Like an onion, I had layers.
And you peeled me away, one at a time.

One layer off.
You saw my favorites.
The food and drinks I crave for.
The wall paint I wanted for my room.
The perky dresses, nail polish, knee-high boots.
And the spot I always prefer to be- on the front seat.

One layer off.
You saw my hobbies.
The words I stitched together.
The stars that formed our zodiac sign.
The wallclimbing, badminton, volleyball.
And the guitar strings that strum our lullaby.

One layer off.
You saw my dreams.
The plane ticket to Paris.
The thrill of a bungee jump.
The candlelit dinner, fireworks, dancing fountain.
And the license as a medical physician.

One layer off.
You saw my strengths.
The smile behind the false judgements.
The tears I fought back with pride.
The temperance, confidence, adjustments.
And the self-love I have strongly magnified.

One layer off.
You saw my insecurities.
The missing dimple on my left cheek.
The pimples on my forehead.
The bitchface, fierce stare, strict walk.
And this prominently thin-but-tall body figure.

One layer off.
You saw my regrets.
The kisses I could have refused.
The friends I thought were true.
The false assumptions, unmet expectations.
And the trust I gave to the wrong person.

One layer off.
You saw my secrets.
The punches I had to take.
The bruises I covered with my sleeves.
The lies, frustrations, disappointments.
And the brokenness suppressed in my memory.

The last layer, off.
You saw through me.
The anxiousness escalating slowly.
The exposure feeling uneasy.
I felt stripped, explored, unguarded.
And in my nakedness - you had to choose:

To love or to leave me,
For who I really am.

I got some drama /Yeah-uh/with some haters
All I can say is I'll have to see you later
Cause I've got my own thing
Yeah, I've got my bling bling
n' now I know you're all just hate'n on my ching-ching
cause I'm so happy designing clothes
Yeah-uhh, you so want a pair of those
it makes me sing out loud/heck yeah/ I'm so **** proud yeah-uh/ I love to own it/yeah-uh--cause I love to show it
n' I'm so happy to be alive/yeah uhh/I'm groove'n with a smile
creating jewelry and, my line of clothes
you're so drooling over those
Oh, yeah-uh/you know ya wanna own it
Yeah/I'm so happy to be a girl who's on her game
I'm make'n bling with my own name
And it's not like I'm all that
uh, hell no/I ain't no kinda stuck up brat
I keep it real/Yeah-Uh-- I keep it low
I keep it classy like a cat-eyed 90210
I pass some girls /Yeah--uh, out on the street
n' when they give me that nasty bitchface look
you know the one with shark fish hooks
it's the one up n' down/then so slyly to the ground
Yeah-uh, you flash up from my face/and, then so slyly to my feet
while I pass them on the street
they check my ***
Yeah-uh --
the bitchface pass
I got some drama /Yeah-uh/with some haters
All I can say is I'll have to see ya later
Cause I've got my own thing
Yeah, I've got my bling bling
n' I'm so happy to be groove'n to my own thing
So sing it now/Yeah-uh/come join me now
If you can afford this kinda look/you're gonna love the second looks
Cause you gotta swing it like you own it/yeah-uhh you got to get down low n' own it/Yeah-uh/cause girls like us we like to show it/Yeah-uh we love to dress up all couture/n' swagger with allure/
n' when haters pass/as they're checking out my ***/I say...
I'll see ya later
*I say goodbye

My resting ***** face is my superpower,
That and my ability to survive.
But you can’t have one without the other,
My survival and my superpower walk hand in hand through the valley that is
“Sweetheart” men,
Kissy face men,
Will shout at you in the street men
And will say you were asking for it men.
You thought I wanted it?
Look at this ***** face,
And tell me I wanted it, *****.
I have learnt that the world will throw knives and snarls in my direction,
And a simple smile will not end this affection,
And so a resting ***** face ends that sort of *******.
Because suddenly, when you look like a woman who won’t take ****,
Men won’t give you ****.
When life gives you lemons,
Make a **** orange.
You won’t be given anything.
One day, I’m gonna tell my baby girl
“Remember, a resting ***** face is your superpower,
And you can do anything you put your mind to.”
I have survived everything that has come my way so far,
Me and my resting ***** face will rule this world.

You've made it clear that I will never whisper
Dear
And, I will never call out your name
You've made your point, Oh yes, you've made it clear
that pain is all you want to inflict on me
Dear
You've cheated and you've lied
I've seen your stupid truck parked outside
when you've come around n' spied --
I am walking away from this home
that you've forced me to sell on my own
with your bitchface lawyer on your side
n' your puffed up chest filled with pride --
So that you could say that you took me down
I guess that makes you feel like you're a man
because you enjoy inflicting pain when you can
to the woman that once gave you all her love
let me tell you I am going to rise above
I am going to walk away and not look back
I am going to make sure my heart is left intact
So go on an' try to inflict more pain on me...
my back is the only thing you'll ever see
Cause you'll never know where to find me again
and, you'll realize that the pain you've tried to send
will have come to a final end.

"Yeah, that's 'Almost' with an 'A', yup, kind like
'John Amos' but with a 't' on the end,  also with
an 'l' between the 'a' and the 'm'..."
"Huh? Who's John Amos? jaysus feckin christ,
'Good Times'? The guy with the wide nostrils?
Bad example, sorry, let's move on..."  
"...that's 'a' as in 'aardvark', 'l' as in... no no no, only
one 'a'... 'l' as in 'lemur', 'm' as in... '******' (this
person knows how 'aardvark is spelled?) 'o' as in
'o my god', 's' as in... 'seizure'- yeah, that's 'seizure'-
S,E,I,Z,... no no no! not 'c'! 'z' as in 'zoo'...  'u' as in
(******* christ) 'UNICEF'... yeah, UNICEF, I think it's
an anagram... huh? ANAGRAM! with an 'a'!  'a' as in..."
"Okay, so that's 'a'... where the **** were we? NO
I WON'T WATCH MY LANGUAGE! Anyway where
the **** are you? Mumbai? As in former Bombay?
(why'd they change the name?)... and why do they
only train you in English cuss words? What was that?
What I just said or how do I spell my name? o crap just
never mind."
"...'o'? What's after 'o'? You mean you're actually keeping
track?!? wow! Forget what I said about your training-
you're a ******* genius... O... no, not 'o'! Only one
'o'! So, one 'o', not two, not..."
"In fact, **** it, I don't give a **** anymore, add an 'o'
to my name, call me "Almoost" call me "Bitchface", huh?
You wanta know how I spell Bitchface?"
"Where were we... 'o'... NO! NOT A THIRD 'O'!"
" 's' as in **** **** ****... and 't' as in um, Tel Aviv
... hello? HELLO???"
"O my god o my god omygodomygod I just got
disconnected!"
"NOOOOOOOO"!

I've learned to nod
to smile
when you hear the name
or see the face
just play happy and then
zone the **** out.

I've learned that when a topic
makes you uncomfortable
just be quiet
don't argue
that contributes
just wait for it to go away

I've learned that when you don't like something
get away from it
don't explain yourself
no one will agree with you
no matter what
don't defend yourself
you don't have to

I've learned that headphones
and a severe case of bitchface
make people turn the other way
and the few that are curious
go away after a ****** thumbs up
and a strained smile

I've learned that being a *****
and being quiet
and doing things for yourself
help you scrape by
just
enough

I've leaned that *******
and indifferent
feel very much
the same

You talk people down just to make yourself feel better.
You talk to them like they are nothing more then a plastic bag tossed away after just one use. A piece of plastic ripped and broken.

you talk to her.

You say she's fat, ugly, weird and unwanted, just to hide that these words are the things you that tell yourself every single morning when you wake up and sit in front of that same mirror that makes you hate yourself.

You hate yourself.

You despise that reflection that stares back at you every single morning. You put on your bitchface before you leave the house, so no one dares to look past your insults and would discover your worst fears, your insecurities, and your pain.
You hide them and protect them like a dog protects his newborns. Chasing those away that dare come to close.
She saw the fear, the pain, and the struggle and asked if you were alright.
You responded with hatred and anger.
Because that's the only way you know how to.

When someone hands you a lifeline, you cut it off cold-blooded.
And you let yourself drown.

I dont hate you
Its just that ...
I hate the fact that you
call me up to tell me that your new girlfriend's bitchface
is better than my smile
I hate that you keep
reminding me of the whistling
winds that witnessed the moment when
You parted your lips melodiously
like piano keys
and them deceitfully claimed
you'd be my nothing if nothing lasts forever....
I hate that you compare my ******* to hers
I hate that you call me up to
say she is great at giving head when I never tried
Though it hurts
I find that I can't delete your number
And I keep picking your calls
Maybe you had my heart
more than you knew.