
You will survive, you have been shattered like a clay pigeon, blasted away by the shotgun shell of betrayal. You have been broken so many times it seems easier to find a formula for time travel to reverse the damage then to piece you back together, but here you are beating in my chest with so many scars you look like a road map of Manhattan
Dear soul
Speak up there are times when my mind is lost and my hearts playing hooky,
If my mind could hear you it would find true north and my heart would start its engine. Pressing forward to what we all want
Dear voice
Be kind, sometimes in life this is impossible but in those times promise to always be honest,
Dear voice
Hold steady, my mind may be hectic and my heart may be racing but it is you who must stay the course. For all our sakes.
Dear feet
Move forward, what is behind us is to teach us how to navigate what is in front of us. Be firm in your footing and bold in your stride this greatness you seek was never intended for the timid
Dear shadow
I promise if you continue to follow me someday it will be worth it.

-Vaun Niklaus Christiansen.

My withdrawal was violent like ******
Your effects lasting like mental trauma
I reveled in you like a pagan on Samhain
You greeted me like a crusader to a Saracen
I bled a river of emotions I didn't know I had.
I was failing to fly
Like a fledgeling taking its firsit leap away from the nest in hopes of soaringly to greater heights.
But what a hunter you were,
The arrow striking me from the sky as if guided by Artemis
It leaves me wanting,
My heart turns cold enough to freeze the blood that runs through my veins
Give me the road
A place where judgments are left in tire tracks
Where worries are removed as the winds rushes around me at 80 miles an hour.
The sun at my back heating my heart
Pumping the blood to my wings
Spread them and fly
Ride the wind, race the rain, and chase the sunset
On these two wheels you leave what aches behind you.
You find freedom on the never ending horizon
You find happiness in your solitude.
-Vaun Niklaus Christiansen.

At first it was the eyes,
You stared too deeply, and saw who I really was.
Next was the conversation,
You let me in, more than you had planned by far, but you were no match for my silver-tongue.
And lastly the kiss,
Our lips touched and it sealed our fate, the energy travelled from our lips, and reverberated throughout our bodies,
I tensed and pulled you closer,
The most terrifying thought on my mind was an end to this moment,
I clung to it in false hope.
Soon I realized it was not I who captured you, but you who captured me. I was a monster in your cage, an animal domesticated for your pleasure.
But as days went by my loyalty and trust for you grew.
Much like the animal who is cared for and loved.
But like puppy who isn't so cute anymore your attentions faded, I was losing you, this reality burned itself into my mind, creating a chaos, worthy of its own war.
And so I fought,
I fought with my anger,
I fought with my self esteem
I fought with my depression, and anxiety, my loneliness, and my sorrow.
I shed tears for your exodus, as I began the familiar routine of picking myself back up, only to put myself back together, yet again.
I lay here at night sometimes, thinking about you, wondering if you think about me.
If sometimes you miss my arms wrapped around you, as much as I do.
If you try to remember the sound of my voice saying I love you as much as I do
Or if you miss the feeling of my lips pressed against yours in a physical declaration that bellows I AM YOURS!!
But then I ask myself, despite the obvious happiness we provided for each other, what good would have come from this.
I guess some things are better left unknown.

-Vaun Niklaus Christiansen.

From our lips springs forth an energy,
We were to be an eternity in an instant
A forever moment in the blink of an eye
We fought it, and the battle was long
But the chaos consumed us
And emotions swept us away like a hurricane
The universe looked at us and understood our need for one another
You were broken, the world had made you feel isolated and cold
I burned with the fire of a thousand suns and so fate brought you to me
I reminded you what it was to love again,
And you showed me why I shouldn't be afraid to love
But the storm has calmed
It left behind broken hearts
And immortal memories
I'll love you forever in a way
Just not the way we thought on those late nights we spent together under the blanket ******, laughing like fools
Staring like star struck teenagers into each other's eyes with a longing tragedies are written about
I'll miss you
I wouldn't take back a single second.
So cheers to the future my darling may we both find happiness in the lessons we taught each other.
-Vaun Niklaus Christiansen

It was a match dropped into an oil field
And so these flames depicted the hellfire that reigned inside of me.
A pure rage
Unbridled and ever growing
What volatile emotions unleashed while their warden was away.
A jailbreak of hatred enticed with frustration and fueled by confusion
A soul that once new peace
A heart that bloomed love
Now fields of brimstone wishing harm to those who destroyed the garden
Oath breakers, eyes void of soul. Liars the lot of them cast together with no sense of right or wrong
Yet wielding a hammer of “justice”
There is no balance to these scales
No punishment befitting this imaginary crime.
I pray you all be destroyed, in worse ways than you destroy those around you.
My hearts misses who I was.
My soul has forgotten peace.
And my mind is ever burning with the devils blue flames.
-Mr. Vaun Niklaus Morningstar.

Dearest words, my favorite friend
What joy you can bring or pain in the end.
Fashioned true like crossbow bolts.
Reservations for feelings you do not hold
Not like thoughts that ferment and linger
Your precise like the point of the hornets stinger
When I saw you it had not been the first time.
Just the first you’d appear outside my mind
They were not my own
Instead they were heard.
What followed next had to occur
You can hear it like glass under heavy pressure
I guess I continue on my solo adventure
My heart a beast that’s broken, the body lacks its beauty
Perhaps one day someone will see through me.
All that I’ve done returned in kind.
“You have seen inside of my beautiful mind”
I looked in your soul fell in love with what was found
Now a week man. Collapse to the ground
Scream at the sky and curse the moon
My nostrils still smell your gentle perfume
Guys, this feels like dying.
-Mr Niklaus Morningstar.