It hurts

You said you didn't like change

I told you change was good

I guess you've changed your mind

You like change now

I'll love you in any form you take.

An anarchist with a molotov
A Jewish kid exclaiming mozel tov

A child with light up shoes
A teenage boy with anger issues

A girl with barrettes in her hair
A young man full of hot air

A beautiful boy trapped in his own mind

The most amazing man who's ever so kind

An awestruck angel full of surprises

And a puppy of all different sizes

Pluck the beating heart from my chest
Take my dignity, yeah, the rest
Take my soul and all my morals
tear my flesh from the bone
for my sins, i'll atone
take my eyes my ears my tongue
give me lashings give me stones
break every last one of my ******* bones
take my whisky take my nicotine
take my honor take my loyalty
break me hurt me torture me
but please dear God
Don't take him.

Difficult.
You said i crave difficult
You said you were "difficult"
If difficult is not wanting to die
If difficult is loving myself
If difficult is happiness
If difficult is feeling butterflies in my gut
If difficult is having a future
If difficult is a german shepherd
If difficult is shared cigarettes
If difficult is soft whispers
If difficult is a reason to wake up
If difficult is a busy small apartment
If difficult is holding each other
If difficult is hours upon hours of plans
If difficult is feeling complete for once
If difficult is laughing and smiling
If difficult is a loving embrace
If difficult is a rebellious fire
If difficult is puppy kisses and tight grips
If difficult is pancakes
If difficult is an angel, you
If difficult is the love of my life
If difficult is the stars in the sky
If difficult is love letters
If difficult is puppy kisses
If difficult is sleeping soundly
If difficult is a reassuring hand
If difficult is peace
If difficult is too many blankets on the bed
If difficult is an open heart
If difficult is being yours
If difficult is us?
You're ******* right I want difficult.
Ad astra per aspera.

when i lay down to rest in my bed
its you who dances around in my head
you are the never ending sky
you are the best kind of high
whole days spent on the phone
you make me feel not alone
i hope you feel this in your chest
and never forget that i tried my best
i want to feel your arms around me
holding falling drowning
an eternal abyss
unadulterated bliss
you were the one good with words
i miss you
Longing.