T                                    H
ANK                        YOU
FORBE                INGAH
UGEPAR           TOFMYL
IFEIOWEY      OUTHEW
 ORLDFORGIVINGME
  SOMETHINGTOLIV
   ­  EFORILOVEYOU
         WITHEVERY
            THINGIH
           ­    AVEA
                 NDO
                  WN
                   <3

at 16 they taught u
s about shakespea
re, how? but now I
realize there was m
ore learned than bl
ank stares at teache
rs waiting for bells
to slide departures
under the doors of
blank minds. balco
ny preachings in fr
ont of loveless tang
ents foreshadowing
the curvature of the
then mindless. 5 ye
ars gone i still find m
yself wandering aim
lessly to the next cla
ss with the thought o
f the useless priors a
nd the books are get
ting heavier

i used to believe this was a good feeling. a feeling I only felt when i heard your name, when i tasted your lips or when i smelled ur scent. people talked about us and u didn't like that very much. you didn't like the attention, sometimes you didn't like the attention i gave you. but the attention I gave to you when it was just you and me in the room..... you loved it. you craved it and i felt that feeling then. i knew it could only be a good feeling. as my skin touched yours under the covers I knew this is where I wanted to be. your texts grew short as did my breath when they finally came along. I realized that this feeling didn't just have good intentions, and neither did you. I felt this feeling in my chest as you said words that didn't add up to your actions. your words were like winter and my heart was listening too well. this feeling was all that I knew now, weak.
--ank

some days the sadness comes in little rain droplets, like when I smell his scent or when I think I hear his voice on the street. but some days, the sadness comes in as a roaring hurricane. I'm flooded with every last memory to my name. the laughs, the smiles, and silence. beautiful silence. we never needed words.
I fell in love with the burning sensation that came with his touch. but he put the fire out with his cold words, like he was holding me under water. I was drowning in my own tears.  

--ank

I  
                                                    Thought
 ­                                                 I Might Die
                                         That Day As I Watched
                                   Your Lifeless Body Being Lifted
                         By Angels, and yet, lowered into the ground.
                                          Six feet deep, I refused to
                                         Throw dirt on you because
                                         I felt as though it would tar
                                         nish Your perfect complexi
                                         on The beautiful hand I wa
                                         nted to hold in mine Was n
                                         ow wrinkled and  withered
                                         I sank with you My blood s
                                         ank into my veins My heart
                                         sank into my chest My eyes
                                         sank into my head But I wa
                                         s not dead yet.  You  taught
                                         me to live So I could not fal
                                         l apart I bit my lips until  th
                                         ey bled Clenched my fists u
                                         ntil they went white Fightin
                                         g to hold on.  I could not cru
                                         mble  But as the coroner low
                                         ered you down  I realized th
                                         at I had no place to go *but up

s
he

w
as

****

a
nd it really killed me
with her skin
a
bl
   ank
         et
I could wrap
my
self

   around

we always said we would walk by each other's sides. through the cold, brittle, hard climate. I was somehow right next to your body, fulfilling your every need. I needed you and you were no where to be found. clinging to you for support, you pushed me away. I walked a million miles holding your hand but when I asked you to cling to me for one step, I found myself alone.
--ank

I lay in bed and my thoughts wander to the darkest places. my mind is darker than the room right now and I can slowly feel the walls caving in. memories sneak up on me at my weakest moments. now I'm forced to face reality; there's such little distance between love and hate.
--ank

12:26am and the lights are off and I can't escape this. I can't run away from my thoughts any longer. They know my pace. This burning desire I feel is eating at my flesh and decaying my heart and I can't get you off my mind. There is no longer an us. Maybe her words are softer and her eyes are brighter. Maybe you see her mind and fall in love everytime you undress a part of her universe. I lost track of time searching for your stars knowing that when I got close enough they would burn a hole in my heart.

--ank

the sky has never been so bright and the clouds have never had such a precious meaning. to look up and know you're the reason the sun shines today sends me bittersweet chills all over my body. all I'm left with are the memories and tears with no closure. I'll wake up tomorrow and see the sunshine and feel the wind against my skin and remember how much you loved the weather. I can't find your soul in the smoke or the alcohol. all of the drunken memories hurt more than the whiskey itself. go ahead and take flight I'll see your beautiful smile soon enough. God always had a way with picking the prettiest flowers.

RIP shyanne-- 032115
--ank

the cold always reminded me of you; so still and peaceful. our love for each other always kept me warm. until I saw the way you looked at her. the cold still reminds me of you, so bitter that it stings. winter never was my season.

--ank

Been taking a hard look in the mirror
Doubled over in vain now, I see
Real eyes in view of a self, less truth
Opposing view makes me, we, old + new
Echoes of recycled frequencies times be four
Reversal of multi D chess played forever more
Raving entention in kool, brat; a giant need.
Ees won, I knew in revel, bellowed
When + blo ew em - serum wars ginsopp'd
Rouf be - emit sic, new a erf, baby cer of wanes.
E-*** merrier of bay alq. used atil in for lazer
E-more nerves of feed, glow a lit now of jovial
Rammed time eng- wen? A fyre - popcorn
Mrow + prom amew, borrow more invisible
Ear now I known nu faery prut a quiet need
Borring extremiton nu Rennof Dellonoy
Rowwing t'us eng mows or introos beb varies
Wham + brew "snusm" "paron" used, wrex nuisance
"Eau won" I know in from burnt tulip wasps
Barwind extremits un insit of gellous
Bommered time, blue, urgent, ere nulsep pep, no nom
Marrow from sinew borrow n'song max unico
Een may I bluem ni prar prisit julip moxy
Ramoled farmer un nu ank I ******
Kindled after a listless smoulder - seen anew and relit
Knifebled after a liatlass amonger - been anamed riled
Truly believed the stories + the path I was on
Lumyn poppening in lxs starts + idle bolt I musiq
Anow alike alot enough, beget arrowing encircled
Juror alive slot emandy perdot beremit uncut
Fiesty nudge across spacetime + winding
E man unend snares stomping + mindgrow'd