A conversation with my little cousins:

Him: Knock knock!

Me: Who's there?

Him: Doctor!

Me: Doctor Who?

Him: Exactly!
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Hahaha That's very funny darling.

His little brother: KNOCK KNOCK!

Me: Who's there?

His little brother: um... um... I forgot, wait no um POTATO MUFFIN BANANA NINJA!

Me: Potato muffin banana ninja who?

His little brother: EXACTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Um... yeah. hahaha...

Him: HAHAHAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY!

Me: Um, yes. Sure. ha. haha. hahaha...

His little brother: It's funny because I said POTATO MUFFIN BANANA NINJA and then you said WHO and then I said EXACTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: *** I think they are both having seizures...

---------------------

But I love them with all my heart!!!
<3

(My littlest cousin is obsessed with potatoes, muffins, bananas, and  ninjas. I don't know it's weird dont ask)

To all those that were reading my last piece,'Split personality' I had to take it down sadly after it had trended to a hundred reads in 3 hrs. But I wrote quickly and used the word 'cohabit' without realizing what it implied... you throw that in with 'brotherly loyalty' and the whole piece just reads a lot gay... now, I'm not hating on gay people... I just don't swing that way, wouldn't want my poems to give off the wrong impression... all said and done... I have just had a good laugh at my own expense hahahahaha

Sentimental emotions needs to be shared
Down at your little throne I glared
I danced I frowned I smiled Oh silly jester of the court..
You only see a face of a fool! oh deary, please allow me to retort.
I make the masses smile all the time my dear
Why can't you see this jester's love appear?
I juggle knives and flames for your amusement.
Oh truly I do shrug in fear and in torment.
/Hush little darling don't you frown
This little jester will be your clown
All he wants to do is to see you smile
All he wants to do is laugh for awhile
This psychopathic love that I have for you
Would only be the beginning of our story for two.
The jester smiles and the crowd goes nuts
Alas the princess is with me but the pain still cuts/
Let the jester make you the grandest ball of them all
Let your lover make you twirl round and round in this ball
Let the crowd know this love that I held in the end
A jester to a lover what a sweet sweet blend
HaHaHaHaHaHa says the jester gone mad
How could this fairy tale got so wrong and bad
The jester hacks and slashes oh he is excited
For my sweet deary all things should be dead.
I thank the world for what it gave my heart
Sadly a jester can only do much it rips him apart
He can only make people smile and more is too much.
Bodies everywhere my love pulseless, inside the jester he only laughed a bunch.

HAHAHAHAHAHA DRAMA HAHAHAHAHAHA LIES HAHAHAHAHAHA

I sit on my own in a restaurant
And at the table next to me
A guy’s grabbing a hunny’s ****
And giving it all the googly eyes;
He smiles.
It’s a first date.
He’s done her already
And she is a stunner
Eastern European
A body built like an athlete
A body you’d **** yourself for
Just for a sip of that amber nectar
The body of a woman that puts fire in the *****
And gives way to sleepless nights.
He was grinning
And I was lost in my Vichyssoise
But as the evening wears on
The passion disintegrates
Into mindless rote
They were onto eating sandwiches
And I was onto the lobster
I know that you shouldn’t bring a sandwich
To a buffet.
The guy with the Bulgarian hunny learnt that too:
As soon as the guy looks up and begins to give his order to the waitress
The Bulgarian hunny interrupts him
“I would to order...”
“Bradley, don’t you look at another woman –
He’ll be having the salad and the tuna steak.
You know you’re not having a **** steak
I don’t want you dying of a heart attack before you’re forty.
And I’m certainly not going to be left to feed 6 kids!”
There was an awkward silence
Every time Bradley tried to get a word in the
Hot Bulgarian fluttered her big brown eyes
And shrugged  her shoulder.
“Boy, save the charm for the ******* your arm.”
God, if I were him
I would sleep with one eye open.
And I know if they had a bunny
It would be on the stove by now.
The conversation gently continued,
Poor Bradley couldn’t look at another woman
Throughout the evening
It was decided:
3 boys and 3 girls
And not one would be thought to be called
Bradley Jr.
They had to graduate
They had to work five years
And have full dental plans
All this was going on before
The salads.
I have to laugh
Hahahahahaha
When one is faced with a beauty like that
That’s a maniac
I have to think:
You can’t taste the milk
And then not put a down payment on the cow.

I sit on my own in a restaurant
And at the table next to me
A guy’s grabbing a hunny’s ****
And giving it all the googly eyes;
He smiles.
It’s a first date.
He’s done her already
And she is a stunner
Eastern European
A body built like an athlete
A body you’d **** yourself for
Just for a sip of that amber nectar
The body of a woman that puts fire in the *****
And gives way to sleepless nights.
He was grinning
And I was lost in my Vichyssoise
But as the evening wears on
The passion disintegrates
Into mindless rote
They were onto eating sandwiches
And I was onto the lobster
I know that you shouldn’t bring a sandwich
To a buffet.
The guy with the Bulgarian hunny learnt that too:
As soon as the guy looks up and begins to give his order to the waitress
The Bulgarian hunny interrupts him
“I would to order...”
“Bradley, don’t you look at another woman –
He’ll be having the salad and the tuna steak.
You know you’re not having a **** steak
I don’t want you dying of a heart attack before you’re forty.
And I’m certainly not going to be left to feed 6 kids!”
There was an awkward silence
Every time Bradley tried to get a word in the
Hot Bulgarian fluttered her big brown eyes
And shrugged  her shoulder.
“Boy, save the charm for the ******* your arm.”
God, if I were him
I would sleep with one eye open.
And I know if they had a bunny
It would be on the stove by now.
The conversation gently continued,
Poor Bradley couldn’t look at another woman
Throughout the evening
It was decided:
3 boys and 3 girls
And not one would be thought to be called
Bradley Jr.
They had to graduate
They had to work five years
And have full dental plans
All this was going on before
The salads.
I have to laugh
Hahahahahaha
When one is faced with a beauty like that
That’s a maniac
I have to think:
You can’t taste the milk
And then not put a down payment on the cow.

I am so Boring That…

Morpheus takes my correspondence course
I teach the House of Lords how to induce snores
I make strong men yawn with my tired metaphors
I am on retainer with all the best sleep clinics

I am the reason the grooms in Macbeth slept
Hypnos and Nix envy me and my skills
Rip Van Winkle was wonked out by my rhymes
My verses make for Odin’s yearly sleep

I wield my Sword of Soporificity
And the condemned oversleep their executions

Look upon my cliches’, ye mighty, and despair, hahahahahaha…!

Hey you gal, com’ere

You notice seh, when word gone round,
And people affie frown
and deh look pon you.

Mi nah say nothing.

When word gone round,
And people affie frown,
And deh look pon me,

Why yeah fi see me?

You haunted or summthin?
Vanilla on cream,
Think she prettier then me,

You nah nothing

Hey goodie, with your white gal ‘air
Only thing you better dan me,
Is ******* that wood like a lolly lolly pop.

Why you affie be so bad mind

You have a sad mind,
Two tiny ***** knocking side to side,
Coming up to me, with ya smile in hand,
Yeah lie, yeah lie

Me nuh see you,
you affie be somebody fi see

Hey you gal,
you think your better then me?
With ya boyfriend
Who ya naw even see, see

Bringing home hickeys,
And deh gurls seh she nah even mean dem.

Hahahahahaha
Go **** back ya moma
Ya, luckier then me!!!

People who think my poemz are dumb are jerkz
Cuz they don't even no how smart eye ham hahahahahaha