I found a girl who embodies the galaxy
her soul is made up of stardust
and I have never seen anything
more breathtaking

Her lips are made of the Milky Way
and when she kisses me it tastes
like summer nights and nostalgia
sunscreen and orange creamsicles
—when she cups my face with her hand
it’s a tenderness my body has never known
and sometimes it scares me just how
gentle a person can be
when they have the universe inside of them
but I know she’ll never hurt me
as long as the stars glimmer each night
her soul will be full of sunshine by morning

With constellations eyes she looks at me
and I forget there was ever a time
where she was not in my life
because I feel like I’ve known her forever

So maybe we were created
from the same star
the universe is a hopeless romantic
that loves a happy ending
so I’m hoping I get mine
the same way I hope that she stays happy
when she see cotton candy skies
as the sun sets and I’m greeted
by the galaxies inside of her

Alone on the pedestrian bypass bridge,
breathing summer sunset,
I swirl the stubby balsa spoon on my tongue
as the evening commute buzzes beneath my feet,

and wonder: how did I miss this all before?
how
wind washes bare arms,
world still
soft round
the sharp edges;
how ivy lush covers thickly the brick walls over,
and brazen broad-leafed bushes
crowd onto cobblestone street corners, and
wistful weeds cushion cement sidewalk cracks;

how when the sun’s rays are blades from the horizon,
our city lights twinkle tight but
tap dance so light on the retina
in the vignetted  
sky of creamsicles and cotton candy;
and how
the frozen chocolate chips
break brittle between my teeth
and the cookie-dough bite’s so smooth
and still so tooth-melting sweet

just as i am about to die
your voice
frees me from the shame
of love
of ******* to the dream
the dreamer awaits ironic twists of fate
upon the upper decks of the plane
respect this open drain
and twirl into her arms
drown in her charms
ride the ferry to the starry grave
paddle harder
insert the coins into eye sockets
your majesty
your beauty is beyond
so please forgive her
you can do it now
her messes are her own affair
your love is ever after
every moment
growing
becoming wise means hiding nothing
the secret songs suggesting
miles of lavender grown into the sky
from weedy eyebrows
upper lips
lower lips
chins, chests and *******
covered with sarsaparilla and sage
her mage, her magi
her magic was surreal
feather and down upon her gown grown in thymeʼs rage
thymeʼs orphans
ophelia
lemon verbena
underwear made from creamsicles and cotton
cashmere beauty blossoms
hop on this jumbled vehicle
busloads of people
teachers and dreamers
fresh eyed screamers
unbelievable pairs of pretty people
invincible
envision vision fleeting and fair
her throne, her bones, and her hair
formed into triangles forever
your sweater, your dresses, and your couches made of leather
into this page i wrote and wrote and gave my blood for nothing

I’ll be fine, I guess.
So would you.
How soon
depends
on how we broke.
In half? Rough and jagged at the ends
With you clinging angrily to your end and I to mine?
Angry, stubborn tears stinging
in your eyes or mine
That’d be a while
But you’d be fine. I’d be fine.
Or maybe
the courting of Death
Seductive caresses across my wrists and lips or
something sudden and final
In screeching brakes and the smell of rubber tires
denial
and hollow ringing
as I think for the first time in my life
God, I wish I wasn’t wearing black.
It doesn’t matter.
A fight
An illness
A drifting? eventual (we had nothing left in common)
You’d be fine.
You’d remember me in fleeting moments
Flicking past a space documentary on Netflix
or pausing over a box of creamsicles in the frozen aisle
And I would see you
In the golden yellow hair of a passerby
But it would pass every time
One of us might laugh at the thought once we said
you and me
to the bitter end
That a teenager knew what forever and always was
and chalk it up to youthful naiveness
And we would be fine.
But I don’t want to be fine
I want to be laughing so hard my stomach almost lacerates
Because you know exactly what to say
And I want to be pressing
Kisses to your cheek and passing you hot cocoa
Because today we’re staying in and watching Disney
(singing along to every song of course)
I want to introduce you to everyone
Have you met…?
And tell strangers in the grocery store
About the most wonderful thing you did
And watch them smile kindly
over me gushing about you
across the stacks of tomatoes.
And I want to tell you over the phone about that stranger
So you can say
ew, tomatoes.
I don’t want to be fine, I want to be the kind of ecstatic
That only comes from us
From discussing everything from lipsticks to physics to musicals to dying
From knowing that when I am so tired I can feel it in my soul
You will hold me and let me cry
From believing it will always be us against everything
From living happily ever after
Because what is fine
Compared to this?

Sipping red juice, cigarettes leaf loose, filter tip flick brush fire
The truth from a liar, a bullet from a Steyr AUG, hitting meat
The mercy seat is open, we're still hoping on a miracle
Melts away like summer sun creamsicles, removed like tonsils
Swerve low sweet cherry fly, come on through let's get real high
Forget about the world and the hurdles jumped through to grow old and die
Constantly asking why, a species unwillingly born
Fire and scorn we rain down on one another, its life being taken from our species, our brothers
How many mothers have to outlast their children?
Instill in me some recipe for success, bless this next step off
The road used to be soft, but I can feel the potholes now
With a sudden bow we retreat to our lonely places
Screens replace faces and we talk less, less stress
Exhaling whatever type of smoke from your chest
Hummingbird feathers sewed into your vest
You bring out the best in me, give me sight to see
the possibilities

And I still love each and every one of you.
From the ****** to the harlots, the housewives, single mothers and emo creamsicles.
The scene chicks with the big hair always held a hold on my chest.
Dyed hair, whiskey and cigarettes.
Play another round, let's stay a while and place another bet.
The house is losing at last, so goodbye to all of you.
An **** subsides, the **** of a nation's replaced the pornstars.
I've got horns on from the things I've done to you, for you and with you.
A latina *** is sleeping in my bed and there's a Colombian marching band playing through my head.
There's only so many pikes to fit these holes and hoist my severed visage.
I'm a wizard but not the grand type; more Gandolf the grey, country white boy neurodivergent.
The city's gone now there's a kitten in my bed, with her *** in the air and the smell of **** and *** in the air.
There's an animalistic, cannibalistic streak to the violence between our touches.
I'm a rough **** hungover from a trip down suicide lane again;
At least it's more ideation and less action;
But ain't that my problem these days anyway?
I miss the dyed hair, the tattoos and the things I'mma do to you.
Let's hurry up this solo-death and spill ****** fluids across the canvas again, lover one.