I’ve been lost in my own world for far too long
And the words on the walls still stand strong
I can hear them as well as the seashores around
Hesitation has me bolted firm to the floor
I don’t know if this is the trail I was on
Before too long the footprints were gone
And now I must mark a new place in the snow
That has coated the already-frozen gray lawn
The smells of slick ice still bite at my nose
And my feet underneath stiff from snow of maltose
I’ve been wondering for years around these blackberry fields
Planting wishes in all the surrounding meadows
I’ve given up all of my hope now so far
And the scent of lemons and mint I’ve learned to debar
Still fog up my mind with lovely new dreams
Of champagne in an elegant, white-walled boudoir
If the face of the moon reflects off of the lake
And a third sip of wine is all I can take
Then surely the morning would be dawning soon
In the colors and hues of warm orange cakes
I would hold drops of morning dew firm to my lips
As the fog danced around my still cold fingertips
I still take in the smells of the cattails and grass
And my soggy dress skirt still loose at my hips
I’ll lace those ripe berries with bangles of gold
The lyrics and verses with melodies bold
There’s just one missing note that I have yet to place
But its flavor at last has gone timidly cold
I can’t get rid of the numbing sensation still
It’s lingered on on my damp windowsill
And I can’t bring myself to shoo it away
I am numb but the feeling is dreadfully real
Those mint-woven scents have faded once more
I’ve left them all out at the foot of my door
The feeling was false and planted ideas
I hid them under my paneled wood floor
I still feel the guilt of leaving them there
Under the floors of my home in rooms that are bare
I know I should leave them to collect dust alone
But I hear their old hearts slowly open to tear
I have every power to scoop them back up
To bring memories forth in a gold-handled cup
But to flaunt them around as if some sort of gift
Had the chance to create an alarming slip-up
Then and there I’ve decided to reside to the chore
Of leaving those thoughts under floorboards once more
The thoughts still come back and claw at my ears
But they’re better off left unresolved, unexplored.
I believe that my voice is always too small
To be heard through such a towering wall
And if I had a chance to let my voice be heard
I’d create an effectively stalling icefall
The berries had ripened till they rotted at last
I’ve forgotten of feelings or thoughts from the past
I can no longer hold the dewdrops to my face
Because of numbness I can desperately never outlast.
A lyrical poem about having ideas but being too young and afraid to speak your mind. Tell me what you think. :)
