What do you do when all you want is to be elsewhere?
Not, another town, another job, another life,
but elsewhere.
What do you do when a child's scream of enjoyment
makes you start to cry, cry for that child's future disappointment,
your current disappointment?
What do you do when you feel envy at a bird in the sky?
Wanting to float on the thermal, up, up and then away.
But, you and that child who's enjoyment sent you spiralling,
have to remember, Icarus.
He soared away into the sun, that baleful, always watching,
globe of fire.
Purified by death.

Foolish, foolish girl.
You should know better than to
Gift swine with a lady's gems.

I would have drawn your tears  
Before you even knew my name if you
Placed your will in my

Two-faced hands. I have sides to me
That break beauty by habit,
That cannot be trusted with hearts.

Foolish girl. Others have wasted time
On me, then left. You should listen;
They were right to. I was there.  

Someone unknowing would say:
All men can be changed. They break
In the end... Get housebroken.

Someone knowing; knowing how some things  
Should hurt, would say: Let All Things Go
That Wish To.

Girl. So kind, so smiling to
Me from the outside, handing me a basket  
Cradling your every last egg.

You exist all around me.
You exist in and around my bedroom,
and you sleep with me at night.
You walk with me to my car when it's dark outside, and you force me to feel the darkness,
even when others tell me that it's impossible to feel.
You touch me when I dress and undress,
with the doors closed and the windows shut.
Your ghostly fingers graze the most vulnerable places on my body:
my neck, my wrists, and the space behind my knees.
You watch me from the inside of my mind,
keeping me up on the nights that I need sleep the most.
You whisper to me, telling me to look harder at night, listen longer in silence,
feel more with my hands when I can't see with my eyes.
You make your presence known when the strong winds of the night move my house;
the floorboards creak and settle, and the house hums. Or is that you?
Is that you lulling me to sleep?

It's as if you're protecting me from yourself,
because when I see you and hear you and feel you, I sense a guardian.
But I remember, with a rush of hurt, that you brought me here.
You left me here.
You are not an angel, but a ghost that lingers and haunts me.
You force me to fight you off, even when I sometimes want you to stay;
it is a paradox that leaves me empty, but drowning.

You are an angel and a demon, an ally and an enemy.
If you are really there, as I feel that you are, listen to me
as I have always listened to you:
Torment somebody else.

She's here gathering more of her things.
Keeps asking if I want this and that, and I'm sick
With the flu under a blanket on the sofa

Watching my muse quit, from
Deep inside my sweater hood.
Droplets of fever on my forehead,
And she can't keep from touching my face
Every time she walks by.
I turn my mouth against her palm and
Close my eyes. Knees buckle. She
Whimpers.

Something dying that
Tries to not
Want to
Live.

The rose captain knows my name
This perfume breath I breathed
For you my dear, my love will never leave*

dear love of old,
they say absence makes the heart grow fonder
but as i've separated myself from you
my feelings have only become colder
i used to adore every part of you
but now as we get older
i see that my rose tinted vision
wouldn't let me listen
to what i should have realized sooner:
you're only out to hurt me
even if it's unintentionally
the kind of you and the kind of me
are, truly, never meant to be
and it's not a flaw on us, you see
it's just something that is
like the tides of the ocean
dictated by the moon
and the cycles of life
we all must endure.

dear love of new,
we haven't faced much hardship or strife
since we have crossed paths in this life
our lives are young, and we are fun
and we've been hurt too much
we confide our sorrows
and look toward tomorrows
with optimistic views
and watch the news
in hopes that things will get better.
but for us, things are on the ups
because we have found one another
and things are simple,
things are fun,
and my feelings for you make me want to run
through green meadows and pick flowers
and you make me think
that things could be okay
and i will be okay

A voice echoes through my head--
My name, sounding
Over and over again.

A thought flits across my mind,
And a smile alights on my face.

"Maybe it's my soulmate,"
My heart thinks.

My head shakes,
Dispelling the romantic fantasy.

Because hearts don't think,
And a stranger's voice can't speak in my head.