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"belayer" poems
Walking in with high hopes I knew that I’d fall A cushioned landing waited below Skin shreds with every reach, pull, and hang Fingers bleed and sweaty palms Slide and scrape against the rocks The climb left me before I left the wall With numbness in my hands and my toes, But mostly my cheeks disfigured by nails Pinning up a spastic smile You had no belayer obligation No rope tied on My harness to your grip A concrete landing waited below.
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Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 12:50 AM UTC
Bouldering
“ Belayer, ready? ” “ Ready! ” I stood beneath the tower, staring at you, as you slowly rappelled into my heart. You have this black wavy hair, porcelain skin, expressive eyes, and lips so red and tender. I’ve always dreamt of having a taste of heaven. But I am no more than a mediocre, vulnerable mortal. You, on the other hand, sat on a golden throne of excellence. You are a god of your own kingdom, of your own beliefs. I marvelled at your existence. You have that uncanny knack of making hearts melt. Mine was made of pure cold ice, yet it succumbed to the flames of your personality. I found myself melting. Dripping uncontrollably onto the ground. Sinking into the depths of your soul. You were a jack of all trades; master of almost anything. Impeccable—that’s what you are. Or so I thought. There I was, begging for a hint of affection. Pleading for a simple attention. A tiny piece of an unwanted shrub lost in a garden full of Juliet roses. I suffered from the realization of a dream lost at birth. This feeling of remorse crawls up like a spider ready to eat its prey. I was the prey, entangled in my own web of imaginations and fantasies. Fear dominated my mind that I decided to bury my feelings. Here inside my heart, they remain silent and untouched. Months, years passed. And all of a sudden, you desensitized me. You’ve pulled me into some kind of portal where a world full of possibilities awaits. I blinked again to find reality. No other relationship could get as frivolous as ours. What are we, really? My locked-up emotions were raging. I couldn’t stand the ambiguity. Albeit all questions running down my spine, I looked down and cried, “ Belayer, ready?! ” My question just echoed through the distance. There was not a single reply. Not even the slightest kind of whisper. I guess you were not yet ready to catch me. If I fall.
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Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 12:29 PM UTC
IF I FALL
“ Belayer, ready? ” “ Ready! ” I stood beneath the tower, staring at you, as you slowly rappelled into my heart. You have this black wavy hair, porcelain skin, expressive eyes, and lips so red and tender. I’ve always dreamt of having a taste of heaven. But I am no more than a mediocre, vulnerable mortal. You, on the other hand, sat on a golden throne of excellence. You are a god of your own kingdom, of your own beliefs. I marvelled at your existence. You have that uncanny knack of making hearts melt. Mine was made of pure cold ice, yet it succumbed to the flames of your personality. I found myself melting. Dripping uncontrollably onto the ground. Sinking into the depths of your soul. You were a jack of all trades; master of almost anything. Impeccable—that’s what you are. Or so I thought. There I was, begging for a hint of affection. Pleading for a simple attention. A tiny piece of an unwanted shrub lost in a garden full of Juliet roses. I suffered from the realization of a dream lost at birth. This feeling of remorse crawls up like a spider ready to eat its prey. I was the prey, entangled in my own web of imaginations and fantasies. Fear dominated my mind that I decided to bury my feelings. Here inside my heart, they remain silent and untouched. Months, years passed. And all of a sudden, you desensitized me. You’ve pulled me into some kind of portal where a world full of possibilities awaits. I blinked again to find reality. No other relationship could get as frivolous as ours. What are we, really? My locked-up emotions were raging. I couldn’t stand the ambiguity. Albeit all questions running down my spine, I looked down and cried, “ Belayer, ready?! ” My question just echoed through the distance. There was not a single reply. Not even the slightest kind of whisper. I guess you were not yet ready to catch me. If I fall.
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