I wish I could skip through time
Skip from laugh to laugh
Trip over a touch or twinkling eye
To get to where we should be
The dimension where we do kiss

I wish I could skip through time
Skip from plane to plane
To a time and place I need
The dimension where we do kiss

To a dimension where you smile and think
A place where no lips make the ship sink
Oh, how I wish to skip through time
Just to tip over the brink

It is her that awaits you at home
Curls her arms around you sweetly
Embraces you daily in plain love
That lightens your path like a muse

Me?
I'm your Nessie to play with as you will
Or a monster of my own creation
Only used to talk to or to sometimes vent
An alchemist's joke gone wrong
Left like a fear in the dark at the day's end

And You?
When you get home she laughs about me
as she slowly worships your warm lips with vigor
So you sense the love slipping between your bodies
Pronounce the words to her I now cannot say to you.

So  now I'm left on my own to
Fill the spaces between my fingers
Fill up the space between my toes
With the loneliness you gave me
                                  Until all I am
                                            all I will be
                                                               is alone.

If I had to compare you to anything at all,
Really, Oxygen would be my first call.
They say it makes us sure and carefree,
Yet it heats the body and calms it too.
So if I had to pick a thing for you to be,
I imagine you are my own O two.

Here’s how my mind fathoms you in its roll,
Here’s how I think you take your toll.
I need you and You need me,
I use you to hear, understand, see.
When you are near I concur to happiness,
When too close I edge towards madness,
More often than not it comes to the latter,
But in short, to me, you matter.

So you see,  I need you in any possible way,
Like O two, you captivate me every second of the day,
When you are gone I shake with yearning,
When you are near my heart is burning.
Therefore, should you ever have a doubt,
Know that without you,
                               I would not hold out.

All alone. All alone.
Standing on the moon, peeking in
The girl is on tiptoes and guard
Hand over her heart, fingers crossed
All alone. All alone.

Sighing at the looking glass
Even kicking at its stand as she stares
Sometimes it seems so vivid over there
At times, it seems so pretty, so good
But in the end she is lonesome.

All alone, All alone
She eats her food and does her hair
Squints into the mirror, mends any tear
Folds any napkin, breathes humid air
All other interests are gone.
Really, she just doesn't want to be alone.

Crying near the telescope,
Jumping up, bound at her middle with a rope
But no closer does the blue sphere get
No shot at life gets in view, not yet
So there she is, all alone, all alone.

All that is left is lying under blankets staring up
Staring at the ideal she herself set up.

The dust on your eyes
(I believe, I think, In my opinion)
Should have been blown away
Around the time of our goodbyes.


Get rid of the wrinkles age gave you
Lose the black and blue of the late Night
(I believe, I think, In my opinion)
Time should never have come inbetween
Our last goodbye and last hello.

They say I could be like sand near the seaside
And you the push and pull of the ocean
So you build and break me like the tide
Move sand away from my hands in motion
While I'm left to wait for the moment we collide.

They say I will cause your waves to break
Then how come you slither and never uncurl
With every squishing move forward I create?
Then how come even when caught, you whirl?
Even when in possession your storms culminate?

If I could only see into your whirlpools so deep
Be mesmerized by your blue, like being asleep
To fish for pearls of knowledge about you to keep

For though you gobble up any nautic attempt,
Though you defend with sloshed foam and current,
They say I am the shore and you are my ocean
And after all there is one true notion:
Your currents kiss my sandcastles every day
And willingly, my sand grains float your way.

There's always a point

Where you feel that something is wrong. A point where you (think you) realize that the other party views you through different eyes. A moment where you wonder what it is that makes you the lonely swan, or if you even are a swan and not the duckling. A moment where you wonder what it is that makes you so different. Where you wonder if it is the books, the love for make up or maybe the love for sowing.

That moment where you wonder if your colour will ever be noticed among all the other kites in the sky.

Always that moment.

When you ask yourself if maybe it's you, not your personality, but you,
how you flirt or how you talk or how you laugh or if you're not pretty enough
If it's because of you that the one you like does not seem to recognise you
for who you are or who you could be
but does seem to like all the other lillies in the pond.

When you reach that point,
just remember:

If they go for easy,
they're not worth it anyway.

Because in all honesty, if you would consider, even for a minute, my being, I would stop in my tracks. Stop in my tracks and go back every step of the way. I would run back through storms and hurricanes, through all the hurt and problems. I would make my way back.

If you would turn around and tell me, message me, I would find a way to get back home to you. If you would shout it to the universe, I’m confident I would find out and run back into your arms. I would somehow realize and come back.
I would find out, and I wouldn’t doubt for a minute.

I wouldn’t doubt for a second.

I wouldn’t doubt at all.

I would take that aeroplane back. I would take a boat, bus, horse or whatever to get back home to you. Because for me you are home, when you are who you are, it feels right. And I might be a sap , because I would fly to the ends of the earth for a glimmer or even a millisecond of us, but so be it. I would do anything for the experience of this feeling being reciprocated. For the knowledge that what I thought we had was not my imagination or my desperate need for a man. No, if you would turn around and face me to tell me it was me, I would not doubt.
Because for me it is you. I would fly back for that. For your small talk, our fights, our shared looks, our shared smiles. For the feeling of your hand on my back, for the feeling of your lips on mine. Because as far as I can see, that was what was meant to happen. You were supposed to hug me goodbye. I was supposed to hang on, you would deepen the hug. I would bury my head in the crook of your neck and you were supposed to push me against a wall and kiss me. But then I would have to leave but at least I would have my answer because you did something.

Except you didn’t.

Except you didn’t, and I got a weird one-armed hug and an awkward conversation that I still can’t really understand. Now I still don’t know, and I hate myself for not telling, not asking. I hate myself for all the time that has passed.

But during all the time I was waiting, am waiting, I understood one thing. One simple thing.

I love you, and will love you for a long time. And if you would ever tell me you missed me and loved me too, I would honestly take the next flight over. I would land and kiss you senseless, regardless of the fact that you were supposed to make the first move. Regardless of the fact that I like my men dominant.
This is the truth. If you would honestly tell me you loved me all that time, I would.

Because I would jump at the chance to

be with you

And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

You're words fallen off a page
Pages ripped out of a book
books pulled from the shelf
My pages, My books, My shelves

Dear Long-Lost-Tourist,
You seem confused as to how
You seem to wonder why, where
It seems you have no clue

You're blood dripping on the floor
You're the 2 degrees in a high fever
You're the things the world has
but nobody'd miss

You're words cut from my tongue
letters unfamiliar to my eyes
signs weird to the touch
& I guess, I wish, I think

This is me saying goodbye.

Sometimes when I shut it out
When I need the storm to subside
When I enforce the quiet around me
It is all I see.

The sound of dreams,
Of hopes left in the corners
The feel of raw skin on the walls
Rough edges on the doorstep
The sound of feet dragged through dust
The tingle of ritual and tradition.

Sometimes when I stop to think
When I close the gates to the sea
When I lock up the wind
When I push and bend the coral
It is all I can feel.

The taste of fear
Of angst turned into ashes in my mouth
The smell of laughter on your tongue
The sweet aftertaste of love at night,
The sourness of happiness  blanketing it all

Sometimes when I shut it out,
Life is all I hear.

Love.

Love is what makes me think about you opening up, hugs, calls, reactions.
It reminds me of songs, of looks, of actions.
It creates the memories of you walking in to talk, laugh, smile and other distractions.
But it also makes me remember the shenanigans and how hateful you can be.
How fast you could leave the room after I finished my tea.
Love recalls the touch of your hands and how you danced in the kitchen with me.
And how fast we got closer and how we insulted each other playfully.
But it also remembers how you can sit and make me feel like I have no chance.
It remembers the metre between us on the bed and during the dance.

For Love Is Cruel.

It does not care or mind if it is mutual and it has no preference for a type of person in this huge crowd.
It minds not whose heart will be ****** into the fire, nor how long it took to heal before, if  it is suddenly allowed.
There is even carelessness in treating the reopened wounds after ripping bandages off the heart.
Not a single **** in the world could be given if the heart is barely able to beat on its own or will fall apart.

Because Love Hurts.
And the mind knows.

You**

There are eyes that are more captivating, but your eyes have got those specks and freckles in it that come with being you. There are lips prettier than yours, but they don’t have the same attractive person behind it, the same rough voice or the cute dimples.

There are girls who would hear a louder heartbeat whenever someone looks at them. But when you look at me, there are drums in my heart when your eyes meet mine. And trust me, I don’t hear drums a lot. There are words that could probably describe better how you play with my heartstrings. Words that describe how you are the thunderstorm I get stuck in and hit by lightning just because you touch me in the tiniest way. A lignting bolt that travels through me with the light of speed and causes my heart to
jump up, drop dead and jump again

You are the falling snow I hate to walk through but love to play in.

There are words that describe you much better than mine, though, because I don’t do you any justice.

To me you are bubbles, laughter, my friends all in one room, someone blowing smoke rings and swallows in the sky. You are like my cup of coffee in the morning: the first thing I want to see. You are the voice that softly wakes me up instead of the shrill alarm clock. You are that feeling I get when I doze and realize I'm are halfway into sleep. You are the soothing warmth coming over me when I’m panicked and they tell me it’s going to be okay.

You are my dance and my groove, you are the bass that makes my ribcage move to your beat. You are the sunlight on a day it’s been pouring. You are the yellow car between all the black ones. You are the black and whites I see and all the different colors you paint my views. You are like that one red skittle that I want when there’s none leftover.

But I don’t mind.

I don’t mind at all.

In July I lost naivety
     Well, I did not lose all
    But some of it has been strewn around

In July my heart stopped
It relapsed because I gave it to you
To you to use instead of yours
because surely a black heart
it could not beat?

In July I shoved it all aside
No, in fact, I multitasked with one sole focus
I functioned while watching at the side line
I reached my goal while looking down
In July I gave it all

But now is now and it's come in
The magnitude has struck
The heart has been returned
But I can't wash off the black
I can't scrub off the seriousness

In October I regained my heart
But lost all the more because of it.