Grampa G.E. Parson
Had A Yard Sale!
…..By Jerry Howarth
~~~~~~~~JH~~~~~~~~
- PROSE IN IGNORENTS -
Yeah he did, he put up is yard for sale.
Every where Grampa looked, people were
selling there yards,
some were even selling their garage.
He didn’t know why people were selling yards and /or garages,
But he decided to sell his garage too,
So into town he drove, to buy one of those big red and black garage sale signs.
As he drove into town, he saw another strange sign, at least it was strange to Grampa.
In great big letters on a great big sign board it said FLEA MKT.
“Flea Mkt?” Grampa ask out loud, to no one in particular. “Now why would anyone sell fleas? And how did they collect them, and from where”
Curiosity got the best of Grampa, so he made a turn-around in the middle of the street, to talk to the proprietor of this strange product.
“Yes Sir, How can I help you, Old Timer?”
ask the proprietor.
“I was wondering how do you sell your fleas”
Answered Grampa.
“How do I sell my…..AHA HA HA Sell my fleas! That’s one I’ve never heard before. Sell my fleas aha. How many pounds can you handle?”
“Well,just take your time, look around,
I have just about anything in the world any one could possibly want…anything that is except for fleas. I just sold out of them yesterday, and have not been able to re-
supply them…AHa Ha!”
Grampa got back into his pickup, muttering to himself ” I don’t know what that young feller kept laughing about…..I must have been missing something. I still don’t know…
Awww G.E. y’ol coot, jis forget it.”
Grampa arrived at the hardware store and ask for a Garage Sale sign. As he was paying for it he just casually ask what the going price might be for a nice well kept two car garage.
Several men were within hearing of the question and started laughing along with
the store owner.
“You say you have a two car garage? In that case you will need two signs; one for each side or was you only going to sale one side of your garage? AAHA! HA! HA!”
“Hey Dana! That’s a good one!” said one of the men loitering around the store.
“Yeah Man,” said another, you need TWO signs to sell a TWO car garage” which produced another round of laughter.
All the time Grampa’s German-Irish was slowly inching themselves to the forefront of his head.
But Grampa, walking in the Spirit, with a soft answer (actually reply)kept the peace,
turned around, gave the laughing men a crooked smile and walked to his pickup and drove on home.
Meanwhile Grandma Parson had been exceedingly busy, putting stuff out near
the sidewalk, with a homemade sign that advertised a sidewalk sale, with coffee, lemonade or ice cold water.
Grampa just set in his pickup watching
People walk around the table upon which
Lay HIS WINNING HOME RUN BASE-BALL and…and “NO NO NO”
Grandpa came flying out of his truck to the lady who picked up Grampa’s First Place
Sales Trophy. He grabbed it out of her hands ad laced ir with his base ball.
Then looking around at other items Grandma had put out to sale; his ball glove,
His spiked all shoes. Looking around more closely Grampa realized that one entire table held all his fishing gear, baseball stuff and other odds ends of is belongings.
Grampa quietly began picking up everything from the table which displayed his keepsakes, and put them in a large double
Papersack, and put them in a large double paper sack.
And now he understood the terms “yard sale” and “garage sale” but he still wondered why any one would buy fleas.
Uttatuttut…that’s all folks
Jerry Howarth
5/10/16
