There once was a time when I couldn't fall asleep
without your strong arms around me and your breath on my neck,
but now I despise when you fill that empty space next to me and flop
your now saggy arms across my waist as you move in closer
and the scent of alcohol creeps out of your mouth
to fill the once sweet smell of our room.
It's 11 PM, and I'm laying in that queen size bed trying to decide
if I should let the darkness take over me or turn a light on
because I know you'll be calling in a few hours
to come get you because you're too drunk to drive home.
The front door creeks open then slams shut
as I hear footsteps on those old, wooden stairs you promised me 3 months ago
you would carpet.  The clock reads 11:11 and I make a wish
That it wouldn't be you
stumbling into our room, crawling into bed, and trying
to get lucky.
Waiting for the familiar sound of your jeans hitting the floor, I braced myself
for the unpleasant smell and feeling
that was about to encompass me.
I close my eyes and try to let the darkness overpower me before you get the chance to.

If I am a good father

I can be

A good leader

Sort of xylophone trumpity music

"Space, the final front ear..
These are the voyages of the star ship Compromise,
it's five or six year mission: to explore strange new worlds
or just look at them from the safety of the Captain's bridge.
To seek out new life and new civilizations.. or not.
To boldly go where no man..
or woman or person or ummm.. cat .. has gone before..

que wirly singy music and twirl about the living room*

Or we could just stay at home, playing Pokemon go.. ?
either way i'm good.

I believe there is no sanctuary
for me in this subdivision
of dreams, cathedrals
built by unknowns

I am like grass
cracking their concrete,
I was carved by a stone knife
in the mountains
where I learned to speak

I am the rider called death
bleeding in my sleep,
sitting in the saddle
with Dark, the black man
and his crazy blues

I sink down like a diver
into the deep water,
like an unknown poet
going down with his ship.

The pretty girl with the wide smile,
that doesn't quite reach her eyes.
The happy girl with the loud laugh,
that doesn't want to socialize.

The quite girl with the long sleeves,
is starting to feel like a fraud.
The perfect girl with the straight hair,
is getting tired of the façade.

The pretty girl has a fake smile,
and is filling her body with cuts.
While, the perfect girl with the straight hair,
is puking out her guts.

The happy girl with the pretend laugh,
spends her nights crying to the stars.
While, the quiet girl with the long sleeves,
has a body full of bruises and scars.

So, not everything is as it seems.
Because, while everything seems fine,
these girls are full of silent screams.

I look through eyes
Which seem to be blind
Searching for beauty
I cannot find

I listen with ears
That must be impaired
I only hear words
Which make me scared

I think with a mind
That cannot deduce
Why am I here
And what is the use

I feel with a heart
That searches for love
But it’s only you
That I can think of
BOEMS BY JA 544

A thousand years across the sea,
With you is where i want to be;
A thousand voices from outer space,
But only your words matter to me;

A million things i've earned in life,
Only your love i can't repay;
A million wrongs i've done to you,
I wonder why i'm loved this way;

A billion choices that i have made,
None of them's right like choosing you;
A billion friends i still can make,
None of them's worth more than you;

A trillion tears can roll down my face,
From hurting you to my disgrace;
A trillion pieces has my heart been split,
A trillion more you stayed to put it in place;

A zillion things i'll do for you,
Now its time to start anew;
A zillion worth of purest gold,
Nothing ever compares to you.