1.
I made my way through thin, cigarette trees
as I searched for, and simultaneously, lost myself.
The foliage coated the ground in different shades of gold,
soft earth's natural armour against my violent feet.

2.
I whispered like smoke, from some conscious place,
"where are you,

                       where are you?"

3.
I found the moon in wavering waters,
resembling a pale dinner plate.
The stars, its companions,
the table on which it was set.

4.
I looked for recognition in the eyes of my reflection,
the face was that of another woman.
One that did not flinch like an exposed nerve;
One that knew she was more like a grains of sand at her feet,
than the gravity around her.

I folded my tired self into her stillness,
knowing that I controlled nothing, and
finally rested.

Take me back to sugar days,
give me back my sugar smile.
Cover up my broken eyes,
take back 1000 broken miles.
Bring back the love I lost
somewhere along the way.
Give me back my
grandmother's hugs
and evey family day
that I never really appreciated,
until today.
Cut me into fine pieces and
share me with the world.
I just need some affection
right now,
even if it isn't real.

Take me back to the days
where I could laugh and play
and say, "I love you,"
without being questioned.
Give me the sun again,
because the moon makes
me too reminiscent.
Bring back the clear water
seeping into my skin.
Give me the innocence I had
when I was just a kid.
Let me make that wish
and build a dream
and feel like I can do anything.
Put my insomnia to sleep
and lie with me,
holding me through
all my bitter dreams.

Give me drugs and
give me ***
and promise me you'll stay
here till the end.
Laugh with me and
cry with me,
even if you have to lie to me.
Trick me into believing that Jesus isn't the only one who would die with me.
Just don't ever say
goodbye to me.

Who knows where we'll go.
Take me back to sugar days,
make me a kid again.
Give me back the love
that I used to know.