You make me queasy
a constant sea sickness
but I'm not ill
People tend to call this "butterflies"
Im just digusted
there are insects hiding in the most secret parts of me

shock.
the night air gives me a slap in the face as i meet it.
walking, running, making my way past bodies in the street.
i've come to an establishment.
this place gives me chills; i dont believe in the posters, the blaring collection of atoms showing me what could be called un partido de football.

one, two, three shots.
cold beer and a cigarette.
im on my way, weaving, bobbing.
its a boxing match with the oncoming vehicles.

im hit; the alcohol has entered my veins.
it overwhelms my senses... why shouldn't i love it all?
night sky, tell me i'm fine.
unlock your secrets; i've earned it.
haven't i?

giving you a glance... scared to move.
i'lll fall for anyone wearing floral and tights.

im gripping this bench, losing blood.
cause i cant trust gravity; what is there to trust?
this city will **** me.
each lit second takes a moment from my life.
im digusted... one more drag and never again.
it falls to the ground, burning in anger.

what a hypocrite!
my conscience screams as i reach for the lighter.

safe?
don't tease me.
the music i bring along prods me; i must go on.
i jump at every noise...
could it be my end?
such violence in the tread of your feet,
i dont trust a single move.

where's the street?
please, please, speak my language.
no. why ask?
i'll give you a bit of death... you shouldn't ask.

finally home to my love, if only you knew.

sweet, sweet, night air.

My friends always come to me, I'm so often playing therapist.
It's life, we all have em, no problem should ever be embarrassing.
So you'll have to forgive me I might be single until I'm 50.
If I get depressed so many people miss me so I don't have the time to waste with someone acting iffy.
Talking about internships and aspirations with friends I'd give a kidney
Seeing the good ones some of you cheat on, you people have to be kidding.
Loyalty's no longer a discussion.
With my generation I'm digusted.
Every month I gain an enemy and lose a cousin.
People treat me differently ever since I became something.
& on top of that how am I ever supposed to look at my lady? And say "baby lets have a baby" when black babies are dropping dead in my cities, this life is crazy.
I don't know if talking about it helps.
This the stuff that's on my mind, I usually just keep it to myself.

hauntingly beautiful,
but completely repulsive,
i've never been so digusted by my own blood,

one minute you're sober,
next thing I know, everything flips over,
you're drinking 2 bottles at once,

you think we're having fun,
like its all a big joke,
I dont think i've ever seen you this bloated,

for once, I was just hoping,
that we can go through, no pain,
but I see, my request for peace was denied.

There comes a time..
Just as there is a slot for everything.
When leaving means more.
Not to you.
Or even to whom the action is directed.
Pushing past to just understanding.
That fighting more isnt going to get extra rounds.
Nor are there any tears to dry.
Words sting but only the ones that escape the catacombs behind grated teeth.
Long sighs mean nothing.
You watched it eat at me from the inside out.
Then when it finally consumed all there was did you just turn your back.
Digusted at how weak spirited the remains were..
Ignoring the fact that it was your pet that was constantly hungry.
Starving it a little so when finally it got out.
No one could even slow the death toll.
So now the medium is even tainted.
And sadly brings solace no longer.
I would want to wish you all the best.
But my words won't change anything.
Not here.
Or anywhere.