I write you, because the absence of you is still somehow shaped like your presence.

I write you because you overwhelm, overwhelmed my defences and now that my house is underwater there is only air that is not you in the top corner of the attic.

I drift along on the current of you I’ve created, fallen prey to, and wonder if it will ever end.

Or lessen. Abate.

I could let the air leave my lungs and sink down into you as long as I knew that in the water you were wrapped back around me as I was wrapping myself around you.

I drown in your tide and pray that your fire begins to burn less brightly, no longer a flashover combustion but something that lingers long and warm and comforting.

Instead I will macerate away, fasting on air-fulls of you I am convinced are whole meals, and you will fall victim to my incendiary blaze as I go out in nothing akin to glory, and we’ll both stand on opposite sides of a road as we bleed and stare back at each other.

This will only hurt, but the swell of you I sail forth on, carrying in my veins with every waterlogged step, means I can’t stop.

I don’t want to.

Whose flinty heart
Cannot love long demonstrated
Overwhelm and macerate?

In the very early 18th century, Jakob Le Mort (1650–1718),[4] a professor of chemistry at Leiden University, prepared an elixir for asthma and called it "paregoric".[5] The word "paregoric" comes from the Greek word "paregoricon" which was originally applied to oratory – to speak, but, more accurately, talk over, soothe,[6] and finally came to have the same meaning as "anodyne".[3]

Le Mort's elixir, consisting of "honey, licorice, flowers of Benjamin, and *****, camphor, oil of aniseed, salt of tartar and spirit of wine," was listed as "Elixir Asthmaticum" in the London Pharmacopoeia of 1721. Its ingredients were assembled according to the humoral theory of the time. Paregoric was used in various formulations for hundreds of years.[citation needed]

Paregoric was a household remedy in the 18th and 19th centuries when it was widely used to control diarrhea in adults and children, as an expectorant and cough medicine, to calm fretful children, and to rub on the gums to counteract the pain from teething.

A formula for paregoric from Dr. Chase's Recipes (1865):[7]

Best ***** 1/2 dr., dissolve it in about 2 tablespoons of boiling water; then add benzoic acid 1/2 dr.; oil of anise 1/2 a fluid dr.; clarified honey 1 oz.; camphor gum 1 scruple; alcohol, 76 percent, 11 fluid ozs.; distilled water 4-1/2 fluid ozs.; macerate, (keep warm,) for two weeks. Dose – For children, 5 to 20 drops, adults, 1 to 2 tea-spoons.

The Medical Companion, Or Family Physician, a book from 1827, gave the following recipe:
Paregoric Elixir – Take of purified *****, flowers of Benzoin, camphor, and essential oil of annis-seed, each, two drachms; brandy, two pints. Digest for eight or ten days, frequently shaking the bottle, and then strain the elixir.[8]

Use during the twentieth century
During the twentieth century its use declined as governments regulated its ingredients (***** is a controlled substance in many countries).

Beginning in late 2011, there was a period in which paregoric was not being manufactured in the United States. As of August 2012, however, the manufacture of paregoric had resumed.[9]