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Sarah Treaster Jun 2012
There was a loud knock on the door. Callie froze.
“Hello? Anyone in there? Daryl! Open up!” The muffled voice of Ginny could be heard outside the lab door. Callie hurried into the back room.
“Daryl, your wife is here...” she said worriedly. “What are we going to do??”
“Oh my god. Just... don’t make any noise. If the boss knows we were here, using his lab, he’ll **** us. I know. I’ll call her and tell her that I’m on my way home.” Callie wrung her hands as Daryl paced back and forth, muttering to himself.
“Heyyy, Ginny. Sorry, work kept me out late. I’m on my way home now.” Dayrl spoke into the phone sweetly. “Alright see you there.” He hung up. Callie’s eyes were wide.
“I heard her leave. Let’s get out of here.” Callie grabbed her purse and her sweater off her desk and opened the lab door slowly. Daryl followed quickly behind Callie as they tip toed their way through the dark hallways of the Laboratory.

As Ginny left the lab and was walking back to her car, her phone rang. “Hello?” She listened as Daryl spoke quickly. He sounded very nervous. “Okay, Daryl. I’ll see you at home.” She hung up and stopped. Her husband was acting very strange tonight. She had been knocking on the door to his office and even his boss’s office. What is he up to..this doesn’t feel right. I trust him but... Ginny turned around slowly and made her way back to the dark, tall gray building. If he’s cheating on me I swear... Her mind was running through hundreds of possibilities, her anger and worry growing. Nearing the front door, she removed her heals and crept into the building. She listened carefully before ducking into a room that had a nice view of the elevator and the exit. Peeking through the blinds, she waited and watched.

Callie held Daryl’s hand as they left the elevator, walking towards the front exit. “Okay we’re clear,” Daryl whispered in Callie’s ear. As the young woman walked past Daryl, her rose infused perfume drifted into his face and he shivered as the scent filled his nostrils. Grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him he kissed her passionately. There was a loud choking sound behind them and they turned around suddenly. Ginny was standing in the hallway, eyes wide, fists balled up in shock and anger.
“Wha...what is going on, Daryl?” Her voice shook, and she didn’t take her eyes off of Callie. “Who is she?” Daryl was as stiff as a stone. “Who. Is. She, Daryl. What is going on?”
“Ginny, it’s not what it looks like. I love you. She was forcing me. I promise.” Callie took a step back.
“Excuse me?! Daryl, you started this between us. Do NOT act like you are the innocent one here. You told me you loved me more than your wife. That you were going to leave her... You...you are a *****, ***** liar.” Callie broke into tears and fell to her knees.
“Callie...Ginny! Ginny I don’t know what she’s talking about. I love you. You know I love you.” Daryl stepped towards Ginny. She held up her hands defensively.
“Get away from me, you creep!” Daryl stopped.
“Come on, Ginny. Let’s go home. I love you, please it’s not what it seems. Look, I ******* up. Come on, I’ll get the car.” Daryl backed up slowly, and then headed for the door. A terrible scream was heard and the next moment, Daryl was on the floor, blood spurting everywhere. A large glass paperweight dropped to the floor with a loud thud and a ****** as a corner shattered off. Two pairs of wide eyes stared down at the body silently.

When the police had arrived, Callie and Ginny were sitting together on a bench, shivering in the cold night air. A young girl in her late teens, early twenties was sitting across from them, her eyes dry. “Ladies, may I ask what happened here? There’s a man in there, dead. Which one of you did this?” A policeman came up to the women with a pencil and a paper pad.
The young girl looked up. “I killed him.” The girl stood up. “He’s been leading three different lives. One with me, my mother, and my little brother in Arlington. I knew about all of them. I followed him a lot. I found him leading one with her, that lady there.” She held up a finger at Ginny. “And then he was having an affair with her.” She moved her finger to Callie. “I couldn’t deal with it anymore. He was a greedy, selfish *******. I did it. I killed Daryl Stevenson. I killed my father.”
Wild Girl Jun 2012
I can feel the pack
All watching my back
Their fur brushes
As if everything was fine
But Daryl is dead
I think I'll lose my head
When I heard the shot
All I saw was a dot
As it sped along
The birds stopped their song
I do not want to dine
As if everything was fine
Cause it's not
Daryl has been shot
FYI: Daryl is not real, I just put the name in because it sounded good to me.
"Hello there," said I to the stranger beside,
"I'm Cari, and this is my boyfriend."
The stranger looked past, with some side-eye and sass,
And said, "You must be overjoyed, then."

I tilted my head to the side then and said,
"I am, we've decided to marry!"
The stranger just frowned and then said, his voice down,
"I was being sarcastic, he's scary."

I frowned then, in turn, and my boyfriend, face stern,
Said, "C'mon, babe," in dirtied apparel.
With his crossbow in hand he led me through the land,
Snuffing zombies and bandits-- oh, Daryl.
Another one dedicated to Norman Reedus.

I am so embarrassed about using "trash barrel" as a rhyme in the first draft.
At the mailbox, again:
“Who loves me, baby?”
Well, let’s see: there’s a flyer from Mercury Insurance,
Reminding me that most middle-income customers
Save an average of $4 million smackaroons when they switch too.
The Penny Saver USA.com is here,
Thank God, almighty!
So now I know that Thomas Roofing & Paving
Is having a special on 20-year leak-free flat roofs;
"All work guaranteed & insured.
No job too big or small.
Free estimates/Emergency services/License # I8U-69."
And thank you, Jesus,
For another $4.99 Farmer Boys 3-Egg Breakfast
Combo with Coffee coupon, and that
Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready, $5.00 cheese or pepperoni,
Mae-West-“why-don’t-you-come up and see me sometime?”—mailer. And, of course, another technology Siren’s song:
Verizon FiOS delivers entertainment this big,
Dish me up some dish NETWORK, $19.99 a month . . .
Are you ******* me?
For 12 ******* months?
AT&T;: whack me off on 120 channels.
DIRECTV.com - DIRECTV® Official Site‎
Worry-free 99.9%  . . . cue Joe E. Brown,
"Some Like It Hot“ Osgood:
"Well, nobody’s perfect!"
Time Warner/Sprint/T-Mobile;
And ******* Leather, Polk Street, San Francisco.
******* leather?
Must be for my neighbor: that ***** ****!
And here’s the weekly 8-page color fold-out from Stater Bros:
Lowering prices every day, large cantaloupes
(Jessica Lange, are you back?)
10 for $10.00, 32 oz. Gatorade
Or 24 oz Propel in 30 assorted varieties @ 79 cents
+ CRV: California Redemption Value?
Nice euphemistic cover-up for a TAX.
Nice, nice, very nice, CA elected state officials;
Nicely done, Sacramento.
Everywhere else in the country you get real money—
A fixed number of pennies, nickels, or dimes—
For your plastic bottles and aluminum cans.
But in California, the licensed recyclers
Get to pull the market price out of their *** each morning.
California Redemption Value?
What ******* genius government kleptocrat thought that one up? Conspiracy Alert: who gets all that CRV money?
And what are they doing with it?
Feeling plain, Jane?
Marinello Schools of Beauty, want you,
Offer you hands-on training in cosmetology,
Skin care esthetics, manicuring and vaginal deodorizing—
Just kidding, Babaloo.
Food tip for the Third World:
Never try to write poetry on an empty stomach.
Sizzler 6 oz juicy & succulent.
RENEGADE DEAL:
El Pollo Loco guacamole chicken sandwich,
Coupon free, small drink and small chips,
When you purchase a guacamole or jalapeno sandwich,
includes pepper jack cheese and a southwest sauce.
Gardenas sandia con semilla, 7 lbs 99 cents.
GARDENAS: “en precios, servicio y calidad, nadie nos iguaia.”
Bud Gordon’s Quality NISSAN:
One at this price after a $1500 factory rebate.
TERMINIX: get them before they get you!
The Kingdom Animalia, Phylum Arthropoda, Class Insecta
Bug up my *** again.
And a form letter from the VA
Asking me to please update my whereabouts.
And a form letter from the VA asking me
To please update my whereabouts.
And miles to go before I sleep.
Bite me, Mr. Frost!

An outing, at last.
I am going for a walk around the inside of my gates.
I live in one of those gated over-55 lunatic asylums.
There are gates. It is gated. Get it?
GATED! We feel safe here.
Probably a good thing at our age:
Self-imposed institutionalization,
Putting oneself in an asylum to ferment and die.
The fact that so many of us
Need it so bad at only 55
Says something itself about the current state of
Baby Boomer metal-fatigue.
I am now standing at the far end of the golf course.
I wait at the far end of the 18th Hole.
A ball bounces past my head and
Rolls off past the green into the far rough.
The 18th Hole is perched atop a small plateau,
Out of sight, far above the horizon for anyone teeing off.
I am Puck, invisible and impish.
I pluck the ball up.
I scamper to the green.
I pop the ball into the hole.
Which is better than popping a hole in the ball,
Surely, kind of a drag,
As we were once fond of saying.
Deflated Ball.
Deflator Maus.
OPERA can be ****.
Bodice-ripping corsets, whorehouses and naked ******!
Hardly what you might expect from
A night with the Welsh National Opera,
But they found their way into this production of "Die Fledermaus."
Ripe language, contemporary jokes and
Toilet humor thrown in, adding immensely
To the pleasures of Strauss’s operetta.
"Die Fledermaus," or The Bat’s Revenge,
Is all about drunkenness and adultery.
Despite being written in the 1870s,
It remains equally pertinent to today’s pub culture of excess.
Daring; Colorful; ****: PGA golf.
I steal a golf ball on the far end of the 18th Hole.
I pick up the Titleist and stick it in the hole
(Steady Jessica, not yours.
I hide behind your bush.
(Cue up PSA, First Lady Bird Johnson’s 1960s
Nationwide Beautification Campaign:
“I want everyone in America to plant a tree,
A sherrrr-rub, or a booosh.”)
The golfer now searching frantically:
Why is the cup always the last place they look?
Then, wham, bam, he looks:
A legend is born.
A hole in one,
His name forever immortalized
On a plaque over the bar, the proverbial 19th Hole.

As you know, I speak for all mediocrities,
Safe in my 55+ gated-community.
I go next to the Club House,
"The Lodge" as it’s called.
Each afternoon, the usual suspects
Claiming first come/first serve tiered mini-theater seats
Where Netflix matinee gems are screened.
It is two minutes to DVD show time.
I walk to the front of the room.
I stare at my audience.
I count the house slowly,
Making meaningful eye contact with each wrinkled face.
I cup my hands behind my back and speak:
“I assume you are all here for my lecture on Kierkegaard.”
No one reacts.
I turn to leave but do a double-take and smile.
One old woman in the top right corner of the amphitheater laughs, Perhaps the one other human being within the gates
Who has also smoked a joint today.
For an instant, I am overwhelmed with paranoia,
Perhaps I’ve gone too far over the line:
No longer “oh-he’s-a-character;”
I am now “that creep is ******* nuts.”
Is it time for someone to approach my family,
My next of kin, my “who-to-contact-in-event-of-emergency” number? Who will make the call on behalf of the HOA—
The Homeowner’s Association—
The Tsars, the Duma, the Supreme Soviet in these parts?
They are the power inside the gates;
Those who determine the state’s enemies,
Who govern its community norms.
Power within the gates.
Law within the asylum.
Little Hitlers one and all.
Hopefully they reach my sister first.
She’s been briefed.
KEY POINT IN THE NARRATIVE:
The new narrative is non-linear.
We can no longer sustain a narrative understanding of ourselves;
We are each an individual stream of consciousness,
All of us random, non-linear and disconnected.
We grow more and more disconnected from others.
We may be neighbors in space and time,
But we remain deprived of any significant human contact;
Any spiritually significant human contact.
Our social circle narrows to what can fit in The Telescreen;
We become more intimate with a legion . . .
Did someone say a legion? SPQR:
Am I having some sort of genetic-linguistic seizure here?
Am I channeling Benito Mussolini again?
Il Duce speaks to me from the grave,
Still blowing smoke up my Hopi-Jew-*** ***,
Filling in my insecurities,
Plugging the holes in my character
With delusions of classical Roman grandeur, glory and empire. Hmmmm? Quite an appetizing pitch for the average *****,
A message so completely, so ethnocentrically slick,
Olive oily, and so seductive.
A non-Italian would have thought
American Legion or Legionnaire’s disease,
Or The Foreign Legion, The French Foreign Legion.
The French: a virulent, promiscuous people.
Do you want fries with that, Simone?
No, I don’t get out much.
Only an occasional brisk walk around the asylum,
In and around the golf course, around but inside the gates. (LINKS) Bill Gates. Daryl Gates. Billy Bathgate’s Gates? Ghiberti’s Gates? The Hot Gates? Thermopylae? 300 Spartans/700 Thespians:
“The noun causing idiots to think of
Two girls sloppily eating each other’s mighty vaginas,
When they hear mention of someone being an actor.” http://www.urbandictionary.com
Not even close.
No, I rarely venture out.
This is Hemetucky.
There are methamphetamine-stoked
Teenage zombies at the gate.
Note to costume control:
Perhaps camouflage clothing is the safe choice?
No loud red Hawaiian.
No garish Indonesian batik.
Fleet of feet are these Hemet tweakers,
These cranked up Riverside County teenage barbarians,
These Huns & Visigoths,
These amped up, ravenous jackals.
And why stop there?
These Vandals & Vandellas.
A Motown flashback:
“Nowhere to run, baby, nowhere to hide.”
With or without Martha—
They remain dangerously lethal.
Yes, let it be camo clothes for me.
Those **** heads may be young.
They may be fast.
They may be able to run me down
On a dry grass dog-legged fairway savannah,
Tearing the meat from my carcass.
But the sons-a-******* have to see me first.
Besides, we know who are real friends are.
Hooray for our media peeps!
We become more intimate with a legion
Of television personalities on 125 different channels.
Most of these we know by name and context.
We know their families, their friends,
Their histories, their tragedies,
Their favored hyperbole and manner of speech.
Sometimes we establish intimacy with celebrities
Strictly on the basis of universal body language.
At times–in the absence of any other
Empathetic facility of identification–
We connect on instinct alone.
Instinct: perhaps animal at its core,
An animal kingdom affinity group,
Connecting on a bio-linguistic level,
Particularly when the Korean, or Spanish,
Mandarin, or Arabic,
Japanese, or even Hebrew language version is broadcast.
All languages cryptically alien,
A dense boundary, a barrio border wall,
Undecipherable, impenetrable concrete.
But we’ve never spoken to our neighbors,
Nor do we know their names.
Celebrities are the neighbors we know best;
Although the intimacy is an illusion,
Permission to invade their privacy presumed,
Tacit in the relationship between celebrities and their fans.
I am an independent contractor now,
An outside consultant to the NSA.
Try as I might I cannot crack the enigma,
Kim Kardashian remains far beyond my code-breaking prowess.
I repeat myself:
We can no longer sustain a narrative understanding of ourselves;
We are each an individual stream of consciousness,
All of us random, non-linear and disconnected.
We are more and more disconnected from others.
We may be neighbors in space and time,
But we remain deprived of any significant human contact;
Any spiritually significant human contact.
Our social circle narrows to what can fit in The Telescreen; we become more intimate with a legion . . .
Back to you, David Ulin:
“Sometime late last year—I don’t remember when, exactly—I noticed I was having trouble sitting down to read. That’s a problem if you do what I do, but it’s an even bigger problem if you’re the kind of person I am. Since I discovered reading, I have always been surrounded by stacks of books. I read my way through camp, school, nights, and weekends; when my girlfriend and I backpacked through Europe after college graduation, I had to buy a suitcase to accommodate the books I picked up along the way.”
Thank you, David L. Ulin.
I cannot help myself.
I grow more eccentric each day.
My eyeballs glued to that flat screen!

Cosmo Kramer: "The bus is outta control.
So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat,
I get behind the wheel, and now I’m driving the bus."
Jerry: "Wow!"
George Costanza: "You’re Batman."
Cosmo Kramer: "Yeah, yeah, I am Batman.
Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me.
So I’m fighting him off with one hand,
And I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know.
Then I managed to open up the door,
And I kicked him out the door, ya know,
With my foot, ya know, at the next stop."
Jerry: "You kept making all the stops?"
Cosmo Kramer: "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
(Share this moment with a stranger.)

I speak for all mediocrities.
I am their champion, their patron saint.
Boom Chaka Laka. Boom Chaka Laka.
Boom Chaka Laka. BOOM!
Isn’t it time Salieri tempted Constanze–
Frau Mozart–with a plateful of Capezzoli di Venere:
“******* of Venus.”
You had me at hello, Kidman.
I know you too well, Nicole.
I knew you from before,
Way before Tom’s Oprah couch freak show.
Listen to me, Nicole:
We are face to face
With the most profound question in American literature:
"What is the grass?
The flag of my surrender?
The flag of my disposition?"
I resort to Socratic maxims: Know yourself;
The un-****** life is not worth living.
Is it stress? Is it lack of conviction?
Everything Jeff Lebowski neither wants nor needs in his life?
I watched you *** in "Eyes Wide Shut," Nicole.
Now I know you with my eyes and your legs wide open.
Thank you, Sidney Pollack.
Sidney knew.
Sidney dealt us cards
From his Hollywood Tarot deck.
We are intimate, Nicole.
I watched you squat.
Trevor Gates May 2013
Welcome to tonight’s show

Allow me to introduce myself.

I go by many names


Some of which, you may know
But those do not need to be mentioned
a howl, a moan, a scream, a summoning
Let’s keep this interesting.


This is the midnight calling
This is the raven cawing

This is the shadow lurking
And the jackals slurping

The demons wailing
While Charon is sailing,

The Acheron
The river
The first

The Eternal song
Of dripping livers
and Thirst

Stop

This is all confusing
And amusing
To some
And many
But to me it is painful

Demeaning
Putrid
Repugnant
Detrimental
Disturbing

And

­A subjective simmer of passivity
A pious dose of sheer calamity

Once upon a time

In a land past the desert
Was a neon capped city
Devoid of hope

And shaped by
Casual nihilism

And too much money

A powerful portrait in all its brevity
The display of sweltering people melting against the asphalt
The mucous sunscreen and coarse sand between the toes

And crooked nails
And bleached hair
And coffee stained teeth
And pink nails
And Gucci purses
And Versace dresses
Shutter Shades
Corvettes
$5 lap dances

And promiscuous preteen slaves
To MTV
VH1
Pop sensations
Internet ****
Social networks
Smart phones
Model rock stars
Models
Interviews
Auditions
Mundane seductively
For him
Or she
The nepotistic aficionado

of  

Delicious, robust, superb, disdain  
*******: Nose Candy
******: Snake venom
After Parties: ******* adrenaline
***** Film tryouts: Garage studio
LSD: Acid
Plastic: Lips, skins, *******.
24/7
Hits of E
X-T-C

and

Do you have change for a hundred?
Or a change for a life?

Cites in Dust
Thank Siouxsie and the Banshees; A carnival.

Shout
Tears for Fears, they’re Head over Heels

Love will Tear Us apart
From Joy Division, who claims she’s lost control

Los Angeles
“X”
Exene and Billy Zoom’s Wild Gift.

The perpetual rise of sunset rockers and Neon knights.
Teens crawling through the muck of socialites and incubator nightmares
Civil borders wired by racial slurs and salivating bigotry
Water replaced by blood
Spit interchanged for souls
And fire traded for icy methamphetamine

Warriors and survivors

Poets and dreamers

Shooters and inhalers

Geeks and groupies

Burnouts and Dropouts

Sweet dreams are made of this



Such a show, such a show! Bravo Bravo! Thank you, thanks to all I have time to thank: Martin Sheen, Julius Ceasar, Fender Guitars, Randy Marsh, elbow pads, Chuck Berry, Al Green, X, Joy Division, Tears for Fears, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Less than Zero, Alucard, Humphrey Bogart, Grace Kelly, Daryl Dixon, George Harrison, Brad Pitt, Rooney Mara (Love you), Belstaff, Emma Watson (Love you too), Laure Heriard Dubreuil, Manolo Blahnik, Hannah Murray and Michele Abeles.

So many to mention, so little time. We’ll be back.
This is one of my favorites I've done so far in this series. I had just finished reading Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis and watch Gregg Araki's films, The Doom Generation and Nowhere, which all three sum up the existentialism and merging rampancy of living in Los Angeles, California. An experience I will never forget.
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
My friend Darryl had
photochromatic skin
He never knew it till he was almost 19 years old
We met when I reached the age of adult consent
Even though I just spent three years in battle with the post Vietnam War Navy that I had been in
Before escaping the grip of all of those lost and crazy old man of  35
With gray or white hair ******* turned into hooks on one hand or the other
Made to fit coffee cup handles and with faces filled with wrinkles like desert land after a flood

I escaped by walking into the psych ward of the base Hospital through one door and skipping out 3 days later through another
So back in Oklahoma City as far from any ocean as I could possibly be
Summer came along and waved goodbye but took Autumn away with it leaving me in the middle of December
Frost covered and freezing I became aware of the shortcomings in me
So shivering myself back into reality I managed somehow made it to April and a one year gone that I could barely  remember

Buckling down I find a nice little cottage in this old lady's backyard
She gave me homemade cookies and goat's milk she always had frozen in the freezer
Took a job invading the Suburban domain of dogs to gather garbage trying  not to get scarred
Three or four hours a day paid for 8 me and Darryl and a 200-year old geezer

The old man drove the truck and had a corn cob pipe permanently stuck
Between corn kernel teeth that he could revolve and then keep  smoking in the rain
But he was cool and dropped us off at my house after the shift and and he would return the truck
By June uniform of cut offs tennis shoes and no shirt I had a good tan  but Daryls was freaking insane
And this was something while growing up that he never really knew

This was his first year being away from home and the strict Nazarene discipline
Where all shirts had to be white with long sleeves  buttoned up to the collar and  to the wrist
So it was fun to watch him awakening as his hair grew into curls Michael Landon looks super tan and handsome
Maybe I was a bit jealous but I was also happy to watch his confusion as those things became something the girls couldn't resist

We spent our afternoons in the places where pool tables and foosball and girls were played under florescent light
Here he learned something else that he never knew and I saw something I had never ever seen
So I'd get other people to go out to see it and verify that I was right
Three hours under fluorescent light and within three minutes of sun he would darken back to mahogany from an olive green

I'm telling you it was weird  !!!

Late summer ****** his 16 year old brother Dwayne drowned while swimming in a farm pond
And if it wasn't tragic enough the preacher wouldn't let them have the funeral at the Church they grew up in
But he was good enough to say  that he would Preach at the funeral parlor up the street
So with all that was going on that day all the way to the service Daryl I never got a chance to meet

Reasoning being that Dwayne was swimming on a Sunday afternoon which was a sin

So in that crowded Auditorium I was  where I never liked being
10 rows up in front of me Darryl was sitting beside his mom and dad
Somewhere in between was Sharon an old friend of mine that Darryl has been seeing
And if I wasn't uncomfortable enough it was nothing compared to the effect his words had

He was so old with a skull covered by barely enough blue skin  stretched so tight
You could see the veins as he blurted out an unbelievably vicious hateful attack
He was saying Dwayne was in hell and if he could he would come back to tell you not to do what he did because he knows

Yes  he knows he did wrong  and he knows now because of where he is and where he's been
Unbelievably he was saying Dwayne was in hell for swimming on a Sunday as if he had some right to condemn

But with every grotesque punch the old ******* would throw
Darrell's dad would throw up his fist and yell amen
Try as I might to Tamp it down but that anger in me  continue to grow
I was literally on my way up to scream you f** *******
when ........ Darrell threw up his fist and yelled amen

Later that night we were all together and Sharon my old  friend asked me why
So I admitted how close I came before you ...Daryl yelled amen... like your dad
Sharon said I knew ..I knew something was wrong and I wanted to but all I could do was cry
And as Daryl looked at both of us he said I only did that as sarcasm because  I was mad

So you know that little cottage I said I had rented was right down the street
Corner House had an umbrella looking clothes lines right out   front 24/7 covered with white on white long sleeve shirts
So one night about a week later me and a pair of scissors went down the road and came back with 42 sleeves white as sheets
Thinking that'll get him right where it hurts.... hateful *******

Truthfully I never did but I thought about it many times it's been 40 years and I still regret that I didn't!!!
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
There was once a path in the woods, ‘‘tis what the natives say
A place you should not venture, should you ever lose your way
There’s a path for the harvest moon, and one that’s best in blue
But beware yourself the wolf moon, lest you know what’s good for you

There lived an old woman, an ashen cabin wrought with many curses
When her boy was slain by wolves, she recited bible verses
And though god chose not to listen, as she begged him for salvation
The devil heard her sermon, and offered reparations

“Present your boy to the first full moon and bathe him in its light
Then lay him down upon the path and leave him for the night
You’ll have your boy back in your arms by dawn the very latest
And by my act you will see that god is the only sadist

Though there will be times when the debt must be returned
There are always little consequences, lessons to be learned
On each full moon your boy will become a ferocious raging beast
He’ll reap for me another soul for every man’s a feast”

The devil kept his promise and her boy he did well rise
And come the next full moon she saw the devil tells no lies
Before each full moon ever-after she’d chain him in the wood
He’d cry and scream and curse her soul as she did what she could

Until it was the old woman was bitten by the devil as a snake
He had not received his souls for his debt she did foresake
The tree with all its claw marks would stand alone next new moon
And the people of these lands would know horror all too soon

They say the devil watched as the monster ripped into its mother
Her soul the first to go, before he sought about another
The devil took the mother’s soul in his arms and waltzed her out the door
In his strife with god he let the beast set straight the score

If you look upon the somber rock where the earth and moon collide
To the west, and stay down low for its best that you should hide
You’ll see the devil dancing with his lovely maiden fair
While her son hunts in the forest for those that don’t beware
Mike Hauser Apr 2016
As I set out
To jot down this poem
I had no earthly idea
Of what would transpose

And who all would be
Joining along
I'm as surprised as you
To these goings on

I don't recollect
Any of this being nearby
All the glimmer and glamor
Catching my eye

With my mind letting loose
In the wondering why
All of these characters
Are invading my rhymes

There are seals riding trikes
Uniformed Taiwanese
Clowns and their like
With smiley faced knees

Lepords in tights
Like we need more of these
A Kardashian or  two
To put our minds at ease

Daryl Hall and John Oates
Singing loud 80's tunes
And what would be a poem
Without a cow jumping over the moon

Or a chimpanzee
Swinging through the stanzas with ease
Using the tails of snakes
Like a flying trapeze

There's even a racoon
By the name of Rocky we know
Using his Boogaloo
To sweep dust from the poem

And look it's Bob Hope
Selling soap on a rope
To keep it all clean
With a rated "G" tone

With so much going on
Inside of this poem
Guess it's best I stop here
As this has gotten rather long...
Sometimes you just gotta write for the goofy fun of it...
christmas power



i am talking about greame thorne’s only TV performance, you see it was show

called christmas power at elizabeth bay and it was hosted by john bradley, you see john brought

10 young performers in to sing christmas carols to celebrate the reason for this day

and it was set out to be an annual TV event every christmas event, but it never made

it to the 2nd year, so here we go

john’  welcome to christmas power, a show to celebrate the magic of christmas and

i will bring in 10 performers to each sing their favourite christmas carols

first up here is kenny butler aged 11 singing silver bells

he sang it well and said at the end, how about that

john’  thanks kenny and let’s see how mrs santa claus is going, here is therse berlin with mrs santa claus

and therese sang that song with absolute grace and beauty and then john introduced, greame thorne (me)

and tim mcgrath, and they will sing silent night, and they blew away the crowd so beautifully and then

after that, the next singer was bert somers with i am sending a letter to santa claus, and every note was

played so great, and then john bradley sang jingle bells and rudolph the red nosed reindeer as santa came

out to say hello to everyone on tv australia’s first christmas show, and as santa left the stage, john brought

greg harrison out to sing hi ** silver lining and he sang that so great, he was asked by church groups to

do future shows and then john bradley brought daryl simmons comes on stage to sing away in a manger

and drove the crowd completely wild and got a standing ovation and then john bradley brought out harry stone

aged 12 and he sang we wish you a merry christmas and greame thorne(me) came out to sing good tidings we

bring to you and your king, and harry got audience participation as well as a standing ovation

john brought out the 8 th singer madelline rupert, aged 5, with white christmas, and yeah mate yeah

this was the greatest version ever, and maddeline was amazed with all the crowd really cheering her performance

and now john bradley brought out the 9th singer 10 year old jacob stone, brother of harry, and he sang

jolly old st nicholas, and everyone joined in singing and gave him a standing ovation, and then john

introduced molly ringwould to sing the christmas list, and this was a very moving performance and blew the

crowd away and at the end she got a standing ovation, and now, it was time to announce the christmas power award winner

and they rolled the drums, and therese berlin won the award, and they gave her a plaque and $500, and

this was the end of the first and last version of christmas power and there is no real proof of this show as the

tape was stolen and thrown out to sea, pretty much what happened to greame thorne (me), so there isn’t proof

but i remember this was an excellent previous life memory i have, and
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
Why we **** and the irrational logic that is ego.

      People really are the worst. No other creature on the planet is as unapologetically narcissistic, ego driven, and petty as we are. And it baffles the **** out of me.
      Let’s look at it from a logical point of view. You wake up in the morning and you think to yourself “I’m a person of fine caliber who deserves the undying love I get.” You’re not and you don’t. You’re a piece of self serving **** and I’ll prove it to you.
       You brush your teeth. You’re supporting a chemical company that tested the chemicals they used to come up with that refreshing minty taste on animals. A creature died so that you can feel clean.
        Your shoes were made by an uneducated poor as **** Malaysian child that sleeps on a dirt floor and hasn’t eaten in two days. But no, they look great on you. You ******* donkey.
        Your phone? That precious ****** device you use to keep the secrets of who you actually are. Those pics, those texts. The minerals used to make that phone were mined by slaves under deplorable working conditions. However, you need to get that ****** selfie so ole Ping Pongs stage seventeen cancer is going to have to wait *******.
        The oil burnt off by the giant ****** container ship they used to transport 90% of the useless **** you have to buy from Walmart? Well that kind of negates your eco friendly tampons, so no Janet you’re not doing **** to save the planet.
         Look. I have no problem with people doing as they do. But for ***** sake, own up to it. If you’re going to be a *******, stop ******* kidding yourself into thinking you’re entitled. Because you’re not.
         Ask nature. I assure you if a Timber wolf should approach you with the ability to talk. He’s not going to say “I ******* love what you’ve done with the place.” Tress are not going to hug you and birds aren’t going to sing to you. They hate you. Nature hates you. Because we’ve done nothing but hate **** her and ourselves at every turn.
         People know they don’t have long. They know their time is short. So they seek out the immediate sources of gratification. “Because tomorrow may not be here Jimmy so if Marilyn wants an interracial ****** *******. What am I as her husband to say?” *** Daryl?
         Hence all the pain we inflict on ourselves and others. The typical person will cut the throat of anything they covet if the right buttons are pushed. It’s inevitable. Even if it means cutting off our noses to spite our faces. A person will do it every time.
        That’s your reason to not trust a ******* if you’re looking for one. Not because of who they are. But because of what they are.
         People are hypocritical cancerous cells hell bent on the indulgences of our momentary needs. That’s it. We deserve nothing because our behavior doesn’t warrant it. We give nothing back in comparison to what we take and we’re as apathetic as **** about it.
         It’s always been the reason for my own self loathing. I feel like I should be apologizing to ******* Gaia every morning for what I’m about to do. I feel like I deserve every bit of pain I’ve suffered for the slights my mere existence has brought upon the world and other people. And.
        That’s what ****** me off about other people. Especially the ones that like themselves. The **** did you do? Cure cancer? You **** and you’re too ****** stupid to even know why. You’re not as nice as you think you are. Because I bet I can round up at least a dozen ******* from your past that would agree. And just by statistics alone, they’re not all wrong.
         We’ve all done our damage. We’ve all hurt someone. We’ve lied for our own benefit and there’s no measure to how far we’d go to secure that which lets us sleep at night. It’s what we are.
         I only ask that people own up to it. Stop kidding yourself into thinking what you get in life is earned or deserved. I can assure you that there is a perfectly irrational answer for it all. And it’s not because you’re special.
Trying to present my self as intellectual.
Makes me look like im pathetic.
I flow like water in the ocean.
Get it going like diaretic.
Spider senses start to tingle.
For the web site Christian mingle. Where I met a guy named
Shannon  bingle. Man actually had me shingle
Married to the roofing life.
Like Taylor Mackinney to her kraft singles.
Cheesy as they come. Logan gablehouse.  Is greasy.
The world is
thirsty for the fast deal
Sign like handcock on the contract.
Pro ball scholarship
But give handjobs in the back field.
Tyson smokes so much Marijuana
He knows how being black feels
When interrogated by the cops
Paranoia he doesn't act real.
My mom thinks she's European.
No native blood.
I asked her how does that feel.
She replied in French with Jordan gablehouse. Do you wanna taste your last meal...
J said you *******. Tell me how the grass feels.
And keegan just like forest Gump.
Hes dashing through the back marsh
To avoid the dudes with fast cars
Who blame him for doing bath salts...
Jack jack wanted aish so bad.
He collapsed in madness with me **** it yesh man thats real. And sad
Drugs I'm so disgusted by. I'm bring serious to say this jack. Man
You gotta say your peace. To the fake back stabbers and not take it ******* back
Get clean and sober. Stay on track
With medication.
And watch how much fakeness your closest friends shape shift and react
Funny stuff aside.
Manas really great with that.
She took two dumb ******* crazy rats.
Caged in habitat. And made them slay a crazy rap....than slaughtered them for science. Donated their *******. To science. Experiment gone violent.
She's not ok with that.
Karmin is an angel.
Thinks she names all that.
Inside her head. A secret undercover braniac.
And Riley is an amazing man.
Talented and brave as stan
But I didn't tell you.
Stan is my fan name.
When I'm ****** mister nameless slim shadey type of ****. To some gangster jams....
Grandma Gisele is a thank you mam
Do you actually spank the ham
Like Christmas web cam. Food. ****.
Christmas day. You can thank my hand....
Richard gablehouse. Was pregnant with a chicken glaze.
He undressed food so many different ways
Little booties on the Christmas bird.
Bout to expose those little legs...
Oh its just humor ***** slip off the case.
I love my dad yo pieces.
There's a reason I'm a little raged.
No one seen the terrifying look
He harbored just for me.
When I didn't obey....
We got over all that.
Cleared that **** away
We had to make up. Every 15 seconds
New fight but its a different day
I feel bad. But hey its meant this way...
Alex Fanta was in debt to native medicine that made him good and gay...
His wood is great... i hear Scott hedge brag. You thought I didn't love you guys cmon. Don't be dumb AND gay
I woulda say.
She should stayed.
But cherry your a woman stain.
You look like hulk had a vasectomy and you got the ******* stuff that hangs...
Just kidding love you babe. I'm just trying to be funny.
Scare you
Cherry you ******* dummy.
I'll always provide for you with money.
But you gotta be so ******* stun. You refuse me rights. To my kids who absolutely love me.
I said ill always take care of you.
But your going to have to stop being a dummy....
Derek Moore you mega *******.
Your nieces self  esteem is ripped. And all your other kiddies jeans. *** you had to be inside  it you ******* *******...... go eat a demons ****.. id rather be a traffic cone in **** t least you'd see my **** than be your only reason why you didn't commit suicide when God agreed with it..  at least coulda did it for the ones you loved. I know thats fuckinv mean and **** but next time you **** with me jm going to have you seeing ****...
Cherry entire family. Hold up freeze it quick. While we're out and telling secrets quick.
I ****** Ashley's boyfridnds ***** yep. At least before you two met.
I did alot of foolish ****.....
Corsette and lingerie. And of course his *** stain ruined it...
Just kidding couldnt get him off. Or even fit it in. No room and ****.
He got the hugest ****.... don't know how you don't get split in two and ****... ******* ruined *****
Or at least get **** sized bruises on your ***** and hips.
Whatever not 100 percent certain but I hope if it is true you say your cool with it.....
Dylan Hutchison I love you but you never grew up actually knowing me.
You kids **** on your dad. I know it hurt you but it had broken me...
I get it he was drunk and druggy.
But he loved you two so devotely.
Just wish you had some time.
While he was living to start showing me. You were open to him emotionally
I get it. You were busy.  Coulda sent him via email. artwork dreams and poetry... so he knows how much you truly love him.
Beneath the disconnection. Tell him how bad a place your feeling come from...
Moving on. Forget deceased.
There's still a bunch of dumb *****.
Reese swampy drop your pants punchline like 8 mile at the lunch truck...
Lyssa let's get frisky. While your cats lick my nuts like going down after 60 rounds suffering they ******* punch drunk....

Sha you **** ***** I still got a **** lets make it happen...
Prefer dudes. But who's to say a little **** show couldn't happen.
We actually had a ******* with hot muscled Travis.
We got his **** in me my **** in you
And did a little jordan sandwich...
Sheldon chartrand I masturbated thinking of you ******* me ******* it....
You could slam the pack of shingles fast. So **** black and tanned yep...
Thought about your fast hands so hot like a math lab with the Cranstons...
Exploding for Chris Roan.. who?? Chris roan... a sickness no different from cancer... i felt so much love for you. But had no ******* hope or answers... you didn't know I was this way inside. Just the way God had to plan it.... you coulda made me feel included though with out you I couldn't understand it.....theres was just this separation. Anxiety. And sadness...renuka your my favorite. Of all my mental workers...
I came to you a creep hell bent on ******. And you repurposed my inside sanity. Restoring me to perfect...
Cleared my name to child service workers..
And did me such a service...
Ryan too and garry. At least you guys live through your purpose...
Helping hand and gentle hands.
Reach every different person..
Liseanne your ******* gorgeous.
Picture perfect
**** enormous... but you set me up for stis in your quest to send off young Brianna... i got chaffing in my ****.
*** you hooked her up with more dudes. Than rihanna...
In the back of your mini van or suv can't stand it but the infection had been managed...
Sorry rihanna... I love uou your thr best so beautiful can hardly stand it
I'm rambling oh yeah let me be candid. About Travis. Matron was his last name. And he smoked crack so ******* savage.. child psychologist slash roofer. I actually believed you in a panic... don't know who's stupider. The dude who won the poker game for hoarding the titanic or the dude that.
Lost his pride and got his poker *** kicked...
Jade my truest form of poetry in nervous flight.
My girl of mine.
My nervous rhymes.
Could not muster up at courage time..
Your my first love.
For a reason the best is always first in line..
But I ****** and hurt your mind...
With my words and worthless spine..
You deserve so much in life.
I hope you know I think your worth our time...
Like a child is bursting with a nursery rhyme...
Okay its ******* ****** time...
Steven Irvine your a word so
***** it perturbs my mind.
Disturbed that I. Would like you to have courage. And turn your rap gift into words that rhyme and.
******* merk the earth this time...
Tyler moose you ***** line.
Sniffed off jet lis little ****...
You **** more ***** than Jason Bixby.
Holy **** he takes alot...
Its cool though. Say im sorry...
My motto is keep on trucking...
So much more ok so **** it..
I'll keep rambling on bout nothing....
Kayla gambler think we made a babie.. but you didn't tell me...
I hope whoever she belongs to that she's happy safe and healthy...
Nolan Robb I'm sorry for saying you ****** **** for crack. At the time my thought was that was wack. Until I sunk as low as that... current day just ****** an old guy for a sack of Molly and an open pack.... Daryl Marshall your a good dude... but your ****** up deep inside.. i can see it in your eyes... your scared of being wrong and aldo being right... you fear failure fear success. And you fly off the ******* handle... ive seen my dad get mad but jees loiuise he couldn't hold a candle...
You make Rambo look like prolapse ****** sagging in the sun...
Old ******* on your rage is much more destructive than a gun....
Jordan Marshall your a *** stain that should sat on Michelle's tongue....
Swallowed did a good job. Just ******* kidding bud.... your pretty ******* funny. And also pretty dumb ..
But at least your not like Tyler marsh shoving fisher price toys in his ***....
Oh please I got uou all beat and then some the world knows my story...
Would you call it boring... **** no.
But I no longer want the sea being stormy. I just wanna find one man after surgery get ***** and tilt his single axis planet into orbital retraction. Supernova. Every morning. ****** sweaty pores. From ***** inter planetary pornscenes.. but first I gotta morph. Into a woman so I feel more like my self inside. Its more rewarding..
To not ignore your thoughts. To have some wants. Take off early system warnings. Relax. And dream of rap gods. Jesus. And the last 15 years of poor me...



...
Jamison Bell Dec 2021
Merry Christmas Grandma,
Thought I'd fill you in on what's been going on here for the holidays. Since you can't be with us on account of you having your vaginal gout flare up again. Dad says it's just as well since you're not actually my grandma and really just some homeless lady I keep writing letters for. So I thought I'd huff whatever I can find under the sink and write you up.
Timmy had had another bad dream last night. He wet the bed and the Wolfhound that had been given to my aunt by her ex Snott, his name was actually Scott but he couldn't pronounce the letter c. Well it went crazy and killed Timmy. The Wolfhound, not Snot. My sister Tammy is pretty upset since his name had come up in her ****** Advent Calendar.
Mom took us by the prison last week to see Uncle Skinny. He's still in isolation so we had to yell at him though the drainage pipe in the back. Says he's doing well. Still eating skin every chance he gets but hasn't had a cigarette in four months. We're all pretty proud of him. We used a tent pole to shove some chicken skins through the pipe and wished him a Merry Christmas.
Our neighbors are having a dispute over Christmas decorations. Seems our new neighbors the Crowleys celebrate Christmas by going from house to house and screeching satanic verses into a megaphone whilst making their kids dance for nickels. Seriously these kids will not stop dancing unless you have nickels. Try throwing a quarter? Nope, they just dance harder. Nobody in the neighborhood is sure as to whether or not it's child abuse so we just collectively try to make sure we have nickels at all times. These people will just jump out of the bushes screeching and dancing. The other kids are afraid to wait for the bus in the morning.
Well in an effort to get them to stop. Our other neighbor begain having an affair with the wife in the schreechy family. My guess is he was going to blackmail her to get her family to stop screeching and singing. Well she ended up keeping the baby he knocked her up with. Turns out her husband is a cuck and into the whole thing. So now whenever you see them, they're pushing a stroller with his kid in it. His wife left him for her stepdaughter and they're making ***** films in Burbank. Daryl and I are thinking of trying to cheer him up by decorating his house for Christmas for him. We're going to turn a woodchipper towards his house and throw green paint and squirrels into it. Because he's always feeding the squirrels so we think he'll like it.
I found out what my friend next door is getting for Christmas. I saw his dad shopping for trampolines at the trampoline store in the trampoline district downtown. They have to perfect yard for it. They'll probably put it near the pool with the waterslide and the next to the rock climbing wall. Hopefully my friend will do more than just sit in his wheelchair and cry about it like he does every year.
Anyway. I should probably go clean up what's left of Timmy. I was supposed to do it hours ago but the dog has playing with Timmys corpse for a while. He shakes it around and flings it down the hall. Then he picks it up and runs around the house with it. Mom and dad will be back from their swingers party at the orphanage soon so I better get to it.
Tomorrow is Christmas. I can't wait. After I open my presents and have breakfast. I'm going to do what I always do. I'm going to stand in front of the Mosque and smoke cigarettes in a very intimidating manner. Once they come out to see what I want. I offer to scratch their ***** if they'll bring me some figgy pudding. It hasn't happened yet but I remain hopeful.
Have a Merry Christmas Grandma.
Love Billy
Donna wanted to look more like Darrell Waltrip than she already did so she rafted to Alaska to take 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴. Her doctor examined her in a dismissive way. "Miss Jones, it's going to take months for me to make you look more like Darrell Waltrip than you currently do." Donna was devastated by the prognosis. "Doctor, exactly how would you make me look more like Darrell Waltrip than I currently do?" The doctor looked out the window at Negroes ransacking Target. "That's easy enough. I'd simply remove the sections of your face that don't look like Darrell Waltrip." Six months later Donna rafted back to California to a surprise birthday party hosted by Darrell Waltrip who was secretly in love with her. "Oh Darrel," Donna cooed when they were having ****** ******* in bed together, "I don't know where your body ends and mine begins because we look so much alike." Darrell smiled, exposing 5 rotten teeth up front. "I'm not really Darrell Waltrip. I'm a hobo who just pretends to be." Donna smirked. "My name's not Donna Jones. I'm really Daryl Hannah from the movie 𝘚𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘩 and you're under arrest for impersonating a race car driver!"

— The End —