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Sara Kellie Jul 2018
The opening night,
in front of packed house.
The story, a fight,
between a cat and a mouse.
The cat with her guile and
the mouse, all the while.
Powers up a ******' chainsaw
with a knowing wry smile.

So never bet against the mouse
with either money or your house
because the crafty **** takers
have slashed the odds at bookmakers
as to what's in the pies
at the new high street bakers.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Old enemies retold.
Paul Butters Jun 2016
On the twenty third of June, anniversary of my father’s death,
The United Kingdom voted to LEAVE the European Union.
It was a close-run thing:
Fifty two percent to forty eight,
Though over a million votes between.

A result that will go down in the annals of history.
Another vote the pollsters and bookmakers got wrong.
I voted Leave, confidently expecting to Lose!!!
My friends were split in two
As Remainers became ReMOANers!

For I’m now branded a nationalist, bigoted racist
Who has made a massive mistake.
But I insist: Britain has Rejoined the World
And Our Commonwealth.

We are reborn
So sure there will be teething troubles.
We’ll have to learn to walk and talk again.

Cast off your gloom, Remainers!
Rejoice the brand new day.
Britain can be great again
As the dawn chorus resonates around the globe.
Opportunity smiles down on us.
It won’t be easy,
But when ever was it so???

The Phoenix rises,
Unfurling its golden wings…

Paul Butters

© PB 27\6\2016.
Brave New World
anastasiad Jan 2017
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Bet that wasn't on the agenda
and
now she's got to tend her
letter of resignation.

It's not really cricket
but
they don't have the *****

ten to one they'll bail out
when the ice queen falls.

who's a naughty boy then?
Jeremy,
you worry me
sneaking in like that.

I'd like to think that that was that,
but past experience shows
even when they've lost the plot
not one of them ******* goes.

I tried to delete the expletive
but predictive text knows all
which has shown to me
to let things be
and it
will be alright.
aloadhar Jan 2015
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Gaffer May 2016
The funeral was well attended
Nobody came
It was sad in a way
Clashed with the dog passing away
There was a friend with a leg
When I say a leg
I actually mean two
Though he had the flu
The Priest nearly made it
But he passed too
The butcher discussed it with the baker
In the newsagents where the notice was placed
Was it his wife who put it in
Well yes, to begin
Then a black guy called Fred
Placed another, hopefully dead
Followed by Titch
Who looked quite rich
But was really his *****
Not to detract from Simon
Frowned the butcher, calling him pieman
Though, that was simplistic
The florist  cried foul
She had the contract
But just for a while
It was left to the undertaker
Wade
Who had to subcontract
When thieves stole his *****
Joe from the pub
With the maths degree
Discussed the angles
Buried under a tree
Bernadette, at the bookmakers
Had to agree
Rushing off to mass
Father Joe listened with glee
It was a trying day in the village of Dull
The pub was in mourning
There was a definite lull
But one thing was agreed
As they slowly got ******
Rover the dog
Would surely be missed.
aloadhar Jan 2015
On 10/1/2015 , fans can watch The Montpellier vs Marseille live streaming online. Ajaccio vs Nimes Streams can be watched with iPhone and iPad devices as well as tablet-pcs like Nexus, Xperia and Galaxy.

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Edward Coles May 2014
Come talk to me over the chattering mouths
Of customers and acquaintances.
We can drink coffee in the beer garden,
Agitating the tobacco leaves far too often
And using friendship as therapy.

You’ll sit with your sunglasses framed in your hair.
An old scar is a teardrop, as we claim compensation
For the damage done in our years apart.
Come walk with me through old graveyards,
As the living take to existence.

Teenagers catcall and chase each other in the park,
They shelve their hair in the wind
And religiously practice apathy.
We link arms past the tree hollow full of syringes,
Knowing there is nothing left to surprise us.

These streets are turning into a gamble;
Bookmakers, cash converters and hairdressers
Train feet towards the old clock tower.
Only the sprawl of supermarket isles
Keeps ignorance well-fed in this town.

Come listen to these old songs with me.
The poet is dead, but the melody lives,
And it is still wonderful to be alive.
Come with me past the crooked spire;
The devil left long ago.
c
Gaffer Apr 2015
The funeral was well attended
Nobody came
It was sad in a way
Clashed with the dog passing away
There was a friend with a leg
When I say a leg
I actually mean two
Though he had the flu
The Priest nearly made it
But he passed too
The butcher discussed it with the baker
In the newsagents where the notice was placed
Was it his wife who put it in
Well yes, to begin
Then a black guy called Fred
Placed another, hopefully dead
Followed by Titch
Who looked quite rich
But was really his *****
Not to detract from Simon
Frowned the butcher, calling him pieman
Though, that was simplistic
The florist  cried foul
She had the contract
But just for a while
It was left to the undertaker
Wade
Who had to subcontract
When thieves stole his *****
Joe from the pub
With the maths degree
Discussed the angles
Buried under a tree
Bernadette, at the bookmakers
Had to agree
Rushing off to mass
Father Joe listened with glee
It was a trying day in the village of Dull
The pub was in mourning
There was a definite lull
But one thing was agreed
As they slowly got ******
Rover the dog
Would surely be missed?
My chances of being offended ended Delaney's donkey's years ago,
see
Grammarly just corrected me and did I care? not in the slightest, you can correct me in any way that takes your fancy and that probably offends the corporal punishment crew and ***** them too which more than likely offends everyone who's a carpenter.

you can't win which offends the optimists, the bookmakers, casinos and the wheels of fortune,

some dinosaurs survived the long winter
and that probably offends someone.
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2020
And they're off to a good
start from the Bill Gates.
Ground conditions being
perfect for the international
chase with a horse from
every country represented
in this years 2020 vision
Gold Cup. Commentators
from most stations will be
giving you a relayed update
from the central box which
has capacity but for one
due to social distancing
therefore it has to be the
W.H.O. who incidentally
this year are running a
complete outsider a 19
year old with no course
or distance experience
but odds on favourite to
win according to the tote
bookmakers as they seem
to think Covid, bred in
Israel and trained in USA
had a lot of last minute
betting just before the off.
                  <>
Covid 19 sired by Vested
Interest who has a good
track record ran very well
in the Wall St Hurdle was
ridden by  Dow Jones and
trained by The Leman Bro's.

— The End —