Love is not, and love will never be
The Mountain tips that touch the sky
But, yes it is the sorrowful night I brought to thee
An iridescent high

To worship is not to love
But I know of nothing more
Waiting for the chance at the veiled cove
Knock three times on wood-less door

But why does the moon long for the sun?
Still waiting, still wishing, even after the breaking of dawn.
The moon continues to chase, in the never ending run.
In eclipses she shatters, in eclipses he yawns.

The foolishness of love, the gentleness of pain
Something I will never trade, **the darkest stain.

The roaring sound of applause is becoming too boisterous to bear.

A flock of cameras and video recorders begin to huddle at the corners of the platform set behind the curtains of the stage. Actors, dancers, stage crew, and all of those who smiled, slowly line up for the grand finale.

But not this girl.

This girl sits on top of the railing of the things that hold up the set. Waiting, seeking, and wistfully watching. An actress, without a doubt. One of the best, they say. Although this girl had no plans to take that step and accept gravity as her master and plummet to her death, she won’t deny that she hasn’t thought of that before. This time, she had other things on her mind. Something radical? Well, maybe. Spontaneous? She was too lazy to move. Dark and twisted? Not in that sense. Nonetheless, she was thinking of something with importance.

For instance, she was thinking about the homemade cookies her mother used to give her, if she behaved perfectly, quiet, and still. Since she loved the feeling of success and food in her stomach, she fought back the longing of playing games and having fun.“Too perfect a child”* some might say, but that never got into her. All she wanted was the sky, moon, stars, and nothing all at once.  

Years go by, mistakes are done, and nothing is made whole again. The girl is woven in a snare of lies and is drowning in a bathtub full of the blood of swine. She swims and floats and tries to escape the demons that haunt her very soul. Breathe in, breathe out. She continues to sit perfectly, quietly and still. Never talking, only listening, to the sounds of rules and rules and rules and rules and rules and rules that mess up her insides.

The girl performs an act that no one has ever seen. Taunting and terrifying, but beautiful and graceful all together.  The mask shows her perfection, the mask shows you nothing. Jump, then fall, tumble to the ground. Tick, tock, tick, tock, the sound as time goes by.

Tick
tock
tick
stop.


The roaring sound of applause from the demons in her head is becoming too boisterous to bear.

A flock of cameras and video recorders begin to huddle at the corners of the platform set at the unseen bottom of the pit. Actors, dancers, stage crew, and all of those who tell her, slowly line up for the grand finale.

*She takes that step.

out of all the games I chose to play
and all the broken hearts, you chose to stay.

not because of me, or love, if that exists.
but because of the game you always wanted to win.

now, I don't dare believe in beginners luck
yet you seem to know how to play this little game

I, carelessly, managed to fall.
You, never even helped me stand up.

I lost at this pathetic game.
You, laughed at my plea of help.

we both know how to manipulate this amusing stance
**but I refuse to lose.

" I love you"
                    **the little man said
                              from the depths of the world until after the horizon
                  my love for you will cease to shatter
                                                     darling, i’ll love you forever

with his finger behind the trigger
                    pulled with all of his strength
                                           a bullet filled with poison

             soared through space and time

     *just to land in my hearts chamber

The night remains cold and the stars seem to falter
There isn’t a song sung tonight

How I yearn for the dawn to arrive
To at last be basking under the suns Light

You see, I’ve waited. I’ve waited.
I’ve felt and kissed and saw and cried.

I’ve waited. For so long a time all I could see were clouds blocking the sky and you. You. I saw you. There basked in light I never thought I’d see in my life.

I loved you. You loved me. I love you.
Truly I do. I can’t seem to see past your face your eyes your lips your everything, yet why?

Why must the moon replace the sun in the sky?
Why must the stars fall to the depth of the morning sky?

I thought of you the other day saw your face heard your words as they softly caress my hearing.

Oh how I loved to hear your words, your voice, your song. Oh how I loved you.

Maybe it’s the way you speak, like valleys slowly being filled up with oceans.

But you forget that I cannot swim.

The night draws closer and closer. I feel as if I lost you to the empress of the night sky.

To see you one last time, that will be alright. To tell you I love you, once again

I loved you.

Light slips away from my hands.

Your words float and dance in front of my eyes.

My lungs fill up with water.

As I desperately grasp for the morning light.